Summary: To become aware of the importance of developing effective people skills and to cause you to understand that your success in life and in ministry is greatly determined by the ability to relate well to other people.

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Introduction: Questions that will guide our understanding process:

1. What do you mean by relationships?

2. What are the types of relationships ordained by God?

3. What are the qualities that can help me become an effective leader?

4. How do you deal with difficult people?

5. How do you get rid of the spirit of offense?


Relationship: comes from the word “relate”.

Relationships – the state of being related or connected to.

Relation - position that one person hold in respect to another


1. Between Man and God (man’s source of direction).

2. Between God and Body of Christ (world’s source of direction).

3. Between Saint to Saint (monitors how well we are doing with God).

4. Between Gender (Male and Female) – God’s plan for ultimate fulfillment.

Single state

Espoused (engaged) state

Married state

You can never separate people from the ministry or life.

A divine call or being a Christian does not guarantee success. You have a part to play in the success.

Matthew 20:28

The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Jesus came to serve others – that is the key to success in life and ministry.

John 10:10-11

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy, I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.

If you are a human, you are called to PEOPLE! You cannot escape them!

You need to be able to work with ALL types of people to be successful.

Success is 15% product knowledge and 85% people knowledge.

If you cannot get people to open and be honest with you, you cannot successfully help them.

Why People Fail:

1. Personality (85%).

2. Lack of people.

If you haven’t learned the art of getting along with people, then you need to develop it.


Winning people is more than manipulating them.

Manipulate – influence people for your own agenda.

Winning – moving together for mutual advantage.

To win is to gain the love, respect and favor of other people.

Before you can help people, you must win their confidence (even if you have the things they need).

If you are constantly getting into conflict with people, check yourself out.

Understanding Leadership:

Leaders are made, not born. Anyone can develop leadership qualities.

Leadership – the capacity and the will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence; influence (in a positive way).

Management – assurance that guidelines (procedures) of a company are met.





Let’s go attitude


Drives workers

Inspires fear

Go, go, go

Real leadership is having the ability to influence people in the proper way and motivate; other leaders being produced.

You must see people as valuable and precious. Then they can become productive and not a liability.

The greatest testimony for you as a leader is a godly lifestyle (I Peter 5:3).

A lot of leaders create their own problems by the inability to confront people.

Acts 20:27-31

For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears.

People are looking for a safe and secure person to lead them.

How To Develop Essential Leadership Qualities:

I. A good follower.

The attitude you live by will determine the attitude you fly by.

You must have a teachable and submissive spirit.

James 4:7

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.


1. To God’s Word

2. To Holy Spirit

3. To Love

A good leader will always be conscious that he is subject to a higher power; the chief shepherd.

Love seeks the welfare of others before itself.

As you go up in leadership, the more responsibility and the less rights.

II A good listener.

You spend 70% of verbal communication in a day; 45% of that time is spent listening.

Not one person possesses all knowledge so listening is a way to learn.

The higher people go up in authority, the less they listen; but they need to listen more so that they can get the facts they need; otherwise they will be resented by people.

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