Summary: How To Identify And Overcome Difficult People
How To Identify And Overcome Difficult People
* Remember that you can overcome any difficult person through the strength, wisdom and enabling given to you through Christ.
Once you confidently express your faith God’s ability to help you overcome any problem person you are well on your way to conquering feelings of anger, fear or resentment.
Paul wrote, "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed... And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. the LOrd will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom." (2 Tim. 4:16-18)
Ask the Lord for the renewal of your assurance that you can be an overcome through His grace, faith and empowerment.
Refuse to give in to worry, doubt or anger when adversity comes to you through a wide variety of difficult people:
(Some of the following characteristics of difficult people were adapted from Muriel Solomons excellent book: Working With Difficult People, Prentice Hall Publishers)
Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. (Rom. 12:21)
A. Whiners - This person starts their every day with negative complaints. Morning is their time to rise and whine. Whiners love to rise but they refuse to shine. The theme of a whiner is , "It isn’t fair!" Whiners love to wallow in feelings of self-pity because they have the mistaken perception that everyone else gets all the breaks in life.
B. Martyrs - This individual loves to tell everyone, "No one ever appreciates me." When they are not feeling good, martyrs let everyone know how much they are suffering, stressed out or struggling to keep their head above water.
C. Cynics - Sarcasm is their favorite way to communicate. Often they complain that nothing will ever change so they enjoy telling others, "Why should we even try?" Cynics usually do not make much of a difference in life because they are trapped in the misperception that the odds are stacked against them. However, they love to pretend that they are morally, intellectually and even spiritual superior to others.
D. Perfectionsits - These individuals are extremely hard to please. No matter what other people do to try to make them happy, they are never satisfied. Perfectionists are extremely hard to be around because they insist that nothing is ever good enough as it should be. Perfectionistic parents usually say to their children, "Can’t you do it any better than that?"
E. Arguers - These individuals love to verbally joust with those around them. If someone will take a positive position on an issue, they will jump to the negative side just for the sheer joy of having someone to debate. Arguers feel that they somehow justify their existence when they have made other people have to think of the opposite side of every topic. Many radio talk show hosts fall into this category because a good argument is always the fuel for their fire.
F. Dominators - These people love to take control of other people. By positioning themselves into offices of authority, dominators are often obsessed with controlling the affairs of peoples’ lives. Fidel Castro and Saddam Hussein are classic dominators who are are addicted to control, authority and power.
G. Apathetic - These people have such an indifferent attitude that their neutrality is a mask for their lack of concern for what is really important. Apathetic people are often lazy, complacent and led more by fear than by their faith in God, His word and the promises of scripture.
H. Over-Reactors - These people tend to exaggerate their difficulties or their successes. Seldom are these individuals willing to face up to the fact that hardships are not as bad as they seem or as difficult as they might appear.
I. Legalists - These people try to find their security in close attention to the finest aspects of rules, regulations and policies. Afraid that someone might take advantage of a situation, the legalists are constantly on patrol to make sure people are held accountable to all kinds of laws while often forgetting the spirit of love, order and goodness in which the law was written.
J. Spiritualists - These individual try to find a spiritual excuse or reason for every problem. Unfortunately, many well meaning people find themselves failing to own up to their own responsibilities because they over-spiritualize situations.
K. Humanists - Some people tend to think that most problems in life can be solved if people were merely more humanitarian and civl toward one another. These individuals fail to realize that there are great limits to what human being can do in a world created and controlled by a Sovereign God.