Summary: We are divided into "Have Knots" and "Have Nots". Knot-tied or single, there are relationship principles we must know.


Pt. 1 - Knot Knowledge

In our society we tend to separate people into categories short, fat, white, black and perhaps the most common category of all is those who have knots and those with no knots. The prevailing question for someone with no knots as they approach the age of 30 is, “So when will you tie the knot?” More than physical attributes, race or any other pigeon holing attribute, characteristic, or label it seems that relationships are paramount for cataloging folks in our society. Over the course of the next few weeks I want us to examine relationships and learn some principles that will help us navigate relationships. This is important whether you are knotted or not. Why? Out of the 10 marriages that will take place tomorrow in America - 5 will end in divorce and of the 5 that make it only half of those say they have little or no intimacy of relationship at all! And of those that make it the average marriage only makes it 9.8 years. So it is obvious that knots are not working and we need to become more knotty! We need some knot knowledge!!! (Yes . . . the puns are going to be think during this series!)

So let’s start with the first knot!

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:21-25

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

1. God Now . . . Knot later.

This knot was successful because God was involved in the selection process. God created/designed/assigned and then the knot came. You must guard against selecting and then asking God to become knotted in this thing. You can’t create and then ask for blessing. He must be involved from creation. How have YOUR picks worked. How has that worked out for you? You can have the one He picks! I recognize the pool was smaller. It is harder to single out when the options are numerous. However, (Slide 11) not everyone is suitable for you. God says let me find someone suitable for Adam. That is why it is so essential to let God get involved. He can find suitable rather than just sexy! If you fail to understand this, then you will date good, good looking, sweet, etc. but not suitable.

This is why we reference the passage in Ecclesiastes 4:12 that states "a 3 stranded cord is not easily broken" used so often in weddings. The fact is God should be the 3rd party to every relationship.

Too many of us want God once the selection has already been made and our mind has been made up. I have almost come to the conclusion that premarital counseling is a waste of time because you aren’t changing your mind, I’m not changing your mind and God isn’t changing your mind. What you really need is pre-relationship counseling. What you really need is to change your selection criteria by allowing God into the process! We don’t want God involved as the selector. Well I know what I like! Like He doesn’t know what you like and more importantly need?

Our issue is trust! Our issue is control. Some of ya’ll getting the order wrong. You get naked only to discover they weren’t made for you! Adam discovers that Eve was made for him so there was no shame in their nakedness. Who has God made for you? Maybe you could find that person if you would allow God control.

We don’t trust Him enough to choose better or choose quicker than us (by the way choosing quickly is the issue some of us have)! We can’t get you to pull the trigger on any other decision except who to date/marry. In one week’s time you have fallen head over heels, shared every piece of intimate information about your life, given your heart and body away and it took you three weeks to pick out what shirt to wear with those pants! Come on. Slow down and let God run the show. Our issue is control. We refuse to give control of our life to God. We call Him Lord until it comes to love. We call Him master until it comes to marrying. We allow Him to get involved in the single most important decision of our life but want Him to come into the equation late in the game in the second most important decision we will ever make!

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