How To Manage Conflicts

1. Why Try to Manage Conflicts? - Some conflicts are beyond our ability to resolve so learn to do what is within our area of responsibility and leave the rest of pressures to the Lord’s control. (I Pet. 5:7,8)

2. Every conflict situation has thc potential for making us bitter or better (Heb. 12:15) Good management skills in the face of conflict can give others an example for handing adversity. (James 1:2-5. )

3. Coping skills can give us healthy means of ventilating our frustrations. (Sa. 4:6-l0) Conflict management skills help us to use situation to improve, refine and gain maturity in many aspects. (Eph. 4:1 5,1 6)

4. Successful managers of conflict can lead people to greater heights in their communication, motivation and analytical skills in handling conflicts. within people and organizations. (Rom. 12: 1-21 )

The Problems of Poor Conflict Management - Failure to effectively deal with conflicts can lead to greater frustration, discouragement and resentment. (Eph 4:28-32) Inability to make thc best of every situation can hinder people and organizations from making necessary changes. (Eph. 4:1 11-15)

1. Those who lose their objectivity during conflicts are governed more by their emotions than rational thinking. (Gal. 5:19-21)

2. Anger that is not resolved in certain conflicts can spill over into one’s family, friendship or spiritual life. (Eph. 2:14,15) A perpetual state of immaturity can result in the lives of those who refuse to obey God in all aspects. (2 Tim. 3:7)

3. A lukewarm state of complacency settles in to people and organization that do not continue to grow through tough times. (Rcvd. 3:16)

4. Gossip, backbiting and slander can spread rapidly through an organization that does not effectively manage conflict. (James 4:1-4)

Different Approaches to Conflict Management -

1. Some people try to avoid conflict by all means. These passive and unassertive individuals miss out on thc opportunities of making the most of their trials. (Col.3:23,24)

2. Other people are so eager to please people that they do everything to avoid a confrontation. Accommodating individuals are willing to give whatever it takes to maintain peace and smooth relationships. This approach leads to a defeatist way of looking at problems. (2 Tim. 1:7)

3. Some people insist on getting their own way and are willing to use whatever means necessary to will any battle.

4. Dominating people are open rude, assertive to a fault, and proud. (Prov. 16:18) Other people are willing to compromise in order to save face and reduce the level of conflict. Through negotiating, these individuals are willing to take the best from both sides and reach Solutions that help people reach joint resolution. Notice how these people often compromise all essentials just to quickly see problems solved. (Gal. 5:1 )

5. Thc wisest people use collaborating skills to manage conflicts. They provide a win-win feeling of resolution in conflicts for most parties. These individuals are able to pull all parties toward the greater goals of our Lord, His Church and the great commission. (Matt. 28:18-20)

Essential Considerations in Conflict Management -

1. Help all parties maintain a love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (I Tim. 1:5)

2. Provide ways to help everyone focus on the most important long-term goals for giving God glory through- thc qualitative and quantitative growth of His kingdom and His righteousness.-(Matt. 6:33)

3. Be willing to show flexibility, patience and understanding attitude during the entire conflict resolution process. (Col. 3:12-17)

4. Do not worry about the things that are outside of your control or major responsibilities. (Luke 16:10)

5. Put away feelings of anger, greed or slander during the process of conflict resolution. (Col. 3:5-9)

6. Be willing to learn from other Godly people in the successful ways that they manage conflict. (2 Tim. 3:10)

7. Do not get bogged down in one conflict while forgetting that you main responsibility is to obey God’s will for your life. (John 14:21)

8. Do not expect to have every answer for all questions before moving ahead. (Deut. 29:29)

9. Do not try to micro-manage every situation to your own specifications. (Prov. 3:5,6)

Results of Godly Conflict Management -

1. You will Leave a legacy like Abraham in the way that your great faith helped you overcome obstacles in accomplishing all of the will of God. (Rom. 4:20,21 )

2. Be willing to carry your cross regardless of the cost and you will receive a crown of righteousness for all eternity for your endurance. (Luke 9:22,23)

3. Be like Job in his management of conflicts that went beyond the range of his controls. Like the prophet Job you will be able to come out of the conflict as a better, more mature person who can say Lord I know you can do all things and no purpose of yours can be thwarted." (Job 42:1,2)