Title: Forgiven
Truth: Forgiven people must be forgiving people.
Aim: I want to encourage the practice of biblical forgiveness.
Resource: Forgiveness, Gary Inrig
INTRODUCTION
When Kay Lee married Tom Goetz, she was sure she had found her Prince Charming. Their courtship and wedding all seemed like a fairy tale—a huge ring, an engagement announcement on the front page of the society section, a lavish wedding, and an exotic Bermuda honeymoon. However, reality made a rude entrance on the honeymoon when Tom sat her down in their hotel suite and said, “You are now Mrs. Frank Thomas Goetz, Jr., and there are things I don’t like about you.” Then he began to list her shortcomings, things that needed to change for her to be worthy to bear his name.
Tom was from a wealthy family and a gifted athlete who had received offers from several major-league baseball teams. He turned them down to enter into the family business. Later, he accepted a commission into the navy. Despite his obvious potential, he seemed unable to find his place or finish what he had started. In time, Kay would learn that her husband was battling maniac depression.
Tom and Kay had two children. She was a trained nurse but began a modeling career. To outsiders they seemed to be the All-American family but behind closed doors the marriage was in serious trouble. Kay said, “I had a mink, I had money, and I was miserable.” She professed to be a Christian but it wasn’t real.
After six years she had enough. She took the kids and left, spiraling into promiscuity and a long affair with a married man. Tom wanted her back, whining, “Kay give me a reason to live; I’m thinking of killing myself.” Trying to shock him out of his self-pity she said, “Go ahead and kill yourself. I could use the money from the insurance.” She shook her fist at God, blaming Him for her situation.
But none of the men or anything else she tried could fill her emptiness. One night at a party, a friend told her, “Why don’t you quit telling God what you want and tell Him that Jesus Christ is all you need?”
“Jesus is not all I need,” she shot back. “I need a husband. I need a home. I need ____,” and she walked away. The Holy Spirit would not leave her alone that night. The next morning she found herself on her knees crying out to God, “God, I don’t care what you do to me. Please, just give me peace!” At that moment, she says, “God gave me the Prince of Peace.” Instantly, she understood her need for Christ and opened her heart to receive Him. She said she went down on her knees a harlot, and stood up a saint.
The change was dramatic. She stopped dressing provocatively. Her divorce was final and she had no desire for reconciliation. As she grew in her new found faith she became convinced the Lord wanted her to try to restore the marriage. It was too late. Before she could make contact with Tom, he had hung himself. Her guilt was overwhelming. She took it to the Sin-bearer who’d paid for all her past, present, and future sins.
A new love gripped her heart. It was to know God’s Word. She enrolled in a Christian college and met and married Jack Arthur. In time Kay began a Bible-teaching ministry, Precept Ministries, that reaches around the world in study groups, radio, and television. She is the author of almost a hundred books. Kay Arthur has never gotten over the fact that she is a forgiven woman.
Maybe your story is not so dramatic or painful but we all need forgiveness. We need forgiveness from God and others. We need to extend the gift of forgiveness as well. The turning point in Caleb and Catherine’s marriage in the movie Fireproof started with Caleb experiencing God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Once he understood how much God forgave him, he was able to extend that forgiveness and grace to his wife.
Forgiveness was most significant to Jesus. He taught his disciples about it regularly. It’s found in his instructions on prayer and is a key subject in his most famous stories like the Prodigal Son. But most powerful of all, He died to make it possible for us to be forgiven. The rest of the New Testament makes it plain that followers of Jesus are to live a new life, a life of forgiveness.
There are two kinds of forgiveness spoken of in the Bible: judicial forgiveness and relational forgiveness. Today we are looking at three texts from your Fireproof lesson to understand and apply judicial and relational forgiveness. The Bible teaches that forgiven people must be forgiving people.
First, let me explain judicial forgiveness.
I. GOD FORGIVES (1 JOHN 1:5-10)
Suppose you have a relative that wronged you in a way that could have severe legal consequences. Though he deserves to be punished you choose to release him from any liability. He is judicially forgiven. Your relationship with him is free of any legal obstructions. That doesn’t mean you don’t have some personal issues to work out, but there are no laws that hinder your relationship. Judicial forgiveness doesn’t remove the need for relational forgiveness.
1 John 2:2 says Jesus is our atoning sacrifice for our sin. When believers stand before God as Judge, because of our faith in Christ, we are considered once and for all innocent of breaking his laws. But we also have a relationship with God as our Father. Many times we rebel against his love and will. He forgives us when we repent. This keeps our relationship close and loving.
For example, in the Lord’s Prayer Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” (Matt. 6:12). This is a prayer for Christians. Jesus was teaching about relational forgiveness not judicial forgiveness. If we refuse to forgive another believer, who is also loved by God, it will affect my relationship with my heavenly Father. My status as a member of the family of God is not threatened but my close relationship with God is harmed. 1 John 1:5-10 deals with conditions we need to enjoy His presence.
First, we don’t set the conditions to enjoy His presence. God is light. That symbol is used to describe God’s character. Light represents moral purity, perfect truth, and life-giving power. In other words, God is perfect. He doesn’t need to change anything. If we are going to have a relationship with Him then we are the ones that need to change. We don’t set the conditions for enjoying his presence, he does. A Christian whose habitual lifestyle is contrary to what the Bible teaches, and claims to have a living, loving relationship with God, that things are ok between him and God, is lying.
God set the terms for fellowship with Him. Our sin matters. It affects our relationship with Him. I’m not talking about living a perfect life. The word “walk” refers to a person’s consistent conduct. A habitual lifestyle of disobedience to God’s will reveals that he doesn’t know fellowship with God.
I love my grandchildren. I want to be with them. But if they try to come to the table to eat covered in dirt and with muddy hands, they are going to discover that isn’t an option. They need cleansing. It will do no good to remind me how much I love them or that they aren’t as dirty as I claim.
Fellowship at the table requires clean hands. Often I lead them to the place and help in cleaning their hands. I want them at the table, but they are to come on my terms, not theirs. God’s daily forgiveness is based on his terms, walking in the light, not ours.
Second, access to the table requires confession. Read v. 8-9. That phrase in v. 8, “without sin,” is used four times in John’s Gospel (9:41; 15:22, 24; 19:11). Each time it suggests the idea of having guilt, not just having done something wrong. Psychologist and lawyers have perfected the art of proclaiming that people who have done something wrong are not guilty. “It’s not my fault. You caused me to do that.”
On April 13, 2001, Luke Casteel walked into a pub in Elgin, Illinois, with four guns. Determined to repay an insult, he opened fire while laughing and shouting “I’m a natural born killer,” and “I’m the king!” Within moments, two people were dead and sixteen others lay wounded. His victims were total strangers. At his trial, he was asked if he had any remorse. He said, “Any feeling I have in that regard I’ll keep between myself and the Lord. As ironic as this sounds, I’m a passionate, giving person. I like to think I’m a pretty good person. I’m not the one to hurt anyone that doesn’t provoke me.” In other words, Luke Casteel was saying, “I’m not guilty. You caused me to do this.”
If there is any attitude, behavior, spirit, or habit that is contrary to the character and will of God that you dismiss as your fault, you have this spiritual disorder. You are living in darkness. You are self-deceived. The Holy Spirit wants to give you light right now about that sin.
There is a cure for self-deception. It is confession. Confession is not just admitting that you’ve done wrong. Confession is also agreeing with God that your sin is wrong. Your mind is convinced, “This is wrong.” But your heart is broken too, “This is wrong!”
The promise to those who confess is more than we could have ever asked or thought. He not only forgives us of our sin, but he cleanses us of other areas of unrighteousness that are offensive to Him as well. He makes us totally fit to experience the joy of His fellowship.
A British newspaper once held a contest for the most sensational headline that used no more than four words. Among the most amusing and arresting entries, an obvious winner was: “Pope elopes.” Can you imagine the media frenzy that would create? But there is a better headline. The problem is our familiarity has dulled its drama and shock. Here it is: “Christ crucified!”
God’s beloved Son, His most treasured relationship in the universe, is executed in the cruelest of ways. He is treated like a despicable, dangerous criminal. He died for sinners and in the place of sinners. Why? So that you and I could be forgiven once and for all. So we could live in close fellowship with God. God forgives.
Based on that understanding, now we can talk about forgiving others.
II. THE FORGIVEN FORGIVE (MATTHEW 18:21-35)
C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely word, until they have something to forgive.” Someone else said, “Forgiveness is like passing a kidney stone. It hurts like crazy at the time but feels so good when it’s gone!” I’ve never passed a kidney stone but I have had to ask for forgiveness, so I do understand the comparison.
Matthew builds his Gospel around five major blocks of Jesus’ teaching. This is in the fourth block and it describes the relationships that followers of Jesus are to have in the church. They are to practice humility and forgiveness. Jesus tells this story to emphasize that forgiven people must be forgiving.
In the previous verses, Jesus explains the process of regaining an offending brother. It’s my observation that this passage is so little practiced that either most Christians are ignorant of this procedure or they willfully disobey to satisfy their desire for revenge. The basic principle is to keep the issue as private as you possibly can. Gossip and stirring up others is absolutely forbidden. Do everything within your power to reconcile the problem.
Peter hears Jesus describe the effort we are to go to restore a brother, and it is as if he says, “Good grief! That’s all fine and good but how many times do I have to go through this? How many times do I have to forgive this knucklehead?” Peter knew the rabbis taught three times. After that you don’t have to forgive them any more. He also knows Jesus. So he doubles the rabbi’s teaching and adds one for good measure. Seven times. That would be perfect forgiveness. Surely there are limits to how many times you have to forgive someone who keeps doing you wrong even if they have genuinely repented?
Peter must have thought Jesus misspoke when He answered, “70 x 7.” So Jesus tells this powerful story of a man forgiven a sum of money that would be equivalent to the national debt. He could never repay this sum of money in a hundred lifetimes. Yet the king forgives the debt. By that I mean, the king pays the debt and releases this man from his much deserved guilt and punishment. But the problem is the forgiven steward refuses to forgive or even extend credit to a man who owes him an amount equal to half a year’s wages. Someone estimated it was 1/60,000th of the amount the forgiven steward was forgiven. By throwing the man in jail, he vindictively punishes the man. He makes the borrowers condition far worse.
There are servants who have seen both sides of this story. The steward’s behavior is so reprehensible that they report him to the king. They knew how much this steward was forgiven, and they just expected he would be a forgiving man.
I’m sure you’ve talked to someone who said the reason they don’t come to church is because of hypocrites. I wonder if the hypocrisy they see has to do with forgiveness. We talk so much about being forgiven but when they look at our homes, churches, and the people we relate to in our everyday life, they don’t see much forgiveness.
The king calls the steward back. He sends him to prison to be tortured until the debt is paid. This is a life sentence. An unforgiving spirit is a torture chamber. We won’t be released from its evil until we forgive.
The movie I Walk the Line is the story of Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash and his father lived tortured lives because they couldn’t forgive one another over the accident that killed Johnny’s older brother. So many of the demons that almost destroyed his life were traced to the torture of not being forgiven and not forgiving. Evil things happen to people. Some have been deeply hurt. God can heal. Get help to let it go. Stop the torture.
What is Jesus telling Peter by his answer and illustration? As a Christian, we have been called to a new way of life. As forgiven people we are to share God’s forgiveness with others. Forgiven people must be forgiving. Revenge as a response is no longer an option for us.
This is Rob’s story:
My father died when I was eight months old, and my mother remarried just after my third birthday. My stepfather was at first aloof, and as I grew older, I saw him to be obsessive and controlling. When I was twelve, my stepfather called me one day, in a real temper over a trivial task that I had not done to his satisfaction. He completely lost control of himself and punched me in the face, breaking my nose and laying me out unconscious. That day, fear turned to hate. As I grew stronger, the day drew inevitably nearer when some incident would spark an argument between us, and I would take my revenge.
Thankfully, I found Christ in my middle teen years and became his follower. One of the first things he did was to overwhelm me with his love, unconditional acceptance, and forgiveness. One of the first things God asked of me, almost as evidence of my changed heart, was to give up my bitterness toward my stepfather although his behavior had become increasingly irrational and the marriage to my mother failed. In the light of the forgiveness I had received, this was easy.
As an adult I continued to send Christmas cards and basic family news even long after I had moved away. I never heard anything in return. Then two summers ago, I was contacted by a hospital when my stepfather had been admitted following a stroke. I arranged to visit and found a dejected little old man. At our first meeting, he cried and said he was sorry for the way he had treated me as I grew up. I was finally able to tell him how I had been able to forgive him because of how Jesus had forgiven me. While I had lived in freedom down the years, the guilt of his actions had obviously been gnawing away at him. I was finally able to set him free too. We haven’t grown close since, but meet every once in a while. I keep praying that he will also find the forgiveness of Jesus himself before his earthly days are done. (Ingris, p. 104-105)
God forgives. The forgiven forgive. Forgiven people must be forgiving.
Briefly, I want to explain one more verse from your lesson this week. Find Colossians 3:12-14.
III. THE FORGIVEN FOREBEAR (COLOSSIANS 3:12-14)
It’s been alleged that the Republican party will spend $150,000 on Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s wardrobe and makeup. Senator Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits were donated to her. They cost $6,200. John McCain wears $500 shoes. Paul tells us every well-dressed Christian has forgiveness and forbearance as an essential part of his wardrobe.
The central command of this text is v. 13… The word “grievance” means that a real wrong has been committed. This is not just someone who is sensitive and easily offended. When two people come into contact with one another over a period of time they will have complaints about one another, some trivial and some significant. That’s what sinners do to one another. So what do we do?
First, we are commanded to forgive. This is not optional for Christians. It reveals if we truly trust that God knows what’s best and has our best at heart. It reveals if we love Him more than our self.
The way we become a forgiving person is by forgiving. I have been dragged into the computer age. I am the last person I know to start using a computer. All I needed was my books, a pen and pad of paper to study and write my sermons. But Matt Hofeld, our youth minister at the time, kept selling me on the advantages of Word processing and research on the Internet. I found it put the world’s library at my fingertips! Now I’m comfortable with what I know about the computer and Internet. But now Michael Garner keeps pushing me to learn other stuff. I’m no whiz on the computer. Don’t call me if you have questions. But I can do some stuff. I learned how to use a computer and the Internet by using the computer and Internet. My point: we learn to forgive by forgiving.
Someone may say, “I’m not the forgiving kind of person.” You learn to forgive by forgiving.
“I really never learned how to forgive.” You learn to forgive by forgiving.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive.” You learn to forgive by forgiving.
I’m not diminishing the pain. I’m not saying you don’t deal with the hurt. I’m not saying it’s easy. But there comes a point where to not forgive is sin. If you have trouble obeying God’s command, the way you learn is to just haul off and forgive anyway.
We are also told to forbear. God calls us to “put up” with some people. If we turn every grievance into a forgiveness issue, we are going to be a lonely person. Forbearance means tolerating people’s weaknesses, frailties, and failings. Paul says we are not to do this with our teeth gritted. God says he wants us to do it with kindness, gentleness, patience and love. God is simply asking us to show to others the same grace he showed us. He wants us to share that grace.
Lewis Smedes wisely wrote, “Not every hurt calls for forgiveness, any more than every cut needs stitching.” Not everything is about forgiveness. We need to accept others. Some of what we don’t like is just their stuff, some of it is our stuff. We need to grow big hearts and give people room to fail and make mistakes.
CONCLUSION
During Andrew Jackson’s presidency, a postal clerk named George Wilson robbed a train and, in the process, killed a guard. He was captured, convicted of murder, and sentenced to hang. But there were doubts about some issues related to the case, and President Jackson intervened, offering a pardon. But because Wilson hated Jackson, he refused the pardon. The nation was young, and no one had ever refused a pardon. The Supreme Court was asked whether someone could do such a thing. Chief Justice John Marshall handed down the decision: “A pardon is a parchment whose only value must be determined by the receiver of the pardon. It has no value apart from that which the receiver gives to it.” Because George Wilson had refused the pardon, whatever his reason, he would suffer the full penalty for his crime by being hanged.
Can you think of anything more foolish? Yes! It would be for a person who stands guilty before the Judge of the universe to leave this service turning his back on the forgiveness Jesus offers him. God wants to forgive you. Repent and believe.
Second only to that person is the Christian who has been forgiven all his sins but refuses to forgive those who have hurt him. He will remain in the torture chamber. The forgiven forgive. Repent and believe.
PRAYER
INVITATION
I want to offer a prayer for you to repeat. Repeat it silently.
Heavenly Father, I thank you that Jesus Christ took my sins when he didn’t deserve them. I’m awed by the greatness of His forgiveness. I confess that I resent (fill in the name). I want to forgive but I’m struggling to obey. Give me wisdom and strength to do your will. Forgive me for harboring anger and bitterness. Set me free from my bondage. Teach me to live the new life of forgiveness and put aside the old life of revenge. I pray this in the name of my forgiving Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
The deacons will be at the front to pray with and for you.
