Summary: Marriage is about commitment. About being filled with Godly wisdom and Godly submission.

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So what do you think? Fair deal? That word commitment – it’ll get you everytime!

So what do you want out of marriage?

Is it what you expected when you made those famous vows?

Lastly, what are you willing to do to make it all God wants it to be?

ILL: Christian Globe says this in regards to Commitment in Marriage:

Back in 1870’s there was one divorce for every 34 marriages.

By 1900, one in five marriages ended in divorce.

Today, one out of every two marriages ends in divorce

I think you would agree that there’s a problem somewhere. I wonder if it could be because we expect it to be that fairy tale only to find out it’s the hardest thing we will ever do.

And truly, if there is one thing I have learned – it’s exactly that. If my marriage is going to be worth a flip, I’ve had to accept it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tackled! How about you? And it is because of my expectations of the word ‘Commitment’

Our study of Ephesians brings us to this subject of marriage in a round of bout way. Actually as we saw last week, he does discuss marriage but in line with a deeper subject.

A. Last week, we saw that Paul’s actual command was:

1. “Be Filled With The Spirit” (VERSE 18b)

a. Submitting to One Another (VERSE 21)

b. Paul addressing the 3 Household Codes (VERSE 22/3, 6:1, 6:5)

c. Saw God’s Intention: Woman – not man/animal & to be a helper

2. 1st Household Code: Marriage

1. Looked at two words, Submission and Headship.

Submission – In subjection to another

Headship – To lead (Not Over/Under)

B. This Week – The Commitment It Takes to follow God’s Way of Marriage.

Screen: What Paul is showing in this section is 2 Keys to a Successful Marriage: Commitment to God and Commitment to Each Other

1. All of Chapter 5 walk the calling… we must the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

2. We can’t do marriage God’s way unless we are off the throne.

3. Are you willing? What’s your marriage worth?

4. Committed to The Lord Jesus; Committed to your Spouse for the Long Haul

When you got married, you made a commitment. What did it mean?



VERSE 22-24

First, that word submission. From vs. 21:

“submit – as to the Lord” – Not because you must – but because you love him.

A. Why? Verses 23/4 tell you.

As the Lord is head of church – husband is head of home

As the Lord saves and protects (Savior) the church – so is husband is to save and protector the wife

“as the church is subject to Christ” in everything so the wife is …subject to husband…everything.

1. It’s not an over/under relationship.

The Lord doesn’t force Himself

He doesn’t lord Himself

Instead, he gave Himself.

2. And the church, because of the Lord’s love for it, loves the Father & is obedient– in everything.

John 14.15 we keep because we love (not because we must – we want)

3. So the wife – because of the husbands love – will follow – will be subjective (v. 24) in everything.

Pr. 31:12 “she does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

1 Ti. 3:11 “likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.”

The wife, as the helpmate God intended for her to be is to love, encourage, lift up, support, and recognize the husband as the head of the home.


Now, husbands, let’s talk about your role in the home. You are to be (as we saw in 22-24) the head of the wife. Let’s look closely at what that means.

A. First, notice it’s “AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”

VERSE 25-27

He begins – first thing –to love our wives.

25- “Love your wives”, 28- “love their own wives”, & 33- “so love his own wife”

“as Christ loved the church”- Verse 25

A love that places her worth above your worth!

Phil 2.6 “being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself nothing”

Headship is NOT an Over/Under relationship.

Vs. 26 - “that He might sanctify (set apart) and cleanse her” – “he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot (perfect) and without blemish”

Oh What A Comparison!

1. Christ: Gave of Himself – so that he sanctified the church and cleansed the church (the body of Christ) – All that is taking place right now is preparing the church to one day be presented back to Christ as the bride of Christ.

2. Husband (Now the comparison to husband) – To give of himself (as Christ did) – taking his wife just as she is – with all her faults or imperfections (as Christ took you), he places his wife as the top – of his life (without fault – unconditional).

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