“Spiritual Fathers”
I John 2:12-14
Today we honor fathers. One thing that helps us as parents is not to take life or our children too seriously. Having lots of humor keep us on track.
A father was reading Bible stores to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”
“Dad, will you help me with my homework?” “I’m sorry, son. It wouldn’t be right.” “Well, at least you could try.”
Anyone who thinks you can’t buy happiness has never sent the kids away to summer camp.
A boy came home with a bad report card. As he handed it to his father, he asked, “What do you think’s wrong, Dad, my heredity or my environment?”
Did you know that most instructions and directions are written at a 5th grade level? Some instructions seem very strange: the warning on a Rowenta iron says, “Do not iron clothes on your body.”
There’s a ski lift in Colorado and at 200 feet you pass a trestle that has a sign: “Warning: Jumping from ski lift will result in loss of lift ticket.”
Have you seen signs in the mall, “Ears pierced while you wait.” How else would you get ears pierced, on the go or “I’ll be back in 30 minutes will they be ready?”
Have you seen instructions on auto shades you put in front of your car to shield out the sun: “Warning: Do not drive car with Auto Shades in place.”
I John 2:12-14 gives three levels of spiritual maturity, “Children, Young Men, and Fathers.”
I. Children – Immature
“I’m writing to you, my dear children, because your sins have been forgiven because of Jesus.” I have written to you because you have known the Father.” I John 2:12,14 NLB
Children are part of God’s family, but are immature and need to grow and become strong in their Christian faith. In I Corinthians 3:1 Paul writes: “Dear brothers and sisters when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to mature Christians. I had to talk as through you belonged to this world or as through you were infants in the Christian life.” NLT
I had walked with the Lord for nearly ten years before I got married. After two years of marriage we had our first child. The birth of Tim brought a crisis in our marriage. I lacked maturity both spiritually and emotionally as an adult.
My immaturity showed up from time to time. I was attending Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, KY and Carollyn was teaching school. One Sunday morning I got ready for church, went to the car and waited for Carollyn and our son Tim. I waited and waited and to speed things up I honked the horn several times.
When Carollyn got in the car she didn’t mince any words. Next time I’ll go to the car and honk and you can pick up the house, get the dipper bag ready and our son dressed for church.
In many ways we don’t want to admit it but often it is like father like son. I grew up in a home where my dad who grew up on a far where he learned that men work outside and women work inside the house. Housework, taking care of children, washing and ironing is women’s work. Men work the fields and take care of the livestock. My dad followed in that same tradition and I grew up with the same views.
Through trial and error I learned, it took me a while, that marriage is a partnership and that meant pitching in to help with the children, housework and other inside jobs. We were no longer on the farm.
The scriptures are clear, we are to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength, and our neighbor as ourselves. For most of us our first neighbor is our own family. Financial pressures often cause the Biblical priorities for family to get mixed up. The Biblical priorities are God, Family, Work and Community. The pressures of finances and family often rearrange our priorities to God, work, family and community. When priorities get out of order the end result is regret. “Why? Did I allow my business to cause broken relationships?”
A survey was made of businessmen who were asked, “What were some of their greatest regrets.“ Two themes were repeated time and time again. First, “I was so busy taking care of company business that I never put my own financial house in order. Now I’m 55, and I have to do in ten years what I should have done in the first forty.”
Second, “I was so busy trying to improve my family’s standard of living that, before I knew it, my children were grown and gone, and I never got to know them. Now they are too busy for me.”
Immature Christians by their actions and life-style often have a negative impact in convincing others of the reality of God’s love.
David Jeremiah in his book, Signs of Life, records the story told by Dr. Harry Ironside about a missionary in China translating the New Testament into the Chinese language. The missionary was assisted by an eminent Chinese scholar; a Confusianist, who had never before been exposed to Christianity. Week after week and month after month they sat side by side working through the biblical text.
As they were completing the translation the missionary told his Confusianist friend that he had been a great help and could never have completed the project without him. The missionary asked the Confusianist if he had been touched by the love of Christ and good news of Christianity as they had translated the New Testament.
The Confucianist replied, “Yes, Christianity does appeal to me. I think it presents the most wonderful system of ethics I have ever known. I believe that if I ever saw a Christian, I might become more interested in becoming one myself.”
The missionary was shocked at his answer and said, “I am a Christian!”
The Confucian scholar told the Missionary that he hoped he would not be offended, but as he observed the missionary at work and interacting with people he saw something missing. As they studied the New Testament it taught that Christians who follow Jesus become his disciples if they have love for one another.
“You cannot be a Christian because I have listened to you talk about others in an unkind way. You worry about this and about that and if your check is a day late you fret and complain. The New Testament says that God will supply all your needs and you do not trust God. No, you cannot be a Christian. But I think that if I ever see one, I should like to be one.”
Pierced to the heart, the missionary broke down, sobbed out a confession, and asked God for forgiveness. He asked for the Confucian’s forgiveness as well. The missionary seemed so genuine that the Confusianist remarked: “Well, perhaps, I have seen a Christian after all…”
What is it that keeps people stuck in living on the level of spiritual immaturity?
Pride is one thing that keeps people from moving toward maturity. We don’t like to admit that we have weaknesses.
Some people enjoy being immature. “I’ll get angry if I want to. I’ll say what I want to say. I’ll do what I want to do. No one can stop me from being who and what I am.”
Some people are so full of themselves they have no time for others.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your family is a listening ear. Years ago in a Marriage Enrichment Seminar I heard Dr. Norman Write say to things that have stuck with me: “Communication is the key to success in marriage. Marriage is total commitment of the total person, for the total life.”
With God’s help and blessing we can move off the level of Children and move on to the level of “young men.”
II. Young Men – Strong in the Word
I John 2:13b, 14c “I am writing to you who are young because you have won your battle with Satan. I have written to you who are young because you are strong with God’s word living in your hearts, and you have won your battle with Satan.” NLT
One of the big differences in living on the “Children’s level” and on the “Young Men’s” level is consistency. Immature Christians tend to be sporadic in their walk with the Lord. Their faith is shallow and they have little time for practicing daily spiritual disciplines of prayer, reading the Bible, and being available to serve the Lord.
Young men have overcome the battle with Satan to live a life of inconsistency. Satan know that if he can keep new believers on the immature level of inconsistency there is a possibility that new believers will give up and go back to their old selfish ways.
Where have all the men strong in the word of God gone? It takes dedication and effort to become strong in the Word of God.
When we are strong in the Word of God we are committed to being open and honest. We are willing to admit it when we make a mistake. We are willing to say we are sorry and ask for forgiveness.
The first year we lived in Taylor, Michigan I commuted to the Dearborn Church 4 miles away where I served as Associate Pastor while developing a congregation in Taylor to start a new FMC. We had moved from Kansas City, Kansas to an old 80- year-old farm house located on five acres of property, the site for a new church building.
I had an office in the Dearborn Church and drove there every morning to study. One morning I got a frantic call from Carollyn. She said she needed me to come home quick and give a helping hand. She didn’t say what it was, she just said, come home quickly.
I jumped in our car and raced home. I walked into the house to see Carollyn sitting on top of our portable dishwasher and our nearly 5-year old son pounding on the floor and shooting his pop-gun.
The first thing I did was go to Wendel and tell him to stop pounding on the floor and making so much noise. Then I went to Carollyn and asked her what she was doing on the dishwasher. She told me that the house was being overrun with mice. Wendel was helping her to keep the mice out of the dining room and kitchen.
I helped Carollyn down from the dishwasher and then I went to Wendel and told him I was sorry for getting after him since he was helping his mother chase away the mice. He was the bold one and deserved my praise.
Where had all the mice come from? I opened the basement door and walked down the stairs. On near the bottom step I looked and saw a frog take a leap and jump into several inches of water. The basement was flooded and had driven the mice up into the house. We had someone come and get rid of the mice and we also installed a sump pump that ran often, pumping water out of the basement.
Years later Wendel as an adult told us that when I asked for his forgiveness, that experience had stayed with him and meant a lot to him.
I pray that men and women, fathers and mothers will all become strong in the Word of God and apply the teachings to their daily lives.
III. Fathers – Spiritually Mature
I John 2:13,14b “I am writing to you who are mature (fathers in NIV) because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I have written to you who are mature (fathers) because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning.”
The Apostle John repeats the teaching on spiritual maturity showing the importance he puts on this topic. A person demonstrates spiritual maturity when they are committed to becoming fully surrendered and fully devoted disciples.
Fathers of spiritual maturity have understanding and love toward their children.
Arnold Prater, in his book You Can Have Joy! Tells about a man in a little English village named John Deckard. He was a clerk in a textile factory. A modest and quiet man, he lived in an ordinary little house at the edge of town with his wife and his six-year-old son, Rob. Like thousands of Englishmen, every morning John put on his plain tweed suit, got on his bicycle, and rode to work. Returning home at five in the evening, he would work in his garden until suppertime. Then he would spend a quiet evening with family. He was a very ordinary man living what most people would call a very ordinary life. But he had one claim to fame. For five consecutive years he had won the blue ribbon in the Village Garden Show with his prize rose. It had gone on so long that people had come to expect it. John Deckard’s prize rose would win, and that was that.
Behind his house was his rose garden. When he returned home each evening, he would put on his coveralls and spend his time out there with his roses. Some said he had more than just "a way with flowers." Some said he mothered them, that he talked to them and that they understood what he said. This year, deep in his own heart, John Deckard knew that he would again win the blue ribbon, for this year his rose was truly a rose among roses. Never had he seen such perfection in a flower. This was his masterpiece and as he watched it daily, his contentment and pride grew.
The show was on Saturday and he planned to transplant his rose to a pot early in the morning. But while he was at breakfast, the tragedy happened. His little son Rob burst into the kitchen, and chatting excitedly he rushed to the table and cried, "Look Daddy, look what I have for you!" And in his grimy little hand, half its petals gone, its head drooping was John Deckard’s prize rose.
That afternoon, visitors to the Garden Show were astonished when they came to John Deckard’s entry. For in a flowerpot he had thrust a stick, and attached to it, at the very top, was a picture of his little son, Rob. When the judges heard what had happened, they gave John Deckard an honorary blue ribbon. Some said that the rose that was not a rose was the finest he had ever grown.
This father saw that developing a loving relationship with his son was more important than winning a trophy for a beautiful rose.
Spiritual fathers are committed to meeting the needs of their families. A husband’s first priority is to meet the needs of his wife.
Willard F. Handley in his book, His Needs, Her Needs, outlines five basic needs every husband need to meet for their wife.
1. Affection – show your love in practical ways.
a. When your wife returns home from being gone, don’t say, “It’s about time you got home.” But, “I missed you while you were gone.”
b. Give lots of hugs and kisses
c. Write notes of love
d. Give flowers on special days
e. Keep in touch by phone
2. Conversation – plan times to just talk.
a. Don’t dwell on past mistakes
b. Learn to do small talk
3. Honesty – be open and honest, no secrets
4. Money – manage your money with a spending budget so
You don’t get bogged down with stress from overdue bills.
5. Spiritual - your wife needs you to provide spiritual leadership in your home.
Spiritual Fathers leave a legacy for their children. The scriptures teach that a father’s blessing makes a great difference on the life of a son or daughter getting his blessing.
When Jesus began his public ministry God the Father gave His blessing. Following the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist a voice came from heaven saying, “You are my beloved Son, and I am fully pleased with you.”
You can bless your children with words of affirmation:
“I love you.”
“I believe in you.”
“I’m proud of you.”
Bless your children for who they are and not for what they do.
Determine to be a “Spiritual Father.” Plan to leave a spiritual legacy of God’s blessing to your family.
Prayer of commitment
