Summary: Love & Respect in Marriage – sermon by Gordon Curley PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request – email:


(1). Instructions to Wives (vs 22-24)

• Submit because of the Lordship of Christ (vs 22).

• Submit because of the headship of man in Christ (vs 23)

(2). Instructions to Husbands (vs 25-33)

• A husbands love should be sacrificial (vs 23)

• A husbands love should be purifying love (vs 26-27)

• A husbands love should be a caring love (vs 28-30)

• A husbands love should be an unbreakable love (vs 30-33)



Some anecdotes & quotes regarding marriage!

• Quote: Groucho Marx

• "Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?"

"Some marriages are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other."

‘The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.’

‘A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.’

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status."

Quote: Here is a sensible one from Martin Luther:

‘Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave’

We are currently working our way through the New Testament book called Ephesians:

• Ephesians is a letter in the New Testament that gives instructions;

• On how to live the Christian life.

• Originally written to the churches of Ephesus in Turkey.

• But its content is applicable to all Christians everywhere;

• Which is why we are reading and studying it today.

The section we are studying is called ‘Signs you are filled with the Holy Spirit’

• Now you may not call it that;

• And the Church website teaching plan describes the title of this talk as ‘Love & Respect’

• Other descriptions for this talk might be:

• ‘Instructions for Christian Households’

• ‘New Relationships

• ‘Relationships That Work’

• Or my favourite:

• ‘Are you sure, I’m Supposed To Love This Man/Woman?’

• TRANSITION: The reason I called it ‘Signs you are filled with the Holy Spirit’

• Is because of verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”

• In the English translation of the Bible:

• This looks like a stand-alone sentence or verse.

• But it is actually the last clause of a long sentence that Paul began in verse 18,

• And it is about the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

• Let me give you that whole sentence starting at verse 18:

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

So the apostle Paul is describing the normal Christian life:

• A Christian filled with the Holy Spirit;

• Will not be getting drunk on alcohol,

• And then using that as an excuse for immoral behaviour.

• Instead the Christian will have an attitude of praise and thanksgiving;

• And they will want to put other people before themselves!


• That the apostle Paul does not change the subject matter in verse 22;

• When he gets on to the topic of marriage.

• Please note that there is no change.

• The apostle Paul doesn't say,

• "That is enough about the Holy Spirit. Now let's talk about marriage."

• No!

• What the apostle is describing in these verses (21-33);

• With regard to the relationship of a husband and a wife,

• Is just a subheading that is part of or under the broader heading that is:

• ‘What life in the Holy Spirit looks like. ‘

• So if you are filled with the Holy Spirit of God;

• Then this is what your marriage should looks like!

• And I suppose the flipside is,

• If our marriage doesn’t look like this;

• Is it because we are not being regularly filled with the Holy Spirit!

Now in the next three paragraphs of this letter to the Ephesians:

• The apostle Paul gives to us examples of Christian submission:

• Wives are addressed first (vs 22) and are told to be subject to their husbands.

• Husbands are also addressed (vs 25) and are told to love their wives.

• Then in chapter 6 children and parents are mentioned;

• As well as slaves (workers) and masters (employees).

Now, remember the earlier connection!

• If we are filed with the Holy Spirit;

• We will display submission in our relationships with others!

• Do not miss the fact that the big picture is we are submissive to Jesus Christ;

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