When I preached the previous sermon of this ‘one another’ series, I said that our repetitious theme would be, LOVE AS CHRIST LOVED US.
My wife’s comment to me during lunch afterwards was, “That’s the harshest sermon on love I’ve ever heard”. Anyone reading this who was there, may remember that some of that sermon was indeed rather unpleasant.
But I want to remind you that I also said in the beginning of that sermon, that some parts of this study would not be pleasant. They would be things difficult for us to hear.
Nevertheless, they are for our good, and they are things that I, as a teacher of God‘s Word, am obligated by the Word of God to tell you. They are for your instruction and for warning.
In fact, what I was doing in the second part of that previous sermon, was admonishing you.
That will be more fully explained today, as we study this verse from Romans 15.
“And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am
convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness,
filled with all knowledge, and able to ADMONISH
one another”
That word that is translated ‘admonish’ here in Romans 15, means to warn. I’ll be talking about the distinctions between this word and simply ‘objecting’, or ‘teaching’. It means to warn, as it does in other passages of Paul’s epistles.
Let’s look at one of those now. Turn to Colossians 3:16 for a moment and let’s read it.
“Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you,
with all wisdom teaching and admonishing
one another with psalms and hymns and
spiritual songs,...”
We needn’t go further with that verse right now.
I think that probably, when sermons are preached on Paul’s exhortation to admonish one another, this verse from Colossians is most likely to be used. It is certainly the most popular one; I’ve heard it read and quoted much more often than Romans 15:14.
But I chose the verse from Romans to be our text of study here, because of the spirit in which Paul was using the word, ‘admonish’.
In a sense, Paul is beginning the conclusion to his letter with this verse. In verse 15 he refers back to some of the things he has said in earlier chapters, and refers to his boldness in reminding them of some things, but in verse 14 he prefaces that comment with an expression of confidence that they themselves are mature and spiritual enough to remind each other.
Now remember that when Paul wrote the letter to the Romans he had never been to Rome. He had heard about their faith. He said accounts of their faith were being proclaimed throughout the whole world.
If you read the 16th chapter you will see that there were those in the church in Rome that he knew and had ministered with him in the past. So Paul knew some things about these people, and that is why he was able to say with confidence that they were full of goodness and knowledge and able to admonish one another.
So let’s talk about what ‘admonishment’ is, and what Paul saw in these Roman Christians that gave him such confidence; and discuss the proper time and method of admonition.
As I said, this word ‘admonish’ means to give warning. To instruct, to give counsel. This is not just an objection to another’s behavior. An example of what I mean can be found in I Samuel 2:24. Eli has grown old, and his sons are profaning the house of God .
They are lying with the women who serve at the temple, and they are taking sacrificial meat for themselves before it is properly boiled or the fat cut off.
Now, there is much to say about the implications of their actions, but the point I’m driving at is that Eli was guilty of being a patronizing and permissive father. And in verse 24 of chapter 2, rather than admonishing them for their actions, he simply objects.
“No my sons; for the report is not good which I hear the Lord’s people circulating”.
You see, the difference between admonition and remonstration (or objection), is that he was concerned about the gossip going around and what people were saying, when he should have been concerned about what the Lord said, and warning his sons about the wrath that was sure to come if they did not repent and turn from their ways.
In the 3rd and again the 7th chapters of Leviticus you’ll find instructions for the preparation of the sacrifices; boiling the meat for the priests and burning the fat as an offering to God. If you read those chapters you’ll see that God finished his instructions through Moses, saying that those who disobeyed or perverted these instructions were to be ‘cut off from the people of Israel’. That meant that they were to be stoned to death.
This is the kind of warning that Eli should have been giving his sons. He should have long since admonished them to obey the Lord and live,...not waited until the cup of God’s wrath against them was full, then simply objected that they were causing a stir of tongues among the people.
So if by this example you can clearly see the difference between admonition and simple objection (which really comes from selfish motives and not with a heart for the good of the guilty party), then you can begin to understand why the scriptures exhort us to admonish one another. If done in love, it is a very good thing.
By it we can save a brother from much harm and grief.
As Christians we understand what is pleasing to God and what is not.
But our silly minds and our sinful nature deceive us into thinking we can do what we want and presume upon God’s grace to get away with selfish and ungodly behavior. We need to be accountable to each other.
We need Christian leaders and friends who observe our wanderings, then come to us in love (and in private), not to object, but to warn and turn the wise man back from his folly.
Listen to this quote I ran across just this week in my own casual reading. It applied so well I had to include it here:
“It is a precious doctrine that the saints are safe, but it is a damnable inference from it that they may live as they please. It is a glorious truth that God will keep His people, but is an abominable falsehood that sin will do them no harm. Remember that God gives us liberty, not license, and while He gives protection, He will not allow presumption.”
-Spurgeon
All of us need occasional, loving admonition, Christians. Pastors are instructed to do it, and believers in general are instructed to do it. The problem is, too many are not spiritually mature enough to do it properly; or simply do not love enough to know when admonition is called for, and when they’re really going to someone in dirty rotten meanness, instead of humility and love.
So let’s talk now about some qualifications and requirements of proper admonishing.
First of all, we must LOVE AS CHRIST LOVED US.
You can’t properly admonish someone with whom you have no relationship. They won’t receive it from you, and chances are, if you do not know them well, you will be wrong in your assessment of their actions.
You must be ‘full of goodness’.
That is, you must be living a holy, Christ-like life. You must be mature enough to remove the log from your own eye before you try to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
If we are to grow spiritually, we must be mature enough to admonish and to take admonishing.
If we do this according to biblical guidelines, it will not spill over into judgmentalism.
The key is to clean up your own act before you try to clean up someone else’s act.
The old adage that you shouldn’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes has some merit. If you don’t really know someone then you can’t know all that may be lying behind their attitudes or their actions. Until you know the facts, you are in no place to admonish them.
The only exception to that, is if you can see very clearly that there is scriptural principle being violated.
This brings up the next point. You must be filled with knowledge.
You must have adequate knowledge and insight into God’s Word.
We must know the difference between the absolutes of God’s Word and the non-absolutes of society and our own interpretations.
We have to be careful and watch out for extra-biblical knowledge and cultural Christianity.
By extra-biblical knowledge I mean those things that we think are right or necessary, but are not scripturally grounded. It may be tradition, or simply ‘what grandpa said was gospel’... or ‘the way we’ve always done it’... There are lots of things we think are biblical which are not, simply because we grew up hearing or thinking those things.
Cultural Christianity is similar. It is those convictions which have become generally accepted by a people or a culture, but have no biblical precedent or foundation.
We must be sure we are on biblical ground and that we are interpreting correctly, or rightly dividing the scriptures. If it is not specifically spelled out in the Word of God, don’t confront another on it. If it is, make sure you use the scripture as your ground.
Most admonishing that goes on in the body is ‘here is what I think you are doing wrong and what I think you should do’.
That is not the kind of admonition that is based on LOVING AS CHRIST LOVE US.
It is not based on knowledge.
Those are some qualifications; let’s talk about methods.
As I’ve already said, proper admonition must be done with deep concern and love.
Secondly, it must be done on a personal basis.
That means I go to you personally and privately. I don’t tell others what I think you are doing wrong and what I think you should be doing. I go to you directly, and not with an audience.
The goal is to help, not to shame.
It must be a persistent thing. It is a relationship thing, not a ’correction’ thing. It is not a one time, ’you got the message, now straighten up’ kind of approach.
Remember that it is based on relationship. If admonition is called for, then do it, but remember to be there for that person to encourage and strengthen as they go. If we are committed to each other we will help each other to maturity.
Finally, it must be done with pure motives.
Most of what passes for admonishing these days is not done with pure, biblical motives. That is because we do not understand correction and because we are afraid of each other.
We’re afraid of rejection, we are afraid of losing friendships, or of being criticized in return. Because we’re afraid we usually bark out what should be said with all tenderness and humility.
Let’s remember the purpose of correction:
“And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ.
And for this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.” Colossians 1:28,29
“...until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature of which belongs to the fullness of Christ.
As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming: but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ.” Ephesians 4:13-15
Our goal is to help one another to maturity. That is all. That is the only purpose that is worthy of Christ.
Before you go to someone in admonition, ask yourself; “Is my life full of goodness? Am I living holy myself? Am I really in a position to confront someone else’s wrongs?”
If you are in sin, or you are not in perfect obedience to God’s Word, you must not attempt to admonish others.
“Do I really know what the Bible teaches about holy living and righteousness? Do I really know what it says about the matter I am attempting to correct? Do I have a clear understanding, or am I just operating on an opinion (mine or someone else’s)?”
“Am I doing this for the right reason? Do I really want to help the other person fulfill their rightful place with God, or do I just want to feel important, or do I just want them to do it my way? Be like me?”
“Am I going to this person in private? Is this a matter between that person and me, or am I letting others know about it? Am I making myself look important at another person’s expense?”
“Am I persistent without being obnoxious? Am I really there for that person, for their sake; to help them through?”
“Am I truly building up by going to this person? Or am I tearing down?”
“Is my sole purpose to help the other person mature in Christ? Have I attained the same level of maturity that I am expecting from them?”
Christian once you have asked these questions of yourself, remember that you do have a responsibility here. You can not calmly ignore the sin around you and not say anything. You can not watch your brothers and sisters in Christ plunge headlong into error and not speak up.
Read the gospels with this in mind and you will see Christ constantly admonishing ...warning... against sin and the judgment to come. He still does that through His Word, and through His teachers, and through Christians who dare to LOVE AS CHRIST LOVED US.
The main temptation you may need to be concerned about is the temptation to place yourself above the person you are admonishing. But remember, today you may be on the giving end, tomorrow you may be on the receiving end.
You are your brother’s keeper, but you are not his judge. You are not his watch dog.
You’re not the hall monitor. We are family and should be watching after each other as loving family; not as ‘conscience commandos‘.
Let me draw this to a close by stressing this point. We are a family. God sees us as a family. When there is not proper admonition within the body...when it is done out of meanness or jealousy or judgmentalism...or when it is not done at all and gossip takes its place,... it is because we are not seeing each other as family.
It is because we are relating to each other as strangers, as rivals, as enemies...
...and it ought not to be that way.
Do you all know what a pre-emptive strike is? Here is an example. The nation of Israel is surrounded by enemies on every side. Most of those enemies have the capability of nuclear attack, and they all have missiles aimed at Israel. So the Israeli military cannot afford to wait until someone else fires the first shot. At any indication their intelligence sources get that someone is going to attack, Israel is prepared to fire first and, if possible, knock out that enemy before they get a chance to fire off a missile. It’s called a “pre-emptive strike”.
Christians, it is the great shame of the church today, that this is how we far too often relate to one another. Like enemies with pointed missiles; each one prepared for a pre-emptive strike if we even get a hint that someone else may in some way get the better of us; or be seen as more important than us; or get away with something we think is wrong but that the bible does not address.
It ought not to be this way.
We are brothers and sisters who know that we are all sinners, saved by grace, bound for the promised land. The road is not smooth; the days can be harsh; the load can be heavy. We need to continually help one another in this Christian walk!
We must not be afraid to admonish one another in love; but we must be sure to do it in love, so that the result is growth and maturity and a stronger bond between the brethren.
Not strife, not division, not anger and hurt; but a fierce, all-for-one-and-one-for-all love that manifests Christ-likeness in the body and to the world around us.
Look to yourself first. Be full of Christ’s goodness; be filled with the knowledge of the Word. Then, and only then, as you see the need arise, admonish one another with a humble, sacrificial, Christ-like love.
Here is a secret for you to learn today: The more we love, the less occasion we will find to admonish.
True, active love is a pre-emptive strike in itself. It pre-empts a whole lot of hurt, and offense, and trespass...and covers a multitude of sins.
