The Father’s Influence
[Proverbs 22:6]
Introduction
Today is June 17. The world is celebrating this day as Father’s Day, giving tribute and honor to the most important and influential person in the family – The Father.
I would say that behind the success of the family, is the Father - The father who have a sanctifying influence on his family. He will encourage the growth of the family. He will diligently instruct the child the right way to go. Fathers should help the child discover and develop his/her talents.
Our text Proverbs 22:6 issue a sensible proclamation: “Train up the child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Now, since we celebrate this day, a Father’s Day, let us examined this piece of advice from King Solomon, himself a father.
First, “train up the child.” – King Solomon emphasizes the need to train a child. We have to remember that children do not raise themselves. Rather, they need our love, support, and Christ- centered guidance of godly parents. We have to help them discover their gifts and how to use them for the glory of God.
But sadly, we have heard or read of reports fathers failed in their duties to raise up their children well. We have heard about children been sent to labor force. We have heard about children been mistreated even by his/her own family. We have even heard of physical or sexual abused. So tragic!
Fathers should be actively involved in the development of their children. Remember children are born with a definite bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong. So, we need to guide them, train them up. If then you want to be wise in dealing with your child, then you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will.
It must not be his tendencies and wishes that are favored. He does not yet know what is good for his mind and soul, any more than what is good for his body. You do not let him decide what he will eat, and what he will drink, and how he will be clothed. Be consistent, and deal with his mind in the same manner. Train him in the way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that he thinks is right.
Illustration: At age 12, I explain to my son why a christian should marry only those of the same faith.
Train your child with tender affection, love, humility and patience. We don’t have to be harsh to them. We don’t have to bruise our child self-image.
In Ephesians 6:4, we read: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but brings them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
It’s means we don’t have to instill harsh discipline that doesn’t match the degree of the offense. I know we might be guilty of having giving disciplinary action to our child that is beyond the degree of the offense. We have to be careful. However, it doesn’t mean we have to spoil them. No! That’s further from the truth. What is meant is that you let him realized that you love him/her.
Love should be the golden thread that runs through all your actions in dealing with the child. Kindness, gentleness, tolerance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys—these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily—these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart.
Try hard to maintain your child’s affections. It is a dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you.
There is a great deal of truth in the Apostle’s words to the Colossians: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. [Colossians 3:21] Do not ignore his advice.
Second, the proverb refers to “the way he should go.” – What is this way? Jesus Christ declared, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” (John 14:6) It says here, that we should be intentional and diligent enough to present the Gospel message to our child. The soul of our children should be our concern. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny.
To love the soul is to really love.
Then we have to train them to study the Bible.
See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
See that they read it regularly. Train them to regard it as their soul’s daily food—as something essential to their soul’s daily health. I well know that you cannot make this anything more than a form; but there is no telling the amount of sin which a mere form may indirectly restrain.
Tell them of sin, its guilt, its consequences, its power, its vileness: you will find they can comprehend this.
Tell them of the Lord Jesus Christ, and His work for our salvation—the atonement, the cross, the blood, the sacrifice, the intercession: you will discover that it is not beyond them to understand.
Tell them of the work of the Holy Spirit in man’s heart, how He changes, and renews, and sanctifies, and purifies.
Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while they are young.
Train them to have a habit of prayer.
Prayer is the distinction of all real Christians. They pray—for they tell God their needs, their feelings, their desires, their fears; and they mean what they say. The person who is a Christian in name only may repeat prayers over and over, but he goes no further. Prayer is the turning-point in a man’s soul. Our ministry is unprofitable, and our labor is in vain, until you are brought to your knees. Till then, we have no hope for you.
Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies within your power to train them to have a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them that if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, if they never call on the name of the Lord.
Train them to be faithful and regular in attending church and the Lord’s Supper.
Train them to have a habit of faith.
Train them to have a habit of obedience.
Train them to have a habit of always speaking the truth.
Third is the crucial phrase, “when he is old.” – This implies that there must be a time in your child’s young life when he seems not to care about the values you have tried to instill in him/her. Therefore, we must remain in constant prayer for our children, asking God to help them remember the lessons taught to them in their youth.
We have to continually nurturing our children. That’s spending a lot of time with them. Nurturing is a natural, daily part of life.
We need to “teach them diligently” when we “sit in [our] house and when [we] walk by the way and when [we] lie down and when [we] rise up.” (Deut. 6:7)
So, when we nurture we set aside our own agendas, patiently helping develop their gifts and find ways to use them for God’s purpose.
Quotable quote: “You can mold a mannerism, but you must chisel a character.” – Anonymous.
Conclusion
Are we kind of fathers, uncles, or grandfathers that can stand up to this challenge to raise godly children? Pray for God’s help in leading the children in your life toward a relationship with Him.
As a father, what challenges do you face as you train up your child?
If you ever wish that your children would be the restorers of your life, and the nourishers of your old age—if you want them to have blessings and not curses—joys and not sorrows: if this is your wish, then remember Solomon’s advice, train them while they are young, and in the right way.
