The passage I am about to read is the very ending of the Second Corinthian letter. It includes a verse which has a warm place in my memory because it was the favorite verse of lots and lots of male seminarians back in the 60’ s when I was in school.
You see, in the 60’s there were not very many female students in the seminary, and so all these unmarried preacher boys were stuck over in the dormitories, pining away for a little female companionship. And so when a few women students began enrolling in the theological course, the fellows began to go around quoting at strategic moments this verse: II Cor. 13: 12, "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
By the way, nobody ever satisfactorily defined what was a holy kiss. Most of us admitted it didn’t sound too exciting, but the verse was useful just the same to assure the young ladies that it would be perfectly appropriate and well in accord with the clear commands of Scripture if they were to demonstrate their affections a little bit. "Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
The only trouble is that the women fought back with Scripture too. And right out of II Corinthians. Don’t tell me when this period of emphasis on II Corinthians is over that you didn’t learn anything ...because now this ... this is valuable.
The ladies refused the advances of the preachers with their pleas for holy kisses by resorting to II Corinthians 1: 8, with the punctuation altered just a little. If you move the comma over only one word, it reads like this: "We do not want you, ignorant brethren..."
Now that you’ve had your dose of Biblical scholarship for the day, may I read with you the concluding passage of Second Corinthians? And I will make it a little clearer by substituting "I" for "we" in several places. The scholars agreed that Paul was talking about himself here, and so it’s clearer if I change the pronoun for you.
Ch. 13, verses 5-13
The rituals of friendship are fascinating to watch and to think about. I dare say none of us, when we meet someone else, gives much thought as to how we will greet this person. We just stick out our hands, we just mutter the usual pleasantries about how nice it is to meet you, and sort of instinctively know how firm the grip should be and how long to maintain eye contact ... we never give it a second thought.
But did you know that there is at least one theory that hand-shaking arose during the early Middle Ages as a way to test whether the person you were meeting had a dagger in his hand? The idea seemed to be a kind of mutual distrust ... you hold his right hand and he holds yours, and so no harm is going to come to either one.
I do all right, I think, with hand-shaking, but the friendship ritual that I had a hard time mastering for a while was the hug. When I was growing up, I don’t think adults hugged anybody over the age of eight, and in fact you might get in trouble if you hugged a male over the age of five! But somewhere in the mid-70’s, I think it was, I found my nose getting smashed against people’s jacket pockets without the slightest warning. Women hugged women, then women and men, finally men began hugging men, often with lots of back-slapping so that nobody got the wrong idea. It took me a while to get used to that.
But kissing as a friendship ritual is even tougher. I’ve noticed that somehow some people send out signals that tell others they expect and want to be kissed. If you can tell me what it is that people do that sends that message, I’ll be glad to comply. But kissing is a difficult friendship ritual. It’s got a lot wrapped up in it.
It feels as though before you kiss someone there needs to have been something deep between the two of you, doesn’t it? It feels as though a good deal of history should have passed between folks who kiss each other. It would just appear that kissing is not something people do unless their eyes light up and their hearts take a leap when they see each other. Kissing is special.
Maybe that’s why Paul saves this command, "Greet one another with a holy kiss" until the very end of the letter. A lot of history has finally passed. A whole lot of things have happened in the Corinthian church. And I just suspect that Paul knows that there is a price to be paid before a kiss is justified. There is a cost, there is a price in conflict and disagreement and fighting and misunderstanding that has to be paid first ...and when that is all resolved, then and only then does it make sense to "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
Otherwise the chumminess is insincere and shallow. It is cheap and it means nothing, unless some other things have happened before folks "greet each other with a holy kiss." There is a price for a kiss.
I
First, notice that Paul tells us that the price of a kiss is Christlike behavior in spite of the fact that you may suspect somebody else of failure. The price of a kiss, the price of friendship is authentic Christlike behavior, even when you think someone else has betrayed your trust. I’m saying that is a kiss with a price on it, because I hear Paul telling us that you and I are going to have to take a leap of faith, we are going to have trust somebody whose motives may seem a little suspect, before we can really be in close community with them.
To say it as simply as I know how, real friendship costs. Real friendship takes courage and faith.
Now Paul says it like this: "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are holding to your faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you? -- unless indeed you fail to meet the test! But I pray God that you may not do wrong -- not that I may appear to have met the test, but that you may do what is right, though I may seem to have failed." You do what is right, even though I may seem to have failed.
Now that is a bit complicated. Let me see if I can unpack it for you.
Remember that all the way through this letter, we have been listening to Paul defend himself against his critics. His critics over there in Corinth have said that Paul is inconsistent, that he cannot be trusted; they have charged that he is insincere, that he doesn’t really care; and they have implied that he is selfish and greedy. And for a dozen chapters Paul has been defending himself against such charges.
Now at the end of his defense, he says, "You may still not believe me. You may not trust me yet. You may not be ready to take my word for it. But do at least this much: live authentically yourselves ... live holding to the truth as you see it in Jesus Christ, even if you think I have missed it completely, don’t you desert Christlike living. And then ... then … when you have chosen to live the best that you know how, even if you still feel I don’t quite measure up, then we can greet one another with a holy kiss. We can be friends. We can be close ... but you have to take the risk."
I think Paul is really saying, "Don’t let the failures of others become your excuse for failing yourself". Just because somebody else has not been Christlike, just because others have not been open and above board in their relationships with you ... don’t let that become a license to treat them in a shabby way.
The price of a kiss, in other words ... the price of real friendship ... is to be loving even when you think the other fellow may be less than loving. The price of a kiss, the price of genuine community, is to be Christlike even though you suspect that somebody else is not.
Just as Paul and the Corinthian Christians misunderstood and therefore mistrusted one another, just so today at the beginning of our Black History Month observance I think we still have to reckon with the ways in which Black Americans and White Americans misunderstand and therefore mistrust one another. And today it is a different and more subtle challenge than during the 50’ s and 60’ s, when taking a stand out on the civil rights battle line was so clear.
Today we have the racism of behind-the-back mistrust and behind-the-smile distance. Today we have folks who will embrace and be friendly, up to a point, but who will not value one another fully. We have folks who want no price associated with the friendship they offer. Today some of us have not yet paid the price of the kiss we bestow on the person of another race. We know we should be friendly, and we are ... up to a point. We know we can’t get away with being overtly racist, and so we hide it ... we smile and shake hands, greet and even kiss, but there is that something that will not yet trust the other.
Paul’s message is, “Do what is right even though I may seem to have failed." Go beyond the mistrust that you feel. And if you think that man or that woman of another race is not really somebody you can trust, then above all do not let that mistrust poison you. You do what is right, even if you think they won’t ... that’ s paying the price of a kiss. That’s paying the cost of achieving a real friendship.
Today there may be no lunch counters to desegregate, but there are plenty of dining room tables to decontaminate.
Today there may be no Bull Connors and no police dogs to dodge, but there are plenty of folks who will use the dodge of racism to cover all kinds of failures.
Hear the great Apostle, himself mistreated, himself the object of prejudice: "Test yourselves ... to see whether you are holding to your faith. And I pray God that you may not do wrong ... but that you may do what is right, though I may seem to have failed." That’s the price of being able to "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
II
But there is more here. There is another way in which we need to be able to pay the price of a kiss, another way in which we can earn deep and abiding friendship. And that is to be committed to the development and improvement of one another. You cannot help but care deeply about someone in whose life and future you are investing. And so when you get involved in developing someone, it will not be long before the bonds of affection will enable you to "greet one another with a holy kiss".
Paul, I say, mistreated, the object of prejudice, attacked as incompetent and unimpressive, vilified as careless and deceitful, seen as lazy and shiftless -- Paul insists that his heart’s intention is to see the Corinthian Christians grow. His overwhelming concern, whether they could see it or not, was for their improvement.
He says it this way: "I am glad when I am weak and you are strong. What I pray for is your improvement … the Lord has given me to build up and not to tear down. Mend your ways, heed my appeal, agree with one another, live in peace ... and greet one another with a holy kiss."
You see, our trouble is again that we do not always want to pay the price of a kiss. Yes, we will be friends with folks whose racial heritage is different from ours ... if ... if ... they are in our social class, if their education is like ours, if their values and their style corresponds to ours, if they pose no threat to us. We will embrace who is like us. There is very little price to that kiss.
But ask us to embrace and to befriend somebody who is among the down and out of this world, and we freeze. Ask us to look back and not only measure the distance come, but also measure the distance others have yet to travel, and we are uncomfortable. Ask us to devote our time and our money to NAACP or United Negro College Fund or the local civic association or Johenning Baptist Center or the community ministries of our church, and a whole lot of us shrivel up and get scared. We don’t want to pay that kind of price for the kiss and the embrace of friendship.
But what a challenge Paul brings against our comfortableness and our splendid suburban stratification: "I am glad when I am weak and you are strong. What I pray for is your improvement ... the Lord has given me authority to build up, not to tear down."
Several years ago, a group of students in Carver Hall, a men’s dormitory on the edge of the Howard University campus and adjacent to the historic LeDroit Park community, became aware that the surrounding community harbored a strong resentment against the presence of the university and of its students. The children of the neighborhood felt that those students who lived in that dormitory were aloof, elite, uppity. The students, however, determined that they would not permit hostility, classism, and a corrosive racism to continue. They began to open themselves to the children of LeDroit Park. They tutored them, they took them on recreational outings, they developed "big brother" relationships with them. In short, they dedicated themselves to the improvement and development of these youngsters. It was a beautiful experiment.
But then one day all the old demons raised their heads again. One of the university students, walking back to the dorm late at night, was attacked by a gang of teenage toughs from the streets and was brutally beaten and robbed. A few days later, the student died of his wounds in the university hospital, and everyone said, "These ungrateful kids. That’s the end of that program." As you might expect, many of the students pulled back, scared and disappointed, and dropped their brothering the neighborhood kids.
But one student ... talented, gifted, bright, capable, committed to Christ, with a brilliant career in radiology ahead of him ... one student stepped out on his own and single-handedly kept the program going until others got over their fright and caught the vision again. One young man, who happened to be the president of our Baptist Student Union at the University, said a resounding "No" to the demons and gave himself, as the Lord had empowered him, to the building up and not the tearing down of others. One young man was able to be weak that others might become strong. One young man prayed for and worked for their improvement, their development.
One afternoon he walked into the chapel and introduced me to a youngster of about ten years of age. We talked a little while, and the two of them turned to leave. The moment was picture perfect: this bright student, tall, handsome, articulate; this youngster, dirty, raggedy, barely able to put a sentence together ... out they went into the world, arms around one another, embracing.
Somebody had paid the price of a kiss.
And I thought of another young man, bright, strong, full of the wisdom of the ages, inheriting all the wealth of his father, wrapped in the glory of intellect and spirit and heart ... I thought of him risking it all. He made himself of no reputation, but took upon himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of man... And he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross … paying the price of a kiss.
