Compiled by: Herman Abrahams (Pastor), Cornerstone Faith Ministries, P.O. Box 740, Westridge 7802, Rep. of South Africa.
E-Mail: Mentorship2003@yahoo.co.uk
Note to the reader:
If you have been blessed with this sermon compilation, I would be honoured to receive an e-mail from you simply stating where in the world you are based; I do not need any other information. This is merely so that I can have the pleasure of giving thanks to Almighty God, that all over the globe, the ministry which he has entrusted to me, is blessing the body of Christ and helping to extend the Kingdom of God.
Thank you.
Herman Abrahams,
Cape Town, South Africa.
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Primary Bibliography: (‘The Healthy Christian Life’ Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, Richard Meier & Don Hawkins, BAKER BOOK HOUSE)
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HOW TO HANDLE ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY
Ephesians 4:26-27; Leviticus 19:17-18
EPHESIANS 4:26-27
Eph 4:26 “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
Eph 4:27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
LEVITICUS 19:17-18
Lev 19:17 “ ‘Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.
Lev 19:18 “ ‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
There is anger that is valid and also an anger that is invalid. Before we move on to the proper way of handling anger, let’s consider invalid anger for a moment .
There are times when we feel angry, because what we perceived to have been a personal right that was violated, was not a valid right at all. Our "right" was based on selfish demands or on perfectionist standards. In these circumstances , it’s best to yield such perceived rights to God. This type of anger should not be addressed with an offender since there is, in fact, no valid offender.
ILLUSTRATION
For example, a father is reading his newspaper when his small son jumps up into his lap and tugs at the bottom of the paper, wanting his father’s attention. The father feels a surge of anger within. Why? He at first perceives that his right to read the paper without being disturbed is being violated. On second thought (if he is a good father), he realizes that this is not a valid right in light of the circumstances. It originates in a selfish motivation. Of course his son is more important than reading the paper, so he yields his per¬ceived right to God, and the feeling of anger dissipates. (‘The Healthy Christian Life’ Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, Richard Meier & Don Hawkins, BAKER BOOK HOUSE)
When feelings of anger come to you, don’t react immediately by expressing any words or actions. Stop! Think! Is your anger valid? Then deal with it scripturally. If your anger is not valid, let it go. Give it to God by confessing it as a sin and thank him for giving you the wisdom to tell the difference!
Now we will look at three things to do with anger that will lead to its proper resolution in your life.
1. THE FIRST THING TO DO IS VERBALIZE YOUR ANGRY FEELINGS.
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God’s Word teaches us to confront our offender if possible.
(Matthew 18:15-17).
A BROTHER WHO SINS AGAINST YOU
Mt 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Mt 18:16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
Mt 18:17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
It is important to stand up for yourself and for what you believe is right, as long as you do so without feelings of vengeance or of getting even. Neither should you imply that you will seek to retaliate in the future.
A) To verbalize is to turn your angry feelings into words. Tell the person exactly what you feel. In doing so, you are not attacking him but confessing your own feelings. Emphasize an "I feel" message rather than a "you" accusation or a "why" question. For example, "I felt very hurt and angry when you belittled me in front of all those people."
B) Sometimes when the offender cannot be confronted directly, it is helpful to write out your feelings in a letter which you can either send to him or might decide to just throw away. This allows you to verbalize your feelings, but in written form, which takes the potentially de¬structive energy out of them.
ILLUSTRATION
David did this in some of the Psalms. He even wrote some angry words to God—look at the first part of
Psalm 13.
Ps 13:1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
Ps 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Ps 13:3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
Ps 13:4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
Ps 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Ps 13:6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
Have you ever been angry with God (Psalm 13 vs 1-4)? Share your feelings with him. You will then be able to think more clearly about his mercy and love (Psalm 13 vs 5-6), which are always at work behind the scenes.
2. THE SECOND THING TO DO WITH ANGER IS COMMIT TO GOD ALL YOUR FEELINGS OF GETTING EVEN.
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"’It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord" (Rom. 12:19b). Sometimes forgiving someone, especially someone who isn’t sorry, seems like you are ignoring yourself and your feelings. It makes you think, "Hey don’t I count? Should I just pretend it didn’t happen?"
The thing to do is to turn over the matter to the highest power in the universe, God Himself. He has promised to deal with offenders in the way he sees as best. Leave that up to God by cleansing your mind of thoughts of revenge. Don’t play God. In a prayer say, "Dear Lord, I give up any personal right to get even with so and so. I turn the matter over to you. I know you will do the right thing."
3. THE THIRD THING TO DO WITH YOUR ANGER IS TO FORGIVE THE OFFENDER.
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A functional description of forgiveness includes adopting the following attitude.
‘By the choice of my will, not my feelings, I choose not to bring up these issues to (the offender) again. They are dead. I will not bring them up to others in the form of gossip either. Nor will I bring them up in my own meditations. I can remember what happened, but I will not brood over the past. If my thoughts begin to focus on those past hurts, I will stop them and replace them with positive thoughts about the good things in my present life. If the person who offended me has repented, I will look for ways to eventually rebuild a friend¬ship. If not, I will still treat him as a forgiven person, even if my feelings send me contrary messages.
I will choose to be loyal to my faith and stand by my choice to forgive. The hurts may come back from time to time for many months, but I will not act on my feelings at those moments. Instead, I will reaffirm my choice to forgive, even if I have to do it every day for a long time. My feelings will eventually catch up with my faith and my hurts will heal in time.’ (‘The Healthy Christian Life’ Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, Richard Meier & Don Hawkins, BAKER BOOK HOUSE)
IN SUMMARY
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What should you do with your anger?
• Verbalize your feelings,
• Commit the offender to God, and
• Personally forgive.
Can you do it? Will you do it now?
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ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURES FOR STUDY
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1. Psalm 139:23-24.
LET GOD SEARCH YOUR HEART
Ps 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Ps 139:24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
2. James 5:16.
CONFESS YOUR SINS
Jas 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
3. Ephesians 4:32.
GET RID OF ALL BITTERNESS
Eph 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
4. Philippians 3:13.
FORGET THE PAST
Phil 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Phil 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
Phil 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
5. GOD WILL REPAY / GOD WILL AVENGE
2Ti 4:14 Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.
Ps 62:11-12 One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, Ps 62:12 and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.
Ro 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
6. THROW OFF EVERYTHING THAT HINDERS
Heb 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Heb 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Heb 12:3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
1Co 9:24-27 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
1Co 9:25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1Co 9:26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.
1Co 9:27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
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