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Summary: Effective Family Living series Part 3

How to be a great husband

Last week we heard, “ how to be a great wife”. I live with danger when tackling that topic. If I didn’t get it right, I could get beat up at home. In fact some of you men came up to me and in a very manly way started sharing with me the bruises you suffered from your wife who sat next to you in church, from all the nudging in the pews. You proceeded to show me the nudge marks on your ribs. That tells me I was right on, I didn’t do too bad, must have hit some home-runs there. This week’s sermon deals with a tougher issue than last week’s. I’ve got to tackle now “how to be a great husband.” Telling men what to do - now that is risky. Have you known any husband to ask for directions when they are lost?

First piece of free advice: No more wrestling in the pews or nudging in the pews or violence of any sort. Men, just hold your wife’s hand, and squeeze lovingly, if a point hits home. When your wife squeals in pain, you have gone over the line, bud! I think I am feeling a bit of pressure now about this great husband stuff, if I don’t get it right, I can get into bigger trouble. I can get more than nudge marks on my ribs from some the big guys in the pews. If you pick up tomorrow’s paper and see me in the front page see the headlines “Pastor abused by irate husbands” or if next week if u see, bruises on me, or if I am hospitalized, or find another preacher preaching on this pulpit, you know what happened. There is a story that goes…

A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss." The husband takes the doctor’s advice.

He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, "From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong. And another thing, guess who’s going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?"

His wife says calmly, "The undertaker."

It’s tough to be a great husband, isn’t it guys? Our current climate is not very hospitable. There appears to be quite a bit of husband bashing going around. It seems, to me, it has become quite fashionable. TV shows almost always presents husbands as lovable pet, lovingly inept and totally out of to lunch when it comes to being a great husband. Exhibit #1 current #1 MTV show - The Osbournes - Ozzy Osbourne , whose household uses curse words freely; #2 “The Simpsons” – Homer Simpson, need I say more? or Exhibit 3 “Home Improvement” with the husband always blowing things up. It is open season for husband beating.

Further proof - Movies such as “First Wives Club” where 3 ex-wives get together and plot the ultimate revenge for their no-good ex-husbands,. How about that recent movie starring Jodie Foster called “The Panic Room” there is a scene where the husband of the woman hero got the stuffing kicked out of him by the bad guys. There’s a sense of yeah he deserved that for all the misery he has Foster through. It’s also in our novels as reported by a journalist: “The dominant mantra in Olivia Goldsmith’s caustic eighth novel, the male-bashing, female-bonding Young Wives, is familiar: The only worthwhile man is a "future former husband." The rest are pond scum.” And the only other good model for a good man is a violence ridden, steroids- laden man such as the Scorpion King or a Rambo. C’mon, who can afford those drugs and the fees they charge at the gyms these days? Guys, we are out to lunch. That’s why many today give up, go for a beer, get a beer gut and hang out with the guys and watch the playoffs. Too much pressure.

Whether you are or not a husband we all can benefit from this message. Some of u here may be one, one of these days, or have one that needs a little encouragement, or have a friend whom you can encourage or have a dad whom you can help and encourage to be a great husband for mom. Because it’s all about Eph.5:18-21. That’s the introduction to the rest of the passage. Don’t take that out of the equation. Spirit-filled mutual submission is the thing that ties this whole passage together. V.21 must always frame the thinking about how to be a great husband. Everyone can learn more about this. One writer puts it “only the weak are stubborn, unyielding and domineering.” That’s so true. Look at who are the ones in society that are stubborn, unyielding and domineering – kids, and are they weak!

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