Kevin Davis says he will spend the next 25 years in prison because anything less would be a "horrible injustice" to Jennifer Teague, the young woman whom he admits to killing. Ms. Teague vanished as she walked home from visiting with friends on Sept. 8, 2005. Her body was found 10 days later in a wooded area by an off-duty police officer. Davis was charged with first-degree murder in June 2006 after announcing that he was responsible for the teen’s death during a bizarre, drug-induced episode nine months after the crime.
"I am extremely sorry and if I could do anything to bring Jennifer back I would do it in a heartbeat, even if it meant giving up my own life. I hope one day I can be forgiven," said Davis, speaking from behind a glass partition at the Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre. Davis, who is scheduled to enter his guilty plea on Jan. 25, said he decided to plead guilty, in part, after watching Ms. Teague’s older brother, Kevin, struggle to control his emotions during the first few days of the preliminary hearing in November. "The look on his face. He looked so in pain, emotional pain. It just killed me," Davis said. "It really, really hurt me to see her brother in there." "I didn’t want to put the Teague family, or my family, through any more (crap). I am just trying to right a wrong." Ms. Teague’s brother, Carey, said yesterday he hopes Davis is truly sincere when he says he is sorry for what he has done. Mr. Teague said it doesn’t change the feelings of anger and hate he has toward him. "I think he deserves everything he gets," said Mr. Teague, who believes the first-degree murder conviction and life sentence is the appropriate outcome for killing his 18-year-old sister. "I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He is not the victim in this," said Mr. Teague, 22. Davis knows there is little he can say to the Teague family that can ease their pain. "’Sorry’ doesn’t even cut it," he said. "It would be nice to have their forgiveness, but it is not something I am expecting. I’m sorry. My heart goes out to them. Tell them to stay strong.".
Davis, who claims to be a born-again Christian, said he found God within his first week at the Innes Road jail. He described jail as a "rewarding" experience which has allowed him to find God and has helped to heal a fractured relationship with his mother. "I’ve developed into a better person. I’ve learned not to take for granted the freedoms we have on the outside," Davis said. "There was a lot missing in my life.
Without God, without my family, I would not be going through with this. God had been directing me to plead guilty, to take your punishment. "There are so many people who are cynical and [might] say he is putting on a show. It is completely genuine. While appearing candid and remorseful during the 20-minute interview, Davis would not say why he killed Ms. Teague. He did say that Ms. Teague’s death occurred in a "horrible, horrible moment of selfishness."
(Source: Andrew Seymour, Canwest News Service: Saturday, January 12, 2008
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=232080)
The story of this murder is striking. Except for one us that I know of, most of us can not imagine the pain of suddenly losing of love one and coming to grips with not only the reality of not seeing them again in this lifetime, but the details of the death. I don’t know the spiritual state of the Teague family, but what if they are Christians? How should they respond to the apparent repentance of the killer? What would God expect from the killer, victims families and society at large?
In dealing with personal offences, Matthew 18 is the pinnacle passage. Someone might then ask, “Why bother to go through the steps outlined in Matthew 18? Why go to an offender alone, then with one or two others, then take him to church? Why not just forgive, and let that be the end of it?”
• The answer is that just as there are stages in outward reconciliation specified in Matthew 18:15-20, there are stages in the administration of forgiveness.
• With what we saw last week in Rom. 5:8-“While we were still sinners” God took the initiative, so too are we in reconciliation.
o Even though we have the responsibility to take the initiative, we are not to forgive unless there is repentance: God took the initiative in extending forgiveness while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8) but requires repentance for forgiveness (Lk 13:3 as we will see)
What then does God expect of us when we are wronged or sin against another?
In verses 21-22 we first see Peter’s 1) Inquiry about forgiveness and then Jesus’ teaching about 2) The extent of God’s forgiveness of believers.
1) THE INQUIRY ABOUT FORGIVENESS Matthew 18:21
Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" (ESV)
In the present context the adverb then probably means “shortly afterward”, since there would seem to be a close connection between the matter presented in verse 15 about a brother sinning against you and Peter’s question in verse 21 of how often should a brother sin against me and I forgive him?
In light of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:15-20 about discipline in the church, Peter wondered how many times Christians as a body and as individuals were obliged to forgive fellow believers who persisted in wrongdoing. How many times should they be allowed to repent and be restored to fellowship?
Peter knew human nature and how many times people need forgiveness, often for the same offence. He understood the human tendency to commit a sin, be forgiven, and then before long commit the same sin or some other equally as bad.
Jesus’ teaching about discipline includes both direct and indirect offences. Believers are to rebuke a sinning brother or sister for any sin. And they are to bring the offender before the church for biblically confronted sin, because every sin not only is directly against God but is also either directly or indirectly against the church and every individual believer. Jesus said on another occasion:
Luke 17:3 [3]Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, (ESV)
Commendably, Peter personalized Jesus’ teaching, and his primary concern at this time was about his own responsibility. He therefore asked, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?”
Please turn back to Matthew 6
• It is positive that Peter takes it for granted that he must forgive;
Definition: Forgiveness is the act of excusing or pardoning others in spite of their slights, shortcomings, and errors. (Youngblood, R. F., Bruce, F. F., Harrison, R. K., & Thomas Nelson Publishers. (1995). Nelson’s new illustrated Bible dictionary. Rev. ed. of: Nelson’s illustrated Bible dictionary.; Includes index. Nashville: T. Nelson.)
• Genuine repentance always involves a confession of wrongdoing, a plea for forgiveness, and a willingness to make things right. This differs from an apology, which often takes the form of an excuse or self-defence. (John MacArthur: The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness. Crossway Books. (1998) p. 185.)
o The issue here is genuine repentance. That’s why when there is obviously no genuine repentance there is no genuine forgiveness. The unrepentant could be asked as it says in Matthew 3:8 to [8]Bear fruit in keeping with repentance. (ESV)
• It is ceasing to feel resentment for wrongs and offences; personally, resulting in pardon, resulting in restoration of broken relationships.
• Primarily, forgiveness is an act of God, releasing sinners from judgment and freeing them from the divine penalty of their sin. Since only God is holy, only God can forgive sin (Mk 2:7; Lk 5:21) (Elwell, W. A., & Beitzel, B. J. (1988). Baker encyclopedia of the Bible. Map on lining papers. (810). Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Book House.)
• Christ had before taught his disciples this lesson (ch. 6:14, 14), and Peter has not forgotten it. In understanding the aspects of reconciliation that Jesus has in mind, central in our prayers to God is the aspect of our relations one amongst another:
Matthew 6:14-15 14]For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, [15]but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (ESV)
o This is an example of applying the concept of grace in the kingdom of God that we looked at last week in the Golden rule of Luke 6:27-36. We are expected to achieve more than just the negative of not bearing a grudge against his brother, or meditate revenge, but the positive action, of proactive attempted reconciliation of a broken relationship and forgiveness with repentance.
There are lies we tell ourselves that keep us from forgiving:
1) “I have to forgive myself first for my anger before I can forgive you”
• This is a misunderstanding as to whom is offended with sin
• As we saw last week with our discussion of the Golden Rule (Lk. 6:27-36), there are vertical as well as horizontal issues. With every horizontal action there are vertical implications. If we sin against another horizontally, we also sin against God vertically (Ps. 51). If we fail to forgive our brother horizontally, there is serious question in our relationship to God vertically.
2) “Time will heal all wounds. In time I will forgive you”
• This is avoidance.
Ephesians 4:26 [26]Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, (ESV)
• Being angry when we are sinned against is natural, but we do have a choice in how we respond to it and with the specifics of Mt. 18 or the concept here in Eph. 4, we should deal with offences against us as soon as possible.
3) “ What he did to me was too great to forgive”
• Could you imagine if God said this to our sin? In reality, this is a denial in the value of Christ’s atonement: Some how, is sacrifice is not great enough.
Romans 5:20 [20]Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, (ESV)
4) “I can’t forget what he did to me”
We are to show grace in the face of repentance as God does. We continue to have barriers between us because of lingering bitterness over past offences. For those who repent, this is how God regards past offences:
Isaiah 65:17 [17]"For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.
• There is obviously no way to purge the memory of an offence. The more sever the offence, the more difficult it may be to keep the memory from coming to mind.
o In reference to the nature of how we are to forgive in relation to Isa 43:25; 65:17, Heb. 8:12; 10:17, it is one where the offence will no longer be held to account or reminded of.
o In the context of loving our enemies, the agape love is an act of the will. It is not hypocrisy to will forgiveness when the emotions are still screaming for vengeance.
Christians are at their best when they are forgiving. Because they themselves have been forgiven so much by God:
Ephesians 4:32 [32]Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (ESV)
Colossians 3:13 [13]bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (ESV)
Quotation: ALEXANDER POPE, said in his famous (An) Essay on Criticism said: “To err is human, to forgive, divine”. (Merriam-Webster, I. (1992). The Merriam-Webster dictionary of quotations. "A Merriam-Webster."; "Quotables from notables"--Cover.; Includes index. (151). Springfield, Mass.: Merriam-Webster.)
Illustration: When Leonardo da Vinci was working on his painting “The Last Supper” and became angry with a certain man. Losing his temper, he lashed the other fellow with bitter words. Returning to his canvas, Leonardo attempted to work on the face of Jesus but was so upset he could not compose himself for the painstaking work. Finally he put down his tools and sought out the subject of his wrath and asked his forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and Leonardo was able to return to his workshop and finish painting the face of Jesus. (Green, M. P. (1989). Illustrations for Biblical Preaching : Over 1500 sermon illustrations arranged by topic and indexed exhaustively (Revised edition of: The expositor’s illustration file). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.).
Forgiveness is not natural. Because it is so foreign to fleshly human nature, people find it very difficult to forgive others.
Quote: A famous saying on revenge articulates that “revenge is a dish best served cold”. (1782 by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. (Dangerous Liaisons)
Yet nothing so characterizes the new nature of Christians as forgiveness, because nothing so characterizes the nature of their Lord. Jesus’ most striking and humanly incomprehensible words from the cross were:
Luke 23:34 [34]And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." And they cast lots to divide his garments. (ESV)
After being betrayed, falsely convicted, beaten, spat upon, and unjustly nailed to a cross to die an agonizing death, the Son of God harbored no hatred for His tormentors but instead offered them forgiveness.
Following his Lord’s example, Stephen’s last words as he was being stoned to death were:
Acts 7:60a [60]And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (ESV)
• Being pummelled to death by stones for having committed no greater crime than preaching the gospel, yet his heart was not filled with bitterness but with compassion for his executioners.
The heart is the issue that Christ was addressing:
Matthew 18:34 [34]And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. [35]So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." (ESV)
• There is the reality that the one who wrongs us may not be willing to repent or even recognize that a wrong was done. Even though we may offer forgiveness, the relationship may not be healed. We know this because Jesus offered forgiveness continually, but not all were reconciled to Him.
• We are responsible for what we do, not for what others do. We are responsible for our hearts not theirs.
Romans 12:18 [18]If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (ESV)
• We need not be naive. There are some who will not choose to be reconciled.
Throughout the discourse of chapter 18, Jesus was speaking about believers, whom He refers to as little ones, children, sheep, and brothers (vv. 3-6, 10, 12, 14, 15). From His reference to my brother, it is clear that Peter also was thinking about a believer, represented by himself, forgiving other believers. Peter’s question was: “Does forgiveness have a limit? Granted that a person who commits an offense and repents should be forgiven and restored a few times. But what if he continually falls into sin, over and over again? How often must I forgive him?”
Perhaps to demonstrate how magnanimous he thought he was, Peter suggested a limit of seven times, which was more than twice that allowed by Jewish tradition. Using references in the book of Amos (see 1:3, 6, 9, 11, 13; cf. Job 33:29), the rabbis had taken a repeated statement by God against neighbouring enemies of Israel and made it into a universal rule for limiting God’s forgiveness.
• According to biblical numerology, seven is the sacred and complete number, perhaps his meaning was, Is there to be a limit at which the needful forbearance will be full? ( Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., Fausset, A. R., Brown, D., & Brown, D. (1997). A commentary, critical and explanatory, on the Old and New Testaments. On spine: Critical and explanatory commentary. (Mt 18:21). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)
Correcting the quote I gave off the top of my head last week: “A Text without a Context is a pretext to a prooftext”. The Rabbis had taken a national directive to Israel and unjustly put it into a personal application, perhaps from an erroneous interpretation of Amos 1:3; 2:1.
Quote: Rabbi Jose ben Hanina, for instance, said, “He who begs forgiveness from his neighbor must not do so more than three times.”
Rabbi Jose ben Jehuda said, “If a man commits an offense once, they forgive him; if he commits an offense a second time, they forgive him; if he commits an offense a third time, they forgive him; the fourth time they do not forgive him.”
Peter therefore probably thought Jesus would be impressed with the seemingly generous suggestion of up to seven times.
• There are many who will not let you cross them twice, and they see this as a virtue.
• Compared to Jewish tradition, it was generous and no doubt was based on Peter’s growing understanding of Jesus’ teaching and personal example of compassion and mercy. Realizing that the Lord’s graciousness was in marked contrast to the self-centered legalism of the scribes and Pharisees, Peter doubled their narrow limit for forgiveness and added one more time for good measure.
From THE INQUIRY ABOUT FORGIVENESS Matthew 18:21 we see:
2) THE EXTENT OF FORGIVENESS (Matthew 18:22)
Matthew 18:22 [22]Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (ESV)
Peter was still thinking like the scribes and Pharisees and like fallen human nature is always inclined to think. He was thinking in the measurable and limited terms of law, not in terms of grace.
The Lord was not extending the legal limit of forgiveness. The spirit of genuine forgiveness is a state of the heart, not a matter of calculation. Jesus was not speaking of law or limits at all. By seventy times seven He did not mean 490. He simply picked up on Peter’s number and multiplied it by itself and then by ten, indicating a number that, for all practical purposes, was beyond counting. Record keeping is not to be considered (1 Corinthians 13:5), and a Christian with a forgiving heart thinks nothing about it. He forgives the hundredth offence or the thousandth just as readily and graciously as the first-because that is the way he is forgiven by God.
Perhaps Jesus had in mind Lamech’s arrogant boast:
Genesis 4:24 [24]If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold."
The inclination of sinful man is to return evil for evil without limit. God’s standard is just the opposite; Jesus said to return good for evil without limit.
Remember the connection that we saw with repentance and forgiveness:
Luke 17:3 [3]Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, [4]and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ’I repent,’ you must forgive him." (ESV)
Please turn to 2 Cor. 2
Jesus was not setting a daily limit, but rather the opposite. He was speaking of repeated, regular sinning that is committed many times a day, day after day, and of corresponding repeated forgiveness. He was saying that even if a fellow Christian sins against you every day for seven times each day, you should be ready and willing to forgive him that often. The faithful, godly Christian will never allow his own forgiveness to be surpassed by a brother’s sin. Reflecting his heavenly Father’s nature, where sin against him increases, so does his gracious forgiveness (cf. Rom. 5:20).
There are serious implications for the church of God with a lack of forgiveness. In
2 Corinthians 2:7-11 [7]so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. [8]So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. [9]For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. [10]Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, [11]so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. (ESV)
• A failure to forgive in the assembly of Christ can destroy a local congregation. When an offender in the church in Corinth repented, the congregation failed to forgiven him. This failure necessitated a response from the Apostle Paul for he knew that this is a way that Satan destroys local congregations.
Please turn to Genesis 50
Genesis 50:15-21 [15]When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him." [16]So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, "Your father gave this command before he died, [17]’Say to Joseph, Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. [18]His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants." [19]But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? [20]As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. [21]So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. (ESV)
Joseph had been terribly wronged by his jealous brothers when they sold him into slavery. They expected him to retaliate but he held no grudge. Years later, when they were in the midst of a great famine and he was the only person who could help them, he harboured no ill will, embraced them in love, provided the food they needed, and even gave them the lush region of Goshen to live in.
• This is why he is described as a man after God’s own heart because of his own forgiving and merciful heart.
• Although King Saul repeatedly tried to kill David with a javelin and pursued him relentlessly in the hills of Judah with his army, David not only refused to harm Saul because he was the Lord’s anointed but even refused to harbor any hatred against him (see 1 Sam. 24:6, 12; 26:11).
Quote: Archibald Hart said: “Forgiveness is relinquishing my rights to hurt back” (Zuck, R. B. (1997). The speaker’s quote book : Over 4,500 illustrations and quotations for all occasions. Includes index. (154). Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications.).
Illustration: There’s a story of soldier, that while still a young boy, formed the habit of praying beside his bed before he went to sleep. He became an object of mockery and ridicule in the barracks. One night, as he knelt to pray after a long, weary march, one of his tormentors took off his muddy boots and threw them at him one at a time, hitting him on each side of his head. The Christian said nothing, took the persecutor’s boots, put them beside the bed, and continued to pray.
The next morning, when the other soldier woke up, he found his polished and shined boots sitting beside his own bed. It so affected him that he asked for forgiveness and after a time became a Christian (Green, M. P. (1989). Illustrations for Biblical Preaching : Over 1500 sermon illustrations arranged by topic and indexed exhaustively (Revised edition of: The expositor’s illustration file). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.).
Forgiveness reflects the highest human virtue, because it so clearly reflects the character of God. A person who forgives is a person who emulates godly character. Nothing so much demonstrates God’s love as His forgiveness. A person who does not forgive is therefore a person lacking in godly character and without Christlike love, no matter how orthodox his theology or how outwardly impeccable his morals appear to be.
Quote: A Christian who will not relinquish a hateful, resentful attitude toward someone who has wronged him is a person who knows neither the true glory of his redeemed humanity nor the true glory of God’s gracious divinity An unforgiving Christian is a living contradiction of His new nature in Christ. It is central to the heart of God to forgive, and only the Christian who radiates forgiveness radiates true godliness (MacArthur, J. F. (1985). The MacArthur New Testament Commentary. The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Mt 18:21). Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books).
Considering forgiveness from another direction, Christians need to forgive because they themselves need forgiveness. They are spiritual children and, like all children, are ignorant, weak, selfish, disobedient, and regularly in need of forgiveness, both from God and from each other.
Why did Jesus not respond that we must indefinitely forgive? Because, like God, there is a limit to forgiveness. There comes a time of accounting at death where it is too late to repent.
• Which relationships are impossible to repair? Those separated by death.
• For us, that means seeking reconciliation with those who are our enemies while we both live, but realizing that the greater message is being reconciled with God while there is still time
