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Summary: Why was Vashti so resentful? This is a word for every relationship and marriage.

I Love My Spouse Text: Esther 1:12

12 But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command brought by his eunuchs; therefore the king was furious, and his anger burned within him.

Once the Queen jumped to fulfill the needs of the king. It was love at first sight, everyone spoke of their courtship, they were head-over-heels in love. They were always together, love letters, flowers, and candy seem to flow like the mightiest rushing river. Money and time wasn’t an object, almost anything could be pushed back, so the two of them could court. Everyone said, “It’s a marriage made in heaven.” So, what happened?

When God sent His only Son it was a sacrifice, Those who became Jesus’ disciples made a life sacrifice, The woman who came to Jesus, and bathed Him with costly perfume made a sacrifice, when Jesus hung on the cross, it was all about Him being our sacrifice.

Valentines day is usually about exotic love, but before exotic love can be lasting, it has to be built on physical sacrifice.

Love cost! Love that doesn’t cost is cheap, and short lived! (An affair.)

Just as Esther made herself available by using perfumes and oils applied daily by the kings servants for almost a year. Prayer and fasting were also the norm, but Esther took this farther she stayed Spiritually fit before her God.

However, remember Vashti, the king’s first love had done all that too. Once, Vashti adored the king. Neither, were taken for granted. Vashti understood protocol, and never came before the King’s presence without being asked, she came only by request, or by the lift of the scepter.

So, why wouldn’t she come, why wouldn’t she make this one sacrifice?

I believe she felt, “taken for granted.” Remember, true lasting love requires sacrifice by both parties.

Psalm 134:1-3NKJ Behold, bless the LORD, All you servants of the LORD, Who by night stand in the house of the LORD! 2 Lift up your hands in the sanctuary, And bless the LORD. 3 The LORD who made heaven and earth Bless you from Zion!

Think about this, “What if, from this day forward, every friendship and every marriage lasted a lifetime. What kind of testimony would that become?” (Relationships require work.)

Psalm 133:1-3TM How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! It's like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, Flowing down Aaron's beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. It's like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that's where God commands the blessing, ordains eternal life.

Question, “Should ‘one’ have more fun before, or after salvation?

Just as ‘one’ comes to Church to stay connected, and Spiritually fit, ‘one,’ must apply their very best in every relationship.

Here’s the honest truth: If King Ahasuerus doesn’t keep a check on his attitude toward his second wife, Queen Esther, she will also sour, and live with open wounds.

There had to be a strong undercurrent of resentment in Queen Vashti. Resentment usually looks for ways to say,“I’ll show you.”

Here’s the remedy, Ephesians 5:22-25NLT For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

Hebrews 13:4NKJ Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. (Remain faithful in everything.)

What if my husband is unsaved? I Peter 3:1-2NLT In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

What about an unsaved wife? I Peter 3:7NLT In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

According to Doctor Gary Smalley, “Most spouses who come to him with marriage problems, have built up resentment over years. Even though he or she comes with one difficulty the underlined issues are usually mountainous.”

She might say, “He’s never home, or he doesn’t talk.” He might say, “She doesn’t give me any affection, or she never cooks.”

However, usually there’s more, maybe it’s just anger, or years of resentment, because of harsh words. Whatever it is, time can heal and make whole, if both parties will consent. (Say, sacrifice.)

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