Jonathan – Covenant Friend
A Covenant friend is Committed (v. 18:1-4; 20:16-42)
A Covenant friend is Loyal (v. 4)
A Covenant friend is Accountable (v. 8)
A Covenant friend is Honest (v. 9-15)
A Covenant Friend is Christ Centered (many verses, Lord)
Jonathon is a good example of a Covenant Friend
Jesus is the perfect example of a Covenant Friend
Slide
Friends. Everyone likes to have friends.
No matter how old you are, no matter how wealthy you are, if you don’t have friends, life does not seem all that great.
I spoke with a lady this week who was in quite a poor situation. She had no place to live and no church family, no friends that were willing to help and family that she was estranged from.
We talked for a bit and I told her that god has designed us to live in relationship with other people and when we cut ourselves off from others, and we have cut ourselves off from help that could receive if we had been in relationship with other people.
Scripture even confirms this in Ecclesiastes 4.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Pity the man who does not have a friend to help when he is in need.
Now I have known people with a lot of “friends” (quote unquote), but when times got hard, they found that they weren’t friends at all, but only acquaintances.
Proverbs 18:24
24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
True friendship is found in the depth of relationships.
Someone once defined a friend as someone who comes in when everyone else goes out.
How do we find friend like that?
We find friends like that by being a friend like that.
There is the rub.
Many of us are not a friend to others like that.
We have superficial relationships because we think it will protect us from getting hurt.
Well, sometimes it will cause hurt in our lives. But the fullness and joy or experiencing close relationships with a friend outweighs the risk.
Sermon Series Transition
In our series, From Ordinary to Extraordinary, we have been looking at ordinary individuals of the Bible that God used in extraordinary ways.
Today we are going to look at an extraordinary friend of David. Someone who was there for David and helped him in his time of need. I think after we finish you will agree that this person truly was extraordinary.
His name was Jonathan and he was the first born son of King Saul, the first king of Israel.
Now some of you may say that he is not ordinary, he is the son of a king. How can he be ordinary? Those that are rich and powerful are not ordinary. They can have and do whatever they want. The rules don’t apply to them so of course they can do extraordinary things.
The risks they take to do the extraordinary are limited because they can buy or use their power to mute the consequences.
Think OJ or Paris Hilton.
Well, in Jonathan’s case, I would argue that it is just because of his privileged position, that it makes the things he did truly extraordinary and something for us to take a look at this morning.
We are going to be reading 1 Samuel 20 on p. 206 (turn there)
Slide
Now as you turn there, I want you to understand the position of Jonathan.
As the first born son of King Saul, he is next in line to be king after his father.
This is important for us to understand if we are going to understand the extraordinary friendship he had with David.
Now, before we read 1 Samuel 20, I want to read 1 Samuel 18:1-4.
This takes place right after David killed Goliath.
Jonathan, a man of God, recognized David as a man of God and they became soul mates and made a covenant with one another.
1 Samuel 18:1-4
18:1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
So what does it mean that Jonathan made a covenant with David?
What does it mean to be covenant friends?
Well, here we wee that
Covenant Friends are Committed
Slide
Now we are going to talk about in a minute what being committed looks like, but it is this it is this commitment that Jonathan makes with David that makes him so extraordinary.
That is because he doesn’t have to make this commitment.
He is the king’s son.
Who wouldn’t want to hang out with him and be friends with him?
He did not have to make a covenant with David, to commit to being his friend, but he does.
Commitment is something that I don’t think we see so much in this day and age. Commitment is costly. But it is costly because what commitment brings with it is valuable.
So let’s take a look this morning at what commitment really involves as we read 1 Samuel 20 and look at the friendship of David and Jonathan.
1 Samuel 20
1 Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, "What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?"
2 "Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why would he hide this from me? It’s not so!"
3 But David took an oath and said, "Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, ’Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death."
4 Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you."
5 So David said, "Look, tomorrow is the New Moon festival, and I am supposed to dine with the king; but let me go and hide in the field until the evening of the day after tomorrow. 6 If your father misses me at all, tell him, ’David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to Bethlehem, his hometown, because an annual sacrifice is being made there for his whole clan.’ 7 If he says, ’Very well,’ then your servant is safe. But if he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is determined to harm me. 8 As for you, show kindness to your servant, for you have brought him into a covenant with you before the LORD. If I am guilty, then kill me yourself! Why hand me over to your father?"
9 "Never!" Jonathan said. "If I had the least inkling that my father was determined to harm you, wouldn’t I tell you?"
10 David asked, "Who will tell me if your father answers you harshly?"
11 "Come," Jonathan said, "let’s go out into the field." So they went there together.
12 Then Jonathan said to David: "By the LORD, the God of Israel, I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? 13 But if my father is inclined to harm you, may the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away safely. May the LORD be with you as he has been with my father. 14 But show me unfailing kindness like that of the LORD as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, 15 and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family-not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth."
16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD call David’s enemies to account." 17 And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.
18 Then Jonathan said to David: "Tomorrow is the New Moon festival. You will be missed, because your seat will be empty. 19 The day after tomorrow, toward evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the stone Ezel. 20 I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target. 21 Then I will send a boy and say, ’Go, find the arrows.’ If I say to him, ’Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them here,’ then come, because, as surely as the LORD lives, you are safe; there is no danger. 22 But if I say to the boy, ’Look, the arrows are beyond you,’ then you must go, because the LORD has sent you away. 23 And about the matter you and I discussed-remember, the LORD is witness between you and me forever."
24 So David hid in the field, and when the New Moon festival came, the king sat down to eat. 25 He sat in his customary place by the wall, opposite Jonathan, and Abner sat next to Saul, but David’s place was empty. 26 Saul said nothing that day, for he thought, "Something must have happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean-surely he is unclean." 27 But the next day, the second day of the month, David’s place was empty again. Then Saul said to his son Jonathan, "Why hasn’t the son of Jesse come to the meal, either yesterday or today?"
28 Jonathan answered, "David earnestly asked me for permission to go to Bethlehem. 29 He said, ’Let me go, because our family is observing a sacrifice in the town and my brother has ordered me to be there. If I have found favor in your eyes, let me get away to see my brothers.’ That is why he has not come to the king’s table."
30 Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, "You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? 31 As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must die!"
32 "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" Jonathan asked his father. 33 But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David.
34 Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the month he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David.
35 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. He had a small boy with him, 36 and he said to the boy, "Run and find the arrows I shoot." As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 When the boy came to the place where Jonathan’s arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him, "Isn’t the arrow beyond you?" 38 Then he shouted, "Hurry! Go quickly! Don’t stop!" The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 (The boy knew nothing of all this; only Jonathan and David knew.) 40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, "Go, carry them back to town."
41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side [of the stone] and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most.
42 Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ’The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’" Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.
PRAY
One of the first things we see in this passage is that
Covenant Friends are Loyal
Slide
Look in Verse 4.
After David explains the situation he is facing to Jonathan,
4 Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you."
He is loyal to David. He is willing to do what needs to be done to support his friend.
What does it mean to be loyal?
If you look up loyalty in a dictionary, you will find synonyms such as
True hearted,
steadfast,
dependable.
Being loyal, Jonathan puts David’s welfare ahead of his own. David turns to his loyal friend whom he knows he can depend on to be true to him.
This is one of the defining traits of a committed, covenantal friendship or relationship.
Are you a loyal person?
Can other people depend upon you?
When you are a covenant friend, you are committing to be there for your friend when they have a need.
Being committed and loyal is going to mean sacrificing sometimes.
Maybe you sacrifice sleep to be there for a friend in need.
Maybe you are going to sacrifice what you would rather be doing to help someone else.
Being loyal, being dependable, even to the point of being sacrificial is part of what is involved in being covenant friends.
Another trait we see from Jonathan & David is that
Covenant Friends are Accountable
Slide
Look at what David says to Jonathan in
1 Samuel 20:8
8 As for you, show kindness to your servant, for you have brought him into a covenant with you before the LORD. If I am guilty, then kill me yourself! Why hand me over to your father?"
He is saying, you see
if I deserve death.
if I have done anything wrong.
I make myself accountable to you.
I am willing to listen to you and receive what you have to say, regardless of how painful it is to me.
Accountability is not what most people view as fun.
We think being unaccountable is better than being accountable.
Accountability is a blessing to us. It helps us to live in a way that is better for us.
You see our sin nature dogs us. It seems to go with us wherever we go.
If we had ultimate unaccountability, then our sin nature would reap incredible havoc on our life.
We would say things without thinking.
We would act in ways that actually end up harming us.
There would be chaos and anarchy and nobody would be able live safely.
And we would live in the most destitute of situations, one without friends of any kind.
But thankfully, there are institutions that make us accountable.
The Police and the courts are aids to us to act right.
But they only regulate our broad public conduct.
We need close, covenant relationships to help us be accountable in our private moral lives.
We need to be willing to give one or two others permission to ask us anything about our lives, our thought life, our home life, how we are treating others, what we have been filling our mind with, how our relationship with the Lord is going, how we are doing as a father, what we are doing to help us be a good husband?
When we have others that we have given permission to hold us accountable, it will help us be better.
Being accountable gives us the encouragement we need to live right and to live life to the full.
But covenant friends are not only committed, loyal and accountable, but
Covenant Friends are Honest
Slide
1 Samuel 20:9-13
9 "Never!" Jonathan said. "If I had the least inkling that my father was determined to harm you, wouldn’t I tell you?"
10 David asked, "Who will tell me if your father answers you harshly?"
11 "Come," Jonathan said, "let’s go out into the field." So they went there together.
12 Then Jonathan said to David: "By the LORD, the God of Israel, I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? 13 But if my father is inclined to harm you, may the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away safely.
Covenant Friends are honest with one another.
This is important. Being a true friend does not involve just telling a person what they want to hear. It involves telling them the truth, being honest with them.
Now, it does not involve hurting them intentionally with the truth, but speaking the truth in love as Ephesians 4:15 tells us.
This is not always easy, but sometimes it is necessary.
This is why it is so important to be have one or 2 people that are committed to you.
When you have friends that you know are committed to you, you know that when they say things that are sometimes painful to hear, you know that they are speaking for your good.
Proverbs 27:6
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
We can trust that our covenant friends are not looking to hurt us even when the truth will hurt, but are looking to be honest with us for our good.
Covenant Friends are honest with each other.
Finally, and most importantly,
Covenant Friends are Christ Centered
Slide
Their friendship together is bonded and tied together because it is God centered.
Look at these verses
12 Then Jonathan said to David: "By the LORD, the God of Israel, I will surely sound out my father
13 But if my father is inclined to harm you, may the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know
14 But show me unfailing kindness like that of the LORD
15 and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family-not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth."
21… as surely as the LORD lives
22 …’ then you must go, because the LORD has sent you away.
23 … the LORD is witness between you and me forever."
42 … we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD
If you are a Christian, understand this: It is not possible to be covenant friends with someone else who is not a Christian, even further, who is not Christ centered.
You cannot be a covenant friend unless you are Christ Centered.
It is only in Christ that we are truly able to be committed, loyal, accountable, and honest.
It is only in Christ that we can hope to overcome our sin nature.
Apart from being in Christ, we can never be those things to the fullest extent possible and we will never experience the fullness of being or having a covenant relationships.
Jonathan has left us an extraordinary example of what it is to be a covenant friend.
David was truly blessed to have a friend in Jonathan.
Jonathan is an extraordinary example of what a covenant friend is.
If you ever desire to have a covenant friend like Jonathan in your life, you need to work at being that type of friend. You need to seek to instill the qualities of what being a covenant friend means.
Being willing to commit, being loyal, accountable, and honest.
But to be any of those you must start with the last thing we talked about – Being Christ centered.
This means you must be first in covenant relationship with the perfect covenant friend, Jesus Christ
If you aren’t in that relationship, then you will never be and never have a friend like Jonathan.
He is Loyal
Jesus has shown us the extent of his loyalty to us.
John 15:13-15
13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
(from New International Version)
He holds us accountable
Jesus has given us His Spirit to help us be accountable by convicting us of our sin.
He is honest with us
Through the Spirit and word, Jesus is honest with us about our nature and how we should be living.
He is committed
He is committed to us, even when we were not committed to him.
Romans5:8 tells us that
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That is commitment.
We can have a covenant friend in Jesus that we can have in no one else.
But if you ever want to experience the human relationships to the depth that God desires us to, you must first experience the divine relationship that God has made available through Jesus.
We enter into that relationship by receiving Jesus as our Savior, believing in Who He is and what He has done for us.
John 1:12
12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- (from New International Version)
How do we receive Him?
Romans 10:9-10
9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. (from New International Version)
If you would like to begin a friendship with God today, then pray with me that you believe in Who He is and what He has done as we confess with our mouth.
If you have already entered into that covenant friendship with Jesus, then ask for help in being the covenant friend to others he wants you to be and can enable you to be.
Let’s pray for that now.
Pray.
