Summary: Part 6 of our series ’The Home as God Intended’ will focus on Love and Discipline in the home and how important it is to our childrens upbringing.

The Home as God Intended

Part 6 – Love and Discipline

First Baptist Church of Tawas City Michigan

Rev. Bruce A. Shields



One of the toughest things we have to do as parents is discipline our children.

But it also one of the most important things we do for our children.

Today we will examine love and discipline, what it is and what some of the elements are that enable discipline to work.

Then we will look at Eli, a man who did not have the courage to discipline his children and the tragic results of this.

1. What is discipline?

Well before we look at what discipline is, let’s look at what it is not.

• Discipline is NOT punishment. Although punishment may be involved in discipline.

When we understand that punishment itself is not discipline, it will change the way that we discipline our children.

We will understand that discipline serves more of a purpose than getting our kids to mind or not embarrass us in public.

If discipline is not punishment, then what is it?

Discipline refers to the process by which one learns a way of life.

A discipline is like an apprentice who is learning a trade or craft from a master.

Such learning would require a relationship between the master who knew the way of life (or discipline) and a learner (a disciple).

Within this relationship, the master led the learner through a process (the discipline) until the learner could imitate or live like the master.

Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

The NIV Bible translates the original Greek word here {Paideia – ‘pahee-di’-ah’} or discipline to mean training and instruction.

This passage tells us that we are to raise our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Discipline is training. If you use the example of craftsman and an apprentice, the craftsman teaches his craft to the apprentice.

Everything he does is for the purpose of making the apprentice a craftsman.

Discipline in a parent child relationship is the parent teaching the child the way of life.

Discipline is setting the boundaries for which a person will live.

TV is constantly giving us a picture that the children know more than the parents.

Whenever we allow our children to dictate what happens in the home, we are not only hurting ourselves, but we are hurting the development of our children.

Our children need us to teach them about life.

Remember that the purpose of the family is to glorify God and to teach the next generation about Jesus.

We are laying the foundation for our children to be successful adults who love Jesus.

• Purpose of discipline.

Hebrews 12:10-11

“Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

The purpose of discipline is not to control the children like robots, instead, training them to be the person that God created them to be.

We want them to be God loving functioning adults, who in turn will produce the same.

1 Timothy 4:8

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”


Godliness which is learned here in this present life will also carry over to the life to come.

Discipline is to strengthen and restore, not to condemn or destroy.

Deuteronomy 5:33

“Walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.”


2. What are some elements of discipline?

If discipline is going to fulfill its purpose, which is to instruct in a way of life, what needs to be present for it to work?

Here are a few common sense elements that need to exist for our discipline to work.

• The first thing that we need is love.

Parents do not discipline because they enjoy it, but they do it because they love their children.

A parent who will not discipline their children does not love them the way God wants them to.

Hebrews 12:6-8

“because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.”

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