1 Samuel 1-8: Family Matters
This morning, there is one simple question that I want to ask you, and it applies to each of us:
What are you going to do about your family?
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have family problems. And it is no different whether we live in the 21st century AD or BC. We have been going through the OT together, looking at God’s choosing to speak and lead a people for himself. We saw the Jews come to the land he had promised them, and then fail to possess it. They lived in comfort, attacking the Canaanites until the battles were to hard. Then they left the Canaanites alone, and their idolatry haunted the Jews for the next thousand years.
We saw when we come to the book of Judges, the people have settled down into cycles of sin. They obey God when a strong judge, a strong political/military/religious leader is present. But when the judge dies off, the people drift away from God. When the pressure is off, we sink back to the lows of following the path of least resistance. We saw last week the story of Ruth, and the reminder for us to consider how well we love. Regardless of our situation, we can choose to show love. This past week, how good of a job did you do at overcoming prejudice and biases, and showing unconditional love even towards the difficult people in your life? Take 10 seconds and rate yourself - how did you do this week at showing love? (Wait) You have 7 more days this week.
Today, we come to the book of 1 Samuel. And this morning we want to look at the other side of love: discipline. We are going to look at three examples from the first few chapters - each showing us the need for discipline in families: Hannah, Eli, and Samuel.
We want to look at the importance of discipline in building strong families.
And that is as important today as ever before.
The story of 1 Samuel takes place right at the end of the period of the judges. Remember the key phrase from Judges (21:25)- every man did that which was right in his own eyes - that characterized the thinking back then. But it also is very characteristic of our day today. We live in a day where parents believe they can do whatever they please. We have a society that was raised with Dr. Spock - don’t spank your kids; give them what they want; let them make up their own minds about things - don’t try to influence them with your views. And as a result, we have a society that is rushing headlong into hell!
What is wrong with our society!? We need to take a stand for truth in an age that teaches there is no truth. We need to be the salt and light that God calls us to be. So that brings me back to our one question for this morning:
What are you going to do about your family?
Let’s pray. Prayer for us to lead our families to take a stand for truth.
Look with me at 1 Samuel 1:1-8. We want to first look at the example of Hannah. Work thru text. There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.
Elkanah is from Ephraim, the tribe that settled about 20 miles north of Jerusalem. And while Elkanah is from Ephraim, he is really part of the tribe of Levi: he is a priest. 1 Chronicles 6:22-27 gives us his genealogy. He is a priest who lives up in the hills, ministering to the people there. It is interesting that the last chapter of Judges starts out with the story of a priest living in Ephraim, and how his concubine is attacked and raped all night long by the men of Benjamin. It wasn’t a good neighborhood for raising a family. Yet, here is a godly priest who seeks to honor God in the midst of a lawless society and a degenerate people. It goes on to tell us . . .
No matter how bad your surroundings, it is always your CHOICE whether you choose to be faithful to God or to give in and go along with the crowd. There is always a choice.
He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.
As we look at the story it appears that Hannah is his favorite wife. She is his focus of attention
Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the LORD Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the LORD.
A few chapters later we are going to see these two sons of Eli again. They are corrupt - abusing their power, forcing the people, having sexual encounters with the women who came to worship.
In the midst of a corrupt society and a corrupt church, here is a godly man who seeks to honor God faithfully. No matter how bad of a circle you might be in, God always gives strength to those who choose to stand for what is right. You might think that you are the only Christian at work so you’d better be silent. But what often happens is the more you speak out for Christ, the more Christians you find who also work with you. It was neat - this week I took the girls to the Owosso Girls Soccer game, and the visiting coach swore at one of his girls - and immediately there was an outcry against him to watch his language. No matter how bad of a situation you are in, you can choose to follow God - and often you will find others who want to follow God just like you do. Elkanah is a man like this. He worships God faithfully, even in a corrupt day with corrupt priests. The text goes on - Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year.
In this day, having children, especially sons was very important for the Jews. It was through their children that the legacy of the family was carried on. That’s why there were special laws for the remarriage of widows who had not borne children. We saw that last week in Ruth.
Hannah is filled with grief - both over not having sons as well as from the constant provoking from Penninah. What do you do when you long for something, but you don’t get it? Hannah turned to God in prayer. The text goes on -
Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on a chair by the doorpost of the LORD’s temple.
Remember the setting of the day. The temple has not yet been built. The tabernacle that led the Jews through the wilderness had found a permanent home at the town of Shiloh Joshua 18 tells us, so Elkanah brings his family before the Lord to worship every year. He was very faithful in worship. As they come together to worship, they would sacrifice to the Lord, and then celebrate a meal together. Hannah is so troubled she gets up and leaves the table. She has to come and pray. She can’t even eat. Verse 10 goes on - In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, “O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard.
Hannah is not trying to manipulate God or force his hand, but she is stating that her desire for a son is so great, that if God would give her a son, she would give that child back to serve the Lord all his days. What we see here is the Nazirite vow, just like we saw Samson’s parents taking. She is saying that if God blesses her with a child, she will look for him to be completely dedicated to serving the Lord.
When Jacqueline was born, and then later when Joy was born, Ronda and I took each daughter, and brought her to the front of the church. And there we made a formal dedication acknowledging that these daughters are not ours, but we have given them up to God. He has entrusted them to our care to raise and teach and model our faith before them. But they are His, not ours. Hannah makes a commitment even before she has borne her son. Verse 13 goes on -
Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine.” He saw her mouth moving but no sound and thought she had gotten drunk at the feast.
“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, [which means asked of God or heard of God] saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him.”
As soon as Eli tells Hannah she will have what she is praying for, she gets up, changes her attitude, gets her appetite back, and becomes joyful. Why? Because she has faith that God has heard her. She believes that God will work.
Do we believe in a God who hears us? Often we pray out of desperate hearts, but we need to also follow Hannah’s example that when we see God has heard us, we by faith believe that God is going to answer us.
The story of Samuel goes on. His parents take him back to the tabernacle when he is a few years old, and he serves God there faithfully through his years. His parents come back each year to see him and to provide for his needs. Some people would pity Samuel for not having a normal childhood, but the truth is that Samuel had a better childhood than some of the other children we will see. His parents were absent for much of his upbringing, but they modeled a commitment to God that was rare for that day.
Samuel started serving God from a child. Some of the greatest witnesses for God have been children. Jesus said unless you have the faith of a child, you will never see the kingdom of God. Paul writes Timothy, don’t let anyone despise you because of your youth. We sometimes get the idea that serving God is for the spiritually mature who have earned their place of involvement through years of commitment. The truth is just the opposite. We need to tap into the power of youth.
My pastor growing up was named Howard Burtner. I can remember as a child he would call me up from my seat to help teach his lesson. He would ask me what I thought about things and use the “from the mouth of babes” concept. I remember also in my teen years, when I was in Sr. High my pastor asked me to teach the Jr. High boys SS class. There is a tremendous power in youth. It is very likely that the disciples were very young men, maybe college-aged or in their late teens.
When you look at the teens here in this church, just remember that they represent the church of tomorrow. Why do we care about children’s ministry? It’s not just a baby-sitting service, but an opportunity to shape the leaders of tomorrow’s world. Having said that, I hope you will take an interest in the youth and teens here at Bethel. We need to really pray that God would use our children to do mighty things in the kingdom of God.
In Samuel we see the example of a child whose parents weren’t real active in his life, yet whose example was a faithful, consistent witness. And we see a child who spent his life faithfully serving God. Compare that with the second parenting example we want to look at - Eli & his sons.
Look with me in 1 Samuel 2:12 -
Eli’s sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the LORD.
Literally the phrase here where it calls them wicked men in the NIV is “sons of Belial” - in our usage today, it would be like calling them “hell raisers” -
Now it was the practice of the priests with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice and while the meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand. He would plunge it into the pan or kettle or cauldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh.
This was how God provided for the needs of the priests - they got a share of all the offerings given. But that share wasn’t enough for Hophni & Phineas.
But even before the fat was burned, the servant of the priest would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, “Give the priest some meat to roast; he won’t accept boiled meat from you, but only raw.” If the man said to him, “Let the fat be burned up first, and then take whatever you want,” the servant would then answer, “No, hand it over now; if you don’t, I’ll take it by force.” This sin of the young men was very great in the LORD’s sight, for they were treating the LORD’s offering with contempt.
They didn’t want to wait till the meat was tender when it might fall apart - they wanted a bigger cut, a bigger piece of meat. And they were going to take it by force if necessary.
Notice down in verse 22 - Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. No, my sons; it is not a good report that I hear spreading among the LORD’s people. If a man sins against another man, God may mediate for him; but if a man sins against the LORD, who will intercede for him?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the LORD’s will to put them to death.
Not only have these boys abused the Lord’s offerings and forced the people. Now they are having sexual intercourse with women coming to worship. There is only one woman in this church I have any business thinking about having sex with - my wife. If you ever hear I’m involved in any affair don’t believe it, check out the facts. But if I ever would fall sexually, this church cannot tolerate that sin as though it were okay. What does Eli do? He says, My boys, I’m hearing bad things about you. I don’t want to hear bad things. That’s not good.
We might think Eli’s really cracking down on his boys by these verses. But the truth is Eli is just reading them the “riot act.” They know there is now teeth to his rebuke. How do I know this? Look at verse 29 where a man of God comes to rebuke Eli. God says through him, Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel? God tells Eli, you’re siding with your sons, not condoning what they’re doing, but eating the meat without taking a stand against their wrongdoing. Eli said, I’ll just eat the meat and now cause any problems. And God says, Eli, you’re dishonoring me.
Look over in 3:13 when God speaks to Samuel. God says about Eli, For I told him that I would judge his family for ever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them.
Did Eli confront his sons? NO! He might have made a big fuss, but they knew they could keep on acting up and get away with everything they were doing.
Let me ask our question for the morning once again.
What are you going to do about your family?
It’s not enough just to love God and tell your children about the Lord. They have a mind of their own, and they may choose NOT to follow God. So what is a parent’s responsibility? Sometimes we like to think it is simply to say, “Now you know I don’t think that’s right.” But they know we aren’t going to do anything to boldly discipline them. The lesson from Eli is that we need to have that determined “in your face” - I won’t let you go until you stop sinning - attitude that Eli failed to have with his kids. What are you going to do about your family?
If you have a son or daughter who has a lifestyle that is not pleasing God, do not let them go. Do not say “they’re old enough to make their own decisions.” Do not let them reap the consequences of their sins. Instead, daily confront them in love and kindness, speaking the truth in love, to call them to repentance and to challenge them to serve God.
Eli knew his kids were sinning and he just let them go. Don’t make the same mistake.
The third example we see in parenting is that of Samuel. Look over in 1 Samuel 8:
When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as judges for Israel. The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba. But his sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice. So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”
Here is the prophet Samuel - a good man, who hears from God, who speaks for God, who has served God all his life. And yet his sons turn aside from doing what is right. Nothing is ever said about Samuel’s failure in parenting. He may have done everything right. Yet the sons still turn away from God.
Yet now Samuel is old, but he appoints his wayward sons with positions of power and leadership. It is a blatant abuse of power, and the people rebel and ask for a king. At this point, Samuel’s sons are probably around 50 years old.
The third point I would bring out this morning is that your children are your children all your life. Children are to respect and honor their parents all their life. Not just until they are out of the house. Not just until they have a car and job of their own. But in the same way, after the children leave, we still have a spiritual responsibility to lead our families. Remember the story of Job, who every day sacrifices in case one of his grown children had sinned.
You might say, I don’t have to worry this morning about this message, because my parenting days are over. Well, unless your children are dead, you still have a parenting responsibility. And even if you have no children, you still have a responsibility to the families of this congregation. So once again I ask the question:
What are you going to do about your family?
If your children are out of the house, and have families of their own, and you know of sinful practices going on, what are you going to do about it? Maybe you can’t ground them anymore and take away the car keys, but you can still pray. Let them see your heart broken over the sinfulness of their lifestyle. Write them a letter and share your heart. Invite them over for lunch, and share with them your concerns and share the biblical passages that speak to the issues they are facing in their life.
Our responsibilities for our families do not end when our kids graduate high school or move out of the house. We need to faithfully call them to righteous living. We need to faithfully model the example for them to follow.
This morning, there is just one main point:
We need to be committed to training our children, no matter how young or old, to follow God with an undivided heart. And if they go astray, we need to continually call them to repentance.
We can’t give up. We can’t give in. We can’t excuse sinful actions. We can’t just keep our mouths closed. We can’t act like we don’t know anything is wrong. If our family is out of line with God’s word, we have a responsibility before God to call our family members to repentance. May God help each of us to do that this morning. Let’s pray.
Prayer
The way we call our family to follow God is to constantly display before them a passionate love for God that is contagious. Let’s sing about that, as we sing in closing, Jesus, Lover of My Soul.
