“Friendly Fire”
“When Church Hurts”
By
District Elder M.L. Maughmer, Jr.
Jeremiah 20:9 “Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But [his word] was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not [stay]”.
I know what Jeremiah meant when he said it’s like fire shut up in my bones.
So many times in church we preach that saying and shout with excitement because it sounds good and it is supposedly communicates the joy that one feels down on the inside. That statement is often said with exuberance in order to get you into a mode of praise and worship. Church uses that statement and makes it seem that everything is alright and that one is on fire for God. However, when Jeremiah said that statement “It’s like fire shut up in my bones” he was not on a spiritual cloud nine. He wasn’t feeling joy unspeakable and full of glory. He didn’t have peace that passeth all understanding. He wasn’t saying God is great and greatly to be praised.
Understand that Jeremiah didn’t want to preach God’s word, not because he was back-slidden, not because he was spiritually weak, not because he had a spirit of disobedience. Jeremiah didn’t want to preach the Word of God because he was hurt. He had been wounded by those that he was sent to prophecy to. He was rejected by the religiosity of organized religion. His message had been ignored by the church folk. He had poured his heart and soul into relationships with those in the congregation only to be ostracized, criticized, talked about, cast down, ridiculed, persecuted, and bound by those that were supposed to be his friends, those that where the ecclesia, the called out ones, the church.
He was a product or the statistic of friendly fire. He had been wounded and hurt by the church and because of this hurt he didn’t want to say any thing else about the Lord God, from the Lord God to the church that had hurt him so bad.
People don’t, at least I don’t, expect to get hurt in church, so when it happens the piercing pain that penetrates our hearts runs especially deep. Since we are not prepared for church wounds when we receive them they are seldom fully healed.
We find within the body of Christ that there are people who have been hurt deeply, they are becoming worn and exhausted, struggling within the body of Christ, robbed of the joy that Jesus has promised.
Sadly accepting that this is the way church is. Some leave the church bitter and hostile never to return, wounded not by the fire-power of the enemy, but wounded from friendly fire within the church.
Then there are those that stay at church, but are not a part of church they are neither hot nor cold but are in a spiritual state of shock because they have been wounded by friendly fire in the church.
Then there are those that put on a mask, they clap their hands because that’s church, they sing every song because that’s church, they shout and speak in tongues because that’s church and that is what is expected in church.
But if you would only take time to ask just how they were really doing, if you could see on the inside you would find a heart pierced crying tears with a gut wrenching scream pleading I’ve been hurt please won’t somebody help me. Yet they continue on trying to stay with the program hoping that the problem will just go away. They try to bury the hurt and many can masquerade the pain fairly successfully until they unfortunately are hurt again.
Understand that these are not some super sensitive elite group of people walking around with their hearts on their sleeve, but are people looking for life, carrying an unquenchable thirst. They understand that they are destined for more then the way they are currently living their lives. They are hungry for substance, desiring relationship, and clammering for commitment in search of life and life more abundantly. They have tried the bottle, they have been to the drug house, they have been to the whore house, they have done all that they were big enough to do yet they are still seeking for someone to help, so they go to the only place they know and that’s church, but when they get there they don’t find what they had expected. Instead of acceptance, instead of compassion, instead of understanding, instead of Love, they are wounded by friendly fire.
Friendly Fire – is a term originally adopted by the U.S. Military and is fire, which is the process of shooting guns or other projectile weapons, from allied or friendly forces, as opposed to that from the enemy. A friendly fire incident is when friendly or so-called friendly forces attack and damage those on the same side, this attack of friendly forces may be deliberate or accidental.
Ω Zechariah 13:6 “And [one] shall say unto him, What [are] these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, [Those] with which I was wounded [in] the house of my friends” - KJV. The NLTV says “And if someone ask, then what about those wounds on your chest he will say, I was wounded at my friends house”.
I want to use for a subject today “Friendly Fire” and as a subtopic “When Church Hurts”.
Ω To be wounded or hurt is to have trauma, to damage or decrease the efficiency of, by rough use, improper care, to affect adversely, to cause mental pain, to offend or grieve, to insult.
We get hurt in the world and get over it, we get hurt in the church and don’t expect it to happen, but what we must understand is who comes to church. Who sings on the praise team? Who ushers on the usher board? Who makes up the congregation? Who sits in the pulpit? People who come from the world, they are not perfect people, but they are striving for perfection; therefore hurt is a part of life both natural life and Christian life.
The hurts received by the church or rather the church folk are especially painful and run extremely deep because they catch us off guard and there is nothing worse than a sucker punch because you never see it coming. The church is supposed to be place of healing and acceptance, but when wounded in the church those wounds, those hurts, never receive closure, the wounded are seldom if never met with a humble embrace and a true desire to pursue reconciliation.
The pain caused by the church becomes a silent killer because of what it does deep in the tapestry of the mind, heart, and soul of the wounded. If not dealt with it will destroy the one wounded and like a black mold infiltration that slowly infects the whole house so will it infect and affect the spiritual life of the one wounded and even the congregation.
Some times the wounded will slander the church that hurt them to whoever will listen, the first thing we want to say is that they need to shut up and stop complaining, therefore they slander simply because “The church” will not hear their cry, their heart has been pierced and its crying out I’ve been hurt will somebody help me. They feel like the man on the road from Jericho that fell among thieves, he was wounded and left alone, no doubt feeling as though he was going to die when long came a priest, a leader of the church, no doubt he thought surely my help has come, but the priest didn’t even take time to see about him that was hurt. Then came the Levite, this man represents the church folk, no doubt the wounded man said o.k. I know I will be helped now. The Levite looked at the man but didn’t have compassion upon him. Then long came the Good Samaritan, he represents the unchurched, anyone that would listen, he took time with the wounded and tended to his hurt. Oftentimes that is the reason that the hurt slander the church, they just needed someone to listen and tend to their wounds and since the church didn’t take the time they find the first person that will listen. Sometimes they find them in the grocery store or beauty salon, they will find them in the gym or barber shop, wherever they find someone will that will listen they begin to talk.
The thing about the Good Samaritan story is that we all say I don’t want to be like the priest or the Levite, I want to be like the good Samaritan, but in all actuality we are the ones that have been wounded and are in need of a good Samaritan and in our desire for him we long to be him, we’ve been wounded.
Personally I have been around and in the church all my life. Even when I was in the military and back slidden doing whatever I wanted to do, I would often find myself in church because church is what I knew, I tried world, but I knew church.
Therefore over the years I have experienced some contradictory things in church, understand that I love church, but I hate certain parts of it. I love the people of God, yet I have been utterly hurt by some of them. I’ve met some of the sweetest saints in the church yet I have also been lied on and slandered behind my back. I’ve developed true friendships in the church, but have also experienced the Judas kiss of betrayal. I have encounter God in church and have almost been killed by religion. I’ve experienced rejection and character assassination that have left me cautious and partially bitter. I’ve become tired of church services that try to inspire me to get into the presence of God by some type of manufactured praise and worship that leave me with no real power of change. I’ve been hurt. I’m thirsty looking for a quenching only to leave out the doors more parched then when I came in. Instead of receiving that humbled embrace, that compassion and understanding I’m criticized - WATCH THIS – by piercing words of if you only would have put into service, if you would have performed by my standard or religious piety you would have been blessed, if you only get into worship, but I was looking for someone to help me – I’ve been hurt and I need someone to help me.
If I’m not careful or receive help soon I’m gonna spiritually die. I’ve been hurt and I need help, I’ve experienced a deep emotional, damaging, and life changing experience that has caused me to internalize the experience. I’m emotionally scared and feel devastatingly degraded. I’m hurt and I need help. I’ve been hurt, inflicted, and ultimately overlooked by the church will somebody Help me.
If this isn’t corrected, if this type of behavior doesn’t change, if this isn’t controlled the church will have the blood of countless individuals on their hands. People are being hurt by the church, the body of Christ and this is dangerous because it causes the thinking of those that have been hurt to be affected and when their thinking is affected you begin to operate in the result of that hurt. They begin to build walls around themselves trying to protect their feelings from such hurt again; however, in the building of these walls the hurt find themselves trapped in pitfalls that are the product of being hurt.
They develop an incorrect concept of what church is and because of this incorrect concept of church they get angry with church and everything associated with church even God.
Once you get angry with church and God they begin to rebel, the Bible says in 1st Sam. 15:23 “For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king” All this is stemmed from the hurt.
If you never been hurt in church then you don’t know what I’m talking about, but for those that have ever felt hurt in the church then this is for you.
After rebellion the hurt begin complaining about church because they have been hurt. They find the first person that will listen to their hurt and attend to their wounds and if it’s not the church then it’s the unchurched. After complaining the devil places discouragement on top of that and that is were possession takes place. Understand that possession doesn’t always mean that the devil is on the inside and needs to be cast out, but whomever you lend your members to has possession.
When you become discouraged the first thing that we loose is control of your patience. Luke 21:19 says “In your patience possess ye your souls”. If in patience we posses our souls then if we loose our patience, which is the ability to wait without getting upset, if we loose patience in discouragement we have opened a door for the devil to come in and take control. This is a vicious cycle that is perpetuated by being hurt from so-called friendly fire.
After discouragement comes doubt we become doubtful and begin to feel that this pain will ever stop hurting, will I ever get out of this situation. If you never been hurt you don’t understand this, but if you have been hurt in the church then as the old saying goes you feel me.
I’ve been hurt and I don’t think the pain will ever go away. So now I go into another phase and that is fear. I develop a phobia of the church and begin to avoid the people of the church because I don’t want to experience anymore hurt.
Now that I’m separated from the church because I’ve been hurt, I now come to a place of hopelessness.
WATCH THIS – I’ve been wounded and separated from the church, I’m now isolated and vulnerable. The devil as a roaring lion that is seeking whom he may devour sees me, I’m hurt and all alone, in his eyes I’m easy prey and unless I get some help I’m gonna die all because I’ve been hurt. In this place of hopelessness if I don’t get some help I’m gonna miss-out on my inheritance, which is everlasting life with God all because I’ve been hurt. Will somebody help me.
Now that I have been hurt in the church how do I keep the hurt from infiltrating into every fiber of my being and destroying my soul.
The Bible says in Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life” – KJV. The NLTV says “Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life”.
The number 5 in the Bible represents God’s Grace. Here is God’s Grace shown in 5 steps to protect your heart.
1st – we protect our hearts by doing as the Bible says in 1st Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour”.
Vigialnt = to be carefully observant, on the lookout – in other words expect the unexpected. There’s an old saying that goes “hope for the best, but expect the worse”. Remember the worse punch you can receive is a sucker punch because you never see it coming, but if you are vigilant constantly looking for the sucker punch we will be able to see it before it happens, sure it will hurt but at least you’ll guard your heart.
2nd – way to protect your heart is to do as the Bible says in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things”. Don’t dwell on the people that hurt you and the weakness of the church. Now this isn’t going to be easy it’s going to take humility – James 4:6 says “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble”. Even though you have been hurt you must be humble. You must have a forgiving attitude Eph 4:32 says “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”. Not only must you forgive, but you can’t have any desire for vengeance. Romans 12:19 says “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”. This is going to take the leading of the Holy Ghost Eph 3:16 says “That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man”.
3rd – way to protect your heart is to don’t blame God for how his people act. My father many times would say an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but it sure does roll a long way. Remember the people of God are striving for perfection they are not there yet, so we can’t get mad at God for what people do.
4th – way to protect your heart is not to leave the church – understand this church is the body of Christ not a particular building, because sometimes you may have to leave a particular building. The church is made up of people and all of them aren’t bad, there are more loving, sincere, genuine, spirit-filled, grace-having people in church then you may realize seek them out. Remember the Bible says ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find it, knock and the door shall be open unto you.
5th – way to protect your heart is to understand Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Because He cares and understands, He was despised and rejected of men, betrayed by those he called His friends, Judas sold him out for 30 pieces of silver and betrayed Him with a kiss, Peter denied Him 3 times in one night, all the disciples run away from Him in His darkest hour see He understands what it means to be hurt; a man of sorrows acquainted with grief, He knows and cares about your hurt so he says so lovingly and tenderly in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, (not the religious system, not the piety of religiosity, but come unto me Jesus) all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden( that have been hurt), and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light”. Understand that Isaiah 53:5 says “But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed”. We are healed from the damaging effects of sin as well as the effects of so-called Friendly Fire.
In closing remember the words of Psalms 61:1-3 “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock [that] is higher than I. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock [that] is higher than I”
District Elder M.L. Maughmer, Jr
Southern Ohio District
Assistant Pastor
O.G.C.O.G.I.C.
