Summary: Fourth in a series on anger managment
“Managing Anger God’s Way” Pt 4
Anger is an automatic
inner mental/emotional stirring
that empowers me to respond to perceived or actual events, people or circumstances
perceived as wrong, evil or threatening to my well being.
There is Spirit-generated anger and flesh-generated anger. God-centered and self-centered anger.
Spirit-generated anger accomplishes eternal purposes and should be recognized and directed.
Flesh-generated anger does not and should be refused and defused.
I. COMPREHEND ANGER
A. Understand the basic character of anger
Anger is an inner mental/emotional power surge that readies us to respond to evil. At its core, it is morally neutral. It can lead to good or evil.
B. Pinpoint the purpose of anger
The purpose of anger is to alert us and empower us to address evil; either evil lurking in our life or evil operating in the world around us. Anger motivates us to respond decisively and righteously against evil.
C. Discover the cause of anger
Anger arises out of personal beliefs, expectations and perceptions. Anger stirs when I perceive a violation of those beliefs, core values or expectations. The key to managing anger centers in our thinking. Renew your thinking – manage your anger. Anger will either be triggered by a fleshly thought process or a godly thought process. When our thinking is godly, anger becomes a godly tool that can be directed for godly purposes.
D. Consider the consequences of fleshly anger
E. Follow the course of anger (circle of emotion)
1. Anger begins in the soul (beliefs, expectations, perceptions)
2. Anger is automatically triggered by an event
perceived as evil, hurtful or threatening
3. Anger requires strategic personal reflection and evaluation
4. Anger prompts a chosen response or action
F. Address the soul issues that stir and intensify anger’s manifestation
Certain unaddressed issues in our life will stir or at least intensify angry thought and emotions.
1. Unaddressed Sin -- Guilt
2. Doubt / Fear / Independence
3. Self-centered focus
4. Bitterness / Unforgiveness
5. Demonic Strongholds
6. Old Ruts or Patterns of response
G. Consider the conduct (expression) of anger
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Prov 15:28
What do we do with our angry thoughts and emotions? We must do something about the emotional red light.
Never healthy to deny them. “I’m not angry!”
Never healthy to bury them or internalize them. “I shouldn’t be angry!”
Never healthy to express them without a godly purpose.
Expressions of anger are either active aggressive or passive aggressive. One is obvious and overt. The other is not so obvious and covert. Flesh-generated angers seek to punish, control or avoid the “evil doer” in some way.
Self-centered anger manifests in a variety of ways.
Biting tone or edge
Physical or emotional withdrawal
As you can see, anger is not always expressed by an overt outburst.
II. Control anger
The key to anger control is taking time for honest reflection. Only respond AFTER deliberate and honest reflection. Our goal must be to direct godly anger to address the evil that triggered the anger. Our goal must be to defuse fleshly anger triggered by the flesh.
A. Reflect on beliefs, expectations and perceptions
Since anger stems from our beliefs, expectations and perceptions, the primary control point will be to continually evaluate and adjust or affirm those beliefs, expectations and perceptions.
I need to continually evaluate whether my convictions and beliefs line up with Scripture.
When they do, I affirm my beliefs. When they don’t, I must continually adjust my beliefs so that they do. What is God’s standard? What does the Bible say about it? What is the Biblical response? How did Jesus respond?
Do I embrace some basic anger controlling beliefs?
1. My longing for love and acceptance is and can only be realized through vital relationship with God.
People cannot fully satisfy my deepest longing for acceptance
2. My longing for significance is and can only be realized through my identification with Christ.
Power and prestige cannot fully satisfy my deepest longing for significance.
3. My longing for holiness will only be realized through relationship with Jesus Christ.
Performance through he flesh cannot fully satisfy my longing to be righteous
4. I have been uniquely called to minister to the needs of others by proclaiming God’s truth and expressing God’s love.
We are called to minister to the needs of others not manipulate others to meet my needs.
5. We live in a fallen world where all systems are subject to the law of deterioration.
Things will always break down and people will always fail sooner or later.
6. Struggle or tribulation in our life leads to spiritual maturity.