Summary: Discusses how we receive/accept our spouses.
I Receive You
Last week, we talked about the fact that all of us have areas where we tend to be very selfish in our marriage. These are the areas that make us think we are not able to build oneness with our spouse. This message focuses on how we accept the gift that God has given us and what that means.
As a frame of reference, think about the last time that you received a gift that you really wanted. You let it be known that if you received a gift like that it would really be appreciated. Do you remember how you thought about the gift, planned how you would use it and the benefits you gained from it? Then came the day when you actually got the gift. Remember how excited and thankful you were? Remember how you treasured the gift? Okay keep this in mind as I share with you the rest of this message. Remember the goal in our marriage is to make two into one. That is God’s desire for us.
We are all different yet when we marry we are expected to merge two very different people into one – a partnership. The first step in building the oneness is to receive our spouse. This means we accept the differences that are between us. We cannot fully receive our spouse if we do not accept what makes us both unique. We are wired differently from our spouse and that needs to be understood and accepted in order for them to receive us. Before I move on, I want to refresh your memory. Genesis 2:18 says “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” (NIV) God knew and understood Adam and knew exactly what he needed. Remember what Matthew 10:30 says? “And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (NIV) Why is it important that you understand this? If one should fall, we would say a hair fell out. God would say, hair #134 fell out of Rodney’s head today. That is how well He knows us – how well he knew Adam. God was very capable of creating someone suitable for Adam. So when He created Eve, He gave Adam a gift that was “suitable” for him – someone who would understand him and help him fulfill what God had called him to do. God created someone who was suitable for Adam because He knew and understood Adam. He did not make a replica of Adam. If Adam just needed help to do the manual things in the Garden God could have created another man. Adam needed more than that and God gave him a true partner. When God brought Eve to Adam, Adam received and accepted her. If you marry the person that God chooses for you, then you know that this person has the potential to fully become suitable for you. It does not happen overnight, but if the right choices are made, it can happen.
Do you know and understand how you are wired? Do you know and understand how your spouse is wired? Have you considered the differences between the two of you? Let me walk you through some opposites as an example. As I go through these I want you to think which is you and which is your spouse. It will not be uncommon for you and your spouse to share one. For the kids, think about your parents and how you view them as well as how you view yourself.
A. Introverts and Extroverts
• Introverts: They think before they speak and usually say little. They prefer a few close friends rather than many acquaintances.
• Extroverts: derive energy from interaction with people. Enjoys working and playing on a team. Usually has many friends and spends much of their time with others.
B. Sensers and Intuitives
• Sensers: Very practical. Tend to base their reality on facts, facts and more facts. They have their feet firmly planted in reality. Giving little thought to what might have been or what may be in the future, they focus on what really happened or what is.
• Intuitives: Very innovative. For them, what is can always be improved upon. Their vague sense of dissatisfaction with reality propels them towards change. The future intrigues them far more than the past or present.
C. Thinkers and Feelers
• Thinkers: They take a logical approach to life, preferring to let their heads rule. They tend to be cool and calculated, cut and dried. They concern themselves with right and wrong, with goals, with efficiency.
• Feelers: Prefer to let their hearts rule. They feel deeply themselves and empathize easily with how others feel. They tend to base their decisions on how their choices will affect others.