Summary: This is the third message in the truth series dealing with Marital lies that often ruin marriages
Truth Series #3
CHCC – July 10, 2011
Marital wisdom from 8 – 10 year old kids:
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
• On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
• No person decides who they’re going to marry until they grow up. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
• You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
• It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
• Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Today we’re going to talk about some of the marriage lies that we tend to believe. One of the most common ones is:
1. Marriage is supposed to make me happy …
This LIE has some truth mixed in it … because a good marriage DOES bring happiness. There’s nothing better than a happy marriage …
• it gives companionship, comfort, and fun …
• it provides a healthy environment for raising children …
• it brings blessings to the couple and everyone around them.
Statistics consistently show that people in a stable marriage gain all kinds of benefits from marriage.
But the ironic thing is that if you make personal happiness your GOAL, then your marriage probably can’t thrive. Here’s why: Marriage could be defined as: “two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults, for the rest of their lives.”
How can this work? The answer is: only by the grace of God. And that’s the point. A happy, lasting marriage requires that we live in connection with Jesus Christ … exhibiting grace, forgiveness, endurance, and radical unselfishness.
Before I go any further, I want to give some ground rules for listening to this sermon. Marriage is a painful topic for a lot of people. Probably everyone here has been affected in some way by divorce. --- Whether it was in your own past, or your parents or your friends and family members. When it comes to marriage, there are all kinds of difficult situations.
When it comes to the topic of marriage it’s easy to fall into the trap of either condemning yourself for failure, or of condemning other people for their failures. These are examples of the LIES we talked about during the last 2 weeks. Don’t listen to Satan’s lies while you’re listening to this sermon!
No matter what is in your past, remember the TRUTH of Romans 8:1 - There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Replace Satan’s lies with the TRUTH of Philippians 3:13-14 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Apply what you hear today to your PRESENT circumstance … think about how you can glorify God in your life and family … starting today.
I read a book a while back called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. He started the book by saying, “I think most of us who have been married for any substantial length of time realize that the romantic roller-coaster of romance eventually evens out to the terrain of a Midwest interstate --- long flat stretches with an occasional overpass. When this happens, couples respond in different ways. Many will break up their relationship and try to recreate the passionate romance with someone else. Other couples will descend into a sort of marital gorilla warfare, a passive-aggressive power play as each partner blames the other for personal dissatisfaction or lack of excitement.” (p. 16)
The LIE that Marriage is supposed to make me happy is usually based on a shallow ideal of romantic love. But the problem is, Romantic love has no elasticity – if you stretch it, it simply shatters.
In C.S. Lewis’ book, Screwtape Letters, he has a section where demons discuss how easy it is to destroy human marriages because humans believe that marriage is based on feelings of romantic love. Screwtape says, These humans “regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion.”
Unfortunately many people go into marriage expecting an extended adolescence full of non-stop excitement and passion. Very few people think of marriage as a truly sacred relationship.
A lot of people are like the girl who sent a picture of herself to her fiancé with this inscription: “My dearest Tom, I love you with all my heart… I love you more & more each day… I will love you forever & ever… I am yours for all eternity…” It was signed “Diane,” and it contained a P.S.: “If we ever break up, I want this picture back…”