Husbands Be Considerate

HUSBANDS BE CONSIDERATE

1 Pet 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Be understanding.

Be chivalrous.

The woman has equal spiritual rights.

What Peter called the men to do was unusual advice in that culture: Woman had no rights. The following quote was a common belief in ancient times: “If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity, you can kill her with impunity without a trial; but, if she were to catch you, she would not venture to touch you with her finger and, indeed, she has no right.” In the Roman moral code all the obligation was on the wife and all the privilege with the husband. So when Peter said, in the same way be considerate.’’ The question in the same way as what? In context, it is submission. In the same way as Jesus was submissive so you be submissive. The best example of submission is Jesus Christ.

1 Pet 2:21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 1 Pet 2:22 "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." 1 Pet 2:23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

How submissive was Jesus?

A. Cannot sin even if sinned against. (He committed no sin).

B.Cannot use your mouth to seek revenge. (When they hurled their insults at him).

C.Trust God for the results. (Instead he entrusted himself).

D.Must be committed to doing the right thing even though the other is doing the wrong thing. (He himself bore our sins).

Look at how Jesus surrendered his life in order to meet our needs! Look at his heart. Look at his spirit.

In the same way that Jesus was submissive and totally trusted God so men be considerate of your wives and gain knowledge of how to treat her. Gain understanding of her needs and how to meet them. Another translation says:

Likewise, you husbands, live understandingly with your wives, remembering that women are the weaker sex and assigning honor to them as fellow-heirs of the grace of life, so that there may be no barrier to your prayers.

When I first began focusing on this area I had to realize that Tres had a different paradigm, basically spoke a different language when it comes to what’s considerate and what’s not considerate. This helped me to realize that I just needed to start over. A clean slate. Like I don’t know anything about it. I just need to let her teach me what it’s all about in her language. The first month seemed impossible. Emotionally I was discouraged a lot. It seemed like no matter what I did it didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t meeting the need. I’ve had to learn that when something’s exposed in your character its just the tip of the iceberg. The problems all over the place. I’ve just never seen it. Sort of like when you get a car and you start seeing the same car everywhere. The first month I saw my lack of thoughtfulness everywhere!

She asked me a number of questions like:

When was the last time you did something just for me?

Do you admire me?

Why don’t you make me feel special throughout the day?

Do you adore me and want me to be in your space?

Why is there so much distance?

Why do I watch TV? and not bring her near me?

She was clear in that she wanted me to:

Be around during the important times during the day.

Be sensitive to the amount of work that she does with the kids.

When she asks me to do something to do it without hesitation.

Be quick to respond to her needs.

What I’ve Learned:

I’ve learned that it’s the little things that let her know that I’m thinking about her. Not just giving her flowers or cards but meeting the need of the hour. This takes prayer and thought and being in touch with her.

I’ve learned that my wife wants to be pursued.

I’ve learned that my wife wants to be missed.

I’ve learned that my wife doesn’t like the leftovers (leftover time, me giving to everyone else and then being so tired I don’t want to give to her).