Summary: This sermon examines three lessons that are learned in the process of obeying the fifth commandment - to honor father and mother. We learn how to 1- relate to others 2- relate to ourselves 3- relate to God

Learning to Give Honor


Intro: Text= 5th commandment as recorded in --Deut. 5:16

1. Here we have an INSTRUCTION for living that’s full of promise.

How many would like for your “days to be long” and for it to “be well with you”?

Sounds like a life full of blessing & happiness.

2. The Hebrew word translated honor is “Kabad”. Its basic meaning= “Weighty”. It is a call to recognize & esteem the Value of one’s father & mother.

N.T. word Greek is “Time” (pronounced “tee-may”) which basically means value or price paid.(1)

To Honor another person is to Value that person- to respect & esteem that individual-to regard the importance of him or her.

3. The Essence of Life is our Relationship-with God, with Ourselves, and with Other people.

If that is working everything work. If that’s Not working no amount of money, fame, prestige, or anything else will make us happy.

An Essential Key to living a long, fulfilling life is right here in our text. That key is learning to give honor to others.

4. Today, we want to see how this Commandment is a Training for Life- (How it teaches us a most fundamental Lesson essential in all our Relationships).

Three Lessons Learned in the Process of Obeying 5th Command

I. We learn How to Relate to Others!

Vital to effective relationships is this giving to them appropriate Honor.

1. I’m not talking about giving Flattery. That is a terrible perversion to the real thing.

Flattery is insincere and manipulative. It is motivated entirely by Self Interest.

Scripture strongly warns us against flattery.

On other hand, we all need affirmation, encouragement, and respect.

2. The Husband/Wife Relationship is built upon mutual trust and respect.

A Wife honors her husband by expressing respect for him—a kind of awe and regard for his ability and leadership. She does not belittle him —although she knows his weaknesses better than anyone else. But she supports & encourages him and Brings out Best in him by honoring him before others and valuing him as her husband.

A Husband honors his wife by loving her and Cherishing her. That which is of great value to us we protect, we guard, we nurture. In both husband and wife we’re talking about giving honor. It’s just needed in a little different way as a general rule for each gender.(2) The husband who has learned to properly honor woman in his life will cherish her and “it will go well with him” in the home.

But, where does he learn to treat a woman like that? Hopefully from his father’s example.

He also learns it by the process of honoring his mother. “Honor your father & mother as the Lord has commanded you…”

Where does a wife learn to treat her husband with respect and high regard? In home as little girl who obeys the command “Honor your father & mother as the Lord has commanded you…”.

Parents, whether we choose to or not, we are teaching our sons and daughters how to relate to their future husband or wife. We are doing it by example and by Expecting them to obey the 5th Commandment with promise. The child who learns to honor father and mother will be well trained to cherish his wife or to respect her husband. Knowing how to give honor in the home is essential to a healthy marriage. That’s one way it “goes well with us.”

1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Here is another way goes well for us: our prayers get answered.

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding…”. What kind of understanding?

Understanding her needs, understanding how to appropriately cherish her and love her.

“…giving honor to the wife, as the weaker vessel..”—not weaker emotionally or intellectually but physically. Recognizing you are on equal ground before God as “…heirs together of the grace of life…”. We’re not saying a person can’t have a good marriage if these principles weren’t leaned as a child. But it is exceptional for that to happen.

We do our children a great service by teaching them to honor us as parents. We don’t require the respect to somehow bolster our fragile ego. We require it as a training and preparation in their life.

That means any disrespect must be addressed and corrected—not ignored—but addressed in love.

3. Now let’s broaden the application by turning to I Peter 2:17 “Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.” Here is a radical call to honor all people. Now how in the world can I do that when some of them are blasphemers, adulterers, thieves, etc.? I do it based on a world-view developed while I honored my father and mother. Does the 5th commandment say, “Honor father and mother if they deserve it”? No. There is no qualification to the command. The honor is given simply on the basis of who they are in relationship to me.

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