Men and women – Equal but Different?
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We live in an age where merely recognizing differences in people can sometimes be interpreted as discrimination.
Since the 1960’s it has been unlawful in the workplace to discriminate based upon race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.
While that is good, and I don’t really know anyone who desires to discriminate, it is a much more difficult thing to put into practice in regards to not discriminating based upon sex.
Police fitness standards
For instance, is it discrimination to have one standard of physical fitness to be a police officer?
Most of us would say no. Until that is if in practice, that standard eliminated nearly all women from being police officers. Then there might be those who complain.
But what if different standards were made for men and women.
Would that be discrimination against men if women had a lower standard?
What if we eventually came up with standards where the exact proportion of the population was represented as police officers? Would that be free from discrimination?
But then let me ask you, who would you want coming to rescue you from a mugger?
A woman who had become a police officer because she had to be able to bench press less weight, do fewer sit ups, run at a slower pace than a man?
We all know that generally, there are anatomical differences between men and women, but where does it become discrimination and where is it just a matter of design that determines the role a person should play?
This question has been Hot to handle for a long time and I don’t expect it will change after today’s message, but we are going to attempt to tackle the issue of Men and Women and the roles we play by asking the question
Should the differences between men and women play a part in determining what role a person may play in the home or church?
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Are men and women equal or are they different or can we be both equal and different and does that play a part in determining our role in the home and church?
This is by no means just some theological debate because it has very really effects on our daily life in the home and in the church depending on what we believe about this issue.
So let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say about Men and women, our differences and our roles.
First, we need to understand that the Bible teaches that even though we have been created different,
Men and Women have Equal Worth
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Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
Men and women have been created in the image of God and because of that are valuable in God’s sight.
Today, in the Christian community, except for some possibly fringe element, nobody will disagree with that. Everyone recognizes the intrinsic worth of all human beings, both men and women.
Unfortunately, however, whether or not people would acknowledge that, it has not always been practiced. Women historically have often been treated as inferior to men.
In Old Testament times, a common prayer among Jewish men would be,
“Thank you God that I am not a Gentile, a slave or a woman”
The Bible does not support the view that women are inferior in worth to men. They have been
created in the image of God like a man and
are valuable to Him
and to treat them as property or as something less than a man, is a sin that demeans the image of God.
Our God is a great God and has created nothing that bears His image as inferior.
Women have equal worth in the eyes of God and are valuable to Him and should be valuable to us just as any human being should be.
The Bible also teaches that
Men and Women have Equal Giftings
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That means that every gift of the Holy Spirit is available to both men and women
When Paul writes to the Corinthians he does not indicate a difference for men or women in receiving gifts of the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:7-11
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.
It is both men and women who are believers that have available to them every spiritual gift that the Spirit offers.
And women have the same responsibility as men have to use those gifts in accord with God’s plan
to continue to grow in their own faith
as well as for the good of the church to see the Kingdom of God grow.
I want to tell you that if women did not use their gifts in the church, the church would not be able to function very well.
It would be less compassionate.
It would be less productive.
It would have fewer ministries because of the leadership of women leading those ministries.
The church would be less able to minister to this lost and dying world if women did not exercise their gifts to the fullest extent.
It would be less in every way because the church, the Body of Christ needs both men and women serving and using their gifts for it to be healthy and successful.
So men and women have equal giftings.
Now even though men and women have equal worth and equal gifting, We also see that
Men and Woman have Different Design
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Going back to Genesis 1:27, we see that God created males and females.
While we are of the same kind, human, we are distinct, male and female.
God could have created just men or just women, but He created 2 distinct forms that would need one another for proper functioning of the human race.
We see this in the New Testament as well that we have been designed differently for the purpose of needing each other.
1 Corinthians 11:11-12
11 In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.
Men and women need each other for life.
Now the question is does this difference in design between men and women have any bearing on the roles we play in life?
The answer is yes.
God’s Design Determines our Role…
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It is not however yes, because
one sex is inferior to the other or
that Christianity teaches chauvinism
It is yes solely due to God’s perfect design.
Right from the very beginning we see, God designed men and women differently and one of the first things we see is the different role that He designed us for.
In
Genesis 2:15
15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
And in Genesis 2:18, God says
"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
So man he created to care for and rule over the earth and woman he created to be a helper to Adam in his role.
So
generally, mankind has been given the role to rule over the earth and
specifically,
men have the responsibility of being the head of that role and
women have the responsibility to be a help to men as the head.
Now in the New Testament we see some of the specifics of how to apply those role responsibilities in a couple of different places.
First, we see that
God’s design determines our role…
…in the home
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Ephesians 5:22-23
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Husbands are to be the head
Wives are to be the help mate
That is easy to quote, but the question for us is what does that look like practically?
Does it look like a husband ordering his wife around?
Does it look like a wife not speaking and pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen?
No.
We have plenty of examples from Scripture to know that is not what it should look like.
We see Priscilla and Aquilla working with Paul in Christian ministry.
We see women who spoke plainly with Jesus like Mary and Martha.
We see the Proverbs 31 woman active in running
the household and
a small business for the benefit of her family.
We have plenty of examples that show that women are not just ordered around at the pleasure of men and don’t speak or say anything.
Unfortunately, there have been points in the history of the church where it has been taught that women should only be quiet, barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.
That is wrong.
Within the home and within the marriage, women are to be recognized as equal in worth and respected even in the midst of a head and help mate relationship.
In fact not to do so is sin.
1 Peter 3:7
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Here is what a home should look like with a proper head and helpmate relationship.
It should look like a husband and wife discussing situations and the wife being the helpmate that she is supposed to be in
offering advice and
suggestions and
insight
into the best courses of action for a particular decision and
the husband being a good head of the home by
listening and
talking and
discussing these things with his wife and
hearing her advice and counsel
so the he will make the best possible decision.
Husbands, being the head of the home does not mean you make decisions apart from your wife.
It does mean that you will be responsible for decisions that get made in your home, so you better see to it that you have used the help that God has made available to you in your wife with her wisdom, gifts, and counsel.
Some Women not Happy
Now I know there will be some women who will not be happy with this arrangement, but understand this.
In the roles that God has given us, He holds us responsible for us fulfilling that role.
Husbands will be judged and held responsible for the decisions that get made in the home, regardless if they made that decision or not. The buck stops with them.
President of a Company
If you are a president in a company and you have responsibility to the board of directors for the things that go on in that company regardless if you make ever decision or not. You still have responsibility and will answer for the health of the company.
Husbands and Fathers, you will answer for the health of your family based upon your leadership or lack of leadership in the home.
Now wives will be judged and held responsible for how they were a help to their husbands in leading the home.
Going back to the business analogy, the role of a good Vice President is to help the President get his job done, not make yourselves look good.
They will be judged in their role for how they helped the president accomplish his task. That by no means makes his job unimportant. He needs to give wise counsel and help the president make good decisions, because he will be held responsible for how he helped the president.
Wives, are you helping your husband to see that the home runs smoothly and you’re your kids are being trained?
Now, I know that some wives are not going to be content in this role.
I want to tell you why that is so you might be able to resist the temptations of Satan to supersede God’s design for the home.
You are not going to be content sometimes with this because that is a result of the first sin. There will be times that your sin nature wants to take things into your own hands and make what you feel is the best decision regardless of what your husband says.
Listen to the curse that came upon women with the first sin.
Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
Women experience pain in childbirth now and they will desire the role that God gave to men. It is because of the curse of sin. I believe that if we know that, however, we will have a better chance of defeating Satan and his temptations to supersede God’s design.
Now I recognize that some women it seems are thrust into spiritual leadership roles in their homes. What do you do?
Well, as a godly helpmate, continue to do your best in seeing that your husbands responsibilities are accomplished and recognize you will be rewarded for that.
Abigail
A great example from the Old Testament of this type of helpmate is Abigail. She had a wicked husband, Nabal, but she worked to protect him and his household from calamity through her actions to divert David from killing him and his whole house.
She was rewarded based upon her fulfilling her role. She could have just said, good, David will come and kill my wicked husband and I will be free. Instead she fulfilled her role and was rewarded. Her husband died and she became David’s wife.
Now ladies, don’t think that if you fulfill your role God will kill your wicked husband, but do think that if you fulfill your role, you will be rewarded based upon that.
So God’s design determines our role in the home, but also,
God’s design determines our role…
…in the Church
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Does this mean that men and women can’t do any of the same things?
No.
Actually men and women are going to do a lot of the same things because both men and women have been given the same Spiritual gifts.
God’s design only determines our roles in a couple of very specific areas.
It determines who will Teach the Men
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1 Timothy 2:12-14
12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.
Some will say that Paul only did that because of the culture at Ephesus. There was false teaching that said women were superior and Paul was only countering that.
Notice, however, that Paul does not give any cultural reason for this prohibition but goes straight back to the created order as well as the first sin which brought the curse.
This explains not only why…men will teach men because God designed our roles that way.
But it also explains why a woman may desire what she wasn’t designed for…because of the sin which brought the curse.
Now we need to keep this teaching in context. Paul is giving Timothy advice in regards to the teaching of Christian doctrine within church life.
This does not mean that a woman can never be used to teach a man anything.
This also does not mean that a woman is not capable or does not have the ability to teach a man.
It only means that God did not design things that way and we glorify God as we stick to His design. And 100% of the time, when we stick to God’s design it is best in the long run.
Also
It determines who will Lead the Church
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1 Timothy 2:12-15
12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.
The church is made up of men and women, therefore, males should be in authority over the church because of God’s design of headship.
What is the position of authority in the church?
Elders, pastors, overseers, bishops.
Actually, that is all the same person or people. Those words are used interchangeably in the New Testament for the office of Elder.
Right after this passage, Paul gives the qualifications for Elder.
1 Timothy 3:1-7
3:1 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
Throughout this passage it talks about “he” and it talks only of being the “Husband.”
Being that the role of an elder is also a teaching role in the church, this would clearly indicate that God has designed this role for the man.
So what does this mean in reality in the church?
What would this look like in practice?
What can a woman do?
A woman can fill any role not specifically designed for a man.
Two of those roles we see as
teachers of Christian doctrine to men and
Elders in the church.
So a woman
would not be able to lead a Bible study designed for both men and women.
would not be able to have the authoritative role of elder or pastor in the church.
A woman would be able to exercise their gifts of leadership by leading a multitude of ministries or special events.
A woman would be able to exercise her teaching gifts in a variety of ways.
We have studies designed for women.
We have many women teaching our Kids.
We could have women teaching and leading in our youth groups
Men and women can both serve as ushers or greeters or be on the worship team.
There are plenty of places for all men and women to exercise every one of their gifts in the church and I thank God for the women leaders and teachers we have at Hickory Creek because we would not be able to function as well without them, just like we would not be able to function as well without men serving in the roles that God has designed and equipped them for.
Now, before we end, I need to say a word about the role of Deacon.
Can a woman serve as a Deacon?
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This is a bit more challenging in determining because there are some Scriptures that are difficult to interpret.
Paul gives requirements for Deacons that seem pretty clear and that resemble the requirements for Elders.
1 Timothy 3:8-13
8 Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
11 In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
12 A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.
Here, like the Elder role right before, Paul talks about men serving in this role.
It does talk about wives in this text which some seek to interpret as a woman deacon, as opposed to the wife of a Deacon, but, to me it seems unlikely because Paul has only included a few qualifications for the woman unlike the man.
If he would have meant for this to be a woman deacon, we would expect him to talk about some additional requirements like he gives for men.
Also, the first Deacons that were called were in Acts 6 were men.
In Acts 6:3, the apostles tell the church to “choose seven men from among you…”
Now, I do recognize that there is a verse in Romans 16:1 that speaks of Phoebe being a servant of the church at Cenchrea, which could also be translated deaconess since servant and deacon are the same word.
And unlike a women being an elder, a woman being a Deacon would not be a contradiction of 1 Timothy 2:12, because a Deacon role is not a leadership role as defined in the Bible, but a servant role. There is not the authority of leading the church that comes with the eldership role.
As a principal of interpretation, we should apply more weight to the scriptures that are clear than the ones that are less clear and could be interpreted differently.
So while we recognize that there is less support Biblically for women not to hold the office of Deacon as for the office of Elder, there still seems to be more clear support for that position than the other of having women participate in that role.
And ultimately to be a servant or have influence, does not require anyone to hold an office.
Influence is gained through faithfully fulfilling the roles God has given us.
It is my hope today that we as men and women, can faithfully fulfill the roles God has given each one of us in love and humility and have an influence on our culture for Christ so that we would be successful in ministering to the people of this community and sharing with them the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Let’s pray.
