The Anatomy of Faith: The Tongue
This evotional is part of The Anatomy of Faith series. To watch the webcast, visit www.theaterchurch.com. For more thoughts on life and leadership, visit www.markbatterson.com.
A number of years ago I read a story titled The Whisper Test. A woman named Mary Ann Bird writes about the defining moment of her childhood:
I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled speech. When schoolmates asked, “What happened to your lip” I’d tell them I’d fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me. There was, however, a teacher in the second grade who we all adore—-Mrs. Leonard by name. She was short, round, and happy--a sparkling lady. Annually we had a hearing test. Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back--things like: “The sky is blue” or “Do you have new shoes?” I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper, “I wish you were my little girl.”
“Those seven words that changed my life.”
Seven words! That’s incredible isn’t? That’s all it took. Seven words can change someone’s life. That is the power of the tongue.
As kids, most of us learned a little saying: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That’s one of the falsest truisms I know. Sticks and stones may break our bones and hurt us physically. But words are much more hurtful emotionally and they leave longer and deeper scars.
I remember meeting a guy when I was in seminary. His life was totally messed up because he had done some stupid stuff and made some stupid decisions. Guess what his dad called him growing up? His nickname was stupid.
Words are prophecies. They have a powerful impact on the people around us—for better or for worse. So it’s no wonder the Bible talks so much about the tongue.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Proverbs 12:18 says, “A reckless word pierces like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
“A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit”—Proverbs 15:4
“A gentle tongue can break a bone”—Proverbs 25:15
“The tongue of the righteous is choice silver”—Proverbs 10:20
One of the most insightful verses in Scripture is Matthew 12:34. Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
Jesus was saying that words are clues. They reveal our thoughts and feelings. They reveal who we are.
This week I was playing a little baseball with Josiah. He’s got a fat bat. And I was pitching him a whiffle ball. He had a lot of swing and misses, but he finally connected with one of my pitches. And he got pretty excited about it. I said, “Josiah, you crushed it.” He said, “I know. Jesus helped me.”
It was totally out of right field. Pun intended. It was one of those where did that come from moments. But it was so cool to see into his heart. I felt like those words gave me a glimpse of what was going on inside of Josiah.
Words are clues.
There has been a lot of talk in the last few days about the plays that Seung-Hui Cho wrote. Most of us have seen excerpts. They spewed venom. They were violent. They were hateful. And hindsight is 20/20, but those words revealed what was in his heart long before he killed thirty-two people on the Virginia Tech campus.
In some respects, controlling out tongue is one of our greatest challenges.
James 3:2 says, “We all make mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way.”
Here is a profound thought. And then I want to get practical.
Every word you’ve ever said is still a sound wave that is traveling through space. According to physicists, if we had the right equipment we could recapture everything you’ve ever said. Everything you’ve ever said is somewhere in space.
That is true of the first words ever spoken. In Genesis 1, God said, “Let there be light.” And according to the Doppler Effect, the universe is still expanding. How amazing is that? Those first words that God spoke calling the universe into existence are still creating new galaxies billions of light-years away!
This has profound implications when it comes to the judgment.
In Matthew 12:36-37, Jesus said:
But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Juxtapose that with Revelation 6.
I watched as the Lamb broke the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The sun became as dark as black cloth, and the moon became as red as blood. Then the stars of the sky fell to the earth like green figs falling from trees shaken by mighty winds. And the sky was rolled up like a scroll and taken away.
The sky was rolled up like a scroll.
Maybe that isn’t figurative? Maybe that is literal?
And I have this mixed reaction. It’s a little scary because all of us have said things we want stricken from the record. And the good news is that when God forgives God forgets. And somehow those sound waves cease to exist.
But on the positive side of the equation, it’s pretty amazing that every prayer you’ve ever prayed is still somewhere in the universe. Our prayers are eternal. Our sound waves outlive us and outlast us. And I know that the prayers of my loved ones that have passed on are still being answered in my life!
What I’m trying to say is this: the tongue is powerful. And we need to manage our mouths in a way that honors God.
Verbalization
Ephesians 4:25-29 says,
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
This week I shared seven expectations with our staff in team meeting. Let me share one of them with you. I expect our team to verbalize frustration rather than internalize it.
Here is what most of us do. Instead of verbalizing our frustration, we internalize it. We repress it. We let the sun go down on our anger. And then we get so angry we have to verbalize it. And we do it the wrong way. Instead of going to that person and confronting the issue, we verbalize our frustrations to other people. And it turns into gossip or back-biting. And it just compounds the problem.
I don’t pretend to understand the psyche of Sueng-Hui Cho. But the thing I found interesting was that everyone described him as quiet. He obviously internalized a lot of pain and anger over the last few years.
I think we’d be a lot healthier people and our work environments and home environments would be a lot healthier if we simply learned to verbalize our frustrations in a graceful and truthful way.
Over the years I’ve had my fair share of tough conversations. Let me share a couple of biblical paradigms that have helped me navigate those conversations.
The first passage is Proverbs 26:4-5.
When arguing with fools, don’t answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are.
When arguing with fools, be sure to answer their foolish arguments, or they will become wise in their own eyes.
These two back-to-back verses used to cause tremendous angst because those two verses are absolutely contradictory. And they are right next to each other.
One verse says don’t answer them. They next verse says answer them. I used to hate that. How can that be? But now I love it. You know what those proverbs are saying? As long as you’re dealing with a fool, it’s a no win situation. You can’t win. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say. There are some people that are impossible.
I know that is discouraging on one level. But isn’t that freeing on another level? It’s not you. It’s them.
Grace and Truth
There are some no win situations. And some people have an easier time hearing the truth than others. But let me share with you my personal technique that I came up with about ten years ago that has really helped me have a lot of tough conversations. When I have to confront an issue, I usually frame it with John 1:14.
I’ll simply say that John 1:14 says that Jesus was full of grace and truth. He was the perfect combination of those two dimensions of spirituality. Grace means I’m going to love you no matter what. Truth means I’m going to be honest with you no matter what.
It is a way for me to say: this is really tough for me to tell you, but I’m telling you because you love you.
This is not a license to run over people. And you need to really pray about how to approach these subjects. You need to pray that God will guide you and set up the right scenario. It’s all about timing!
Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man finds joy in an apt reply—how good is a timely word.”
You’ve got to think about it and pray about it. But then you need to the courage to have the conversation.
The bottom line: don’t let the sun go down. Don’t internalize your anger or frustration. Verbalize it in a truthful and graceful way. If you need to have a tough conversation, have it.
When I look back on my life, it is the people who had the courage to confront that I really respect. They cared enough to have a tough conversation with me.
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
The Gift of Encouragement
I’ve got a file on my computer and a file in my desk filled with emails and notes of encouragement. I never throw one away. I keep them all. I don’t think it’s just me. Encouragement is to human spirit what oxygen is to the lungs. It is amazing how one note or one compliment or one thank you can fuel the human spirit for a long time!
I honestly think Ephesians 4:29 is one of the most powerful principles in Scripture. If we really lived this out, it would revolutionize churches and families and workplaces.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The word “unwholesome” is the same word used to describe rotten food. Rotten food will make you sick, but rotten words and rotten attitudes are much worse because the effects are longer-lasting.
The word “benefit” is the Greek word for gift. We need to view our words as gifts. And it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
According to Laurie Beth Jones, 40% of our lives are based on personal prophecies. I’m not sure how you quantify that kind of claim. But it has a ring of truth to it. In fact, it might be a conservative estimate! Jones says, “The true spirit of prophecy is encouraging the people around us to see themselves as God sees them.”
When I was a teenager, a guest missionary named Chris Smith spoke at church one Wednesday night. After the message I went up to the altar to pray. Chris Smith put his hand on me and didn’t just pray, he prophesied over me. Just one sentence. If I told you what he said you’d say, “Big deal!” It would sound anti-climatic. But it was a big deal to me, and still is. There have been numerous occasions when I’ve been discouraged or frustrated and the Holy Spirit has jogged my memory and whispered those prophetic words in my ear. Immediately, I’m encouraged. It gives me the courage to keep going.
We don’t talk about them much, but we need to the gifts of the spirit if we’re really going to reach out potential and become everything God wants us to be. Scripture talks about the word of wisdom and word of knowledge. It talks about the word of prophecy. We need God to use us in those ways. There is nothing like knowing that God is speaking through you!
Confession and Profession
Let me close talking about two of the most powerful uses of the tongue: confession and profession.
There is an old saying: confession is good for the soul. It allows us to process. Satan wants us to keep out secrets. But there is a great freedom when we confess our sin. There is great freedom when we verbalize our sin.
When we confess our sin, it loses its grip. You can confess your sin directly to God. Jesus Christ is our mediator. I think it’s healthy to actually verbalize via the spoken word or written word. And I honestly think we need a little more specificity. Praying “forgive me for everything I’ve ever done wrong” is weak. I think we need to identify our sin—the pride, the lust, the greed, the anger, the lies, the words, the actions. We need to confess our sin. And I honestly think that the degree to which you feel forgiven depends upon the level of specificity.
Now let me talk about professing our faith.
Revelation 12:10 says:
For the Accuser has been thrown down to earth—the one who accesed our brothers and sisters before God day and night. And they have defeated him because of the blood of the lamb and because of the word of their testimony.
Our testimony is powerful.
Let me give you a couple definitions.
Worship is bragging about God to God.
Evangelism is bragging about God to others.
When was the last time your professed your faith?
The best evangelism is the natural overflow of what God is doing in your life. You’re simply talking about what God is doing. You speak out of a full heart.
Maybe for some of you it is starting at ground zero. Almost like repeating your vows at a wedding, a relationship with Christ starts with a vow of sorts. It is a public profession of our faith.
Romans 10:9-10 says, “If confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you shall be saved.”
Over the centuries, millions of Christians have repeated The Apostle’s Creed as a way of professing their faith.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven
and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
Amen.
