Summary: Jesus always being present.
NEWSFLASH – Jerusalem day 3 A.D. – Panic at Passover. As reported to the Jerusalem Starry Times – The body of the prophet known as Jesus, son of Joseph, the wandering prophet who was executed by crucifixion last Friday appears to be missing from the tomb it was laid in. More amazingly then that several of his disciples are concocting an incredible story that in fact the body is not actually missing but that Jesus has risen from the dead. Roman authorities are searching out these disciples to administer blood and psychiatric testing. A source speaking on the condition of anonymity has stated that should these individuals be found to be intoxicated or high they will be locked away until their actions can be properly dealt with. The commandant of Pilot’s elite Roman Guard has stated that that charges of inciting a public riot are not out of the question.
The following is a press release just received from the Office of the Governor – the Honorable Pontius Pilate (he who turned Jesus over for crucifixion) –
You will have no doubt heard some rumors floating around Jerusalem at this time about this man Jesus.
I want to state on the record and quite categorically that whatever might have happened – and we don’t know whether anything has happened – but if it has, which it might have, then it has, in all probability nothing to do with me.
I wasn’t even here at the time it happened, if it did happen. I’m not entirely sure where I was, but I was probably a long way from here making very tough decisions which I’m very good at, actually.
Signed – Everybody’s friend, Pontius Pilate.
(Letter taken from “The Tabloid Bible”
A source within the Governor’s mansion, again speaking on the condition of anonymity, has informed us that when Pilate was initial told of these reports he completely lost it – throwing his almost full goblet of very expensive 75 B.C. red Gathsemene Grape Delight wine against the wall while shout, NOT HIM AGAIN.
Oh yes, that first Easter Sunday did anything but calm those who were wondering what to do next with their lives. Ten of Jesus’ chosen twelve were huddled away in fear, behind locked doors, Thomas was probably off mourning in private, when the unthinkable happened. Jesus appears in the midst of them. In his calming voice he simply says, “Peace be with you.” In fact with his presence there one would think that would have given them all the peace they could have asked for. He proved it was him by showing the very visible signs of his death. I am sure this must have given them some peace, but his next words may have taken it away. “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” Can you just imagine their thoughts at that moment. You mean you want us to go out into the public? Don’t you realize that the authorities are looking for us? I’m afraid of needles, and I don’t want just anyone drawing my blood out of me, never know when I might need it. Besides, you never know who, or what, was last stuck with the silly thing.