(Slide 1) This is the time of year when we attempt to fulfill our New Year’s excuses… oops, I mean resolutions. And speaking of resolutions, oops, I mean excuses, I found several good ones this week as I prepared for this morning. I make no excuse for any of them.
This is one from a man pulled over for speeding by an Australian police officer… (Slide 1a)
"My wife’s about to get pregnant. And I need to be there when it happens".
From another officer is this one: (Slide 1b)
I had a guy for 63 in a 25. He said he was speeding up for the 55[MPH] zone ahead. (1/4 mile ahead)
Now students of any age are not exempt from making excuses about homework, are they? Here is one from a student about his or her math homework not being done on time: (Slide 2)
I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
Then there are excuses about giving to the church, right? Here is a very interesting one from somebody about giving to the church: (Slide 2a)
God doesn’t need my money
(Slide 2b) Just for your personal reflection this morning, what is the most frequent excuse you make?
In each of the statements that we have read, a conflict is revealed through an excuse given. There is a conflict between not speeding and a decision to exceed the speed limit; a conflict about not doing your homework and doing your homework; and a conflict about giving and not giving money to God… for whatever reason!
Excuses can and do create conflicts because excuses attempt to deflect the truth about a situation or a decision of some kind. The result is a conflict between what is true and what is not true.
Our main text for this morning is James 4:1-5 and in it the author strips away all of the excusing that we do:
(Slide 3) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?
(Slide 4) 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous for what others have, and you can’t possess it, so you fight and quarrel to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.
(Slide 5) 3 And even when you do ask, you don’t get it because your whole motive is wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.
(Slide 6) Today is the third message in our initial sermon series for 2009; ‘2 Things 2 B in 09:’ A Peacemaker and A Missionary.
We are currently examining four important actions necessary in becoming a Biblical peacemaker and today’s action is this one:
(Slide 7) To become God’s peacemaker is to discern the nature of conflict.
This morning I again refer to the words of Neil T. Anderson and Charles Mylander as a focus for our thoughts regarding peacemaking and conflict. (Slide 8)
‘At its heart, conflict is a spiritual problem.’
(Slide 9) I also want to take the sub-title of their book, ‘Finding Peace With God, Yourself, and Others’ and use it as our guide for this morning as we understand in our determination that conflict is a spiritual problem.
A few weeks ago, I shared some various perspectives on peace that I want to bring back to the table so that we have a Biblically correct definition of peace. These perspectives come from Pastor Ed Sansett who writes, ‘English, Greek, and Hebrew have a slightly different slant on the idea of peace.’
‘In English,’ he continues, ‘the word peace means an absence of conflict or strife. It has about it the idea of serenity. If Israel and Hezbollah would stop bombing one another, you would hear reporters say that peace has returned to the region. They’d only mean that there was an absence of conflict and strife.’
Sansett then says, ‘The Greek language, of which the N.T. is written in, includes the idea of rest and to agree upon certain terms. On the other hand, the Hebrew language, and Jesus was a Hebrew, has the idea of everything that makes for a person’s highest good. English would say we don’t have trouble with another person, but the Hebrew emphasis would mean that the relationship is loving.”
Keeping in mind this very important of idea of a person’s highest good and a loving relationship, I want us to read again this morning what Jesus said was the greatest commandment (Slide 10):
‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NLT)
Now love and peace go together, correct? Do love and conflict go together? Sometimes they do. In our love we often do things that create constructive conflict just as God does things to us and in us and through us to express His love to us and others and, and, and to bring His peace to us and others.
However, chronic conflict is not constructive conflict. Chronic conflict is what is spoken of in James. It is self-centered conflict. It is selfish conflict. It is about me, me, me, me!
Now, taking the sub-title, our main text, Sensett’s words, and Jesus’ words and blending them together, I suggest the following this morning.
(Slide 11) Peacemakers know that peace with others and with one’s self is essential but peace with God is foundational and necessary.
I have again commenced a yearlong journey to read the entire Bible. Right now, I am reading about Jacob. And talk about the lack of peace and the presence of conflict!
On Thursday, I read with fresh eyes his life as the husband of Leah and Rachel. My goodness! What a time he had with living those two!
One got mad because she was not having children by him and complained to God. Well then, God answered her prayer (or complaint) and she started having children whose names have become synonymous with the 12 tribes of ancient Israel. Then the other one would start complaining to God and then she would start having children whose names would also be the used in naming the 12 tribes. Then when both were not having success with childbearing, their servant girls were drafted to help with the Jacob family population explosions! Ever thought about what Jacob thought and felt?
Jacob’s story is the story of chronic conflict brought on by favoritism and its resultant deceptions. He, at times, was on the outs with his dad, his brother, his wives, and his father-in-law! And it was only, I think, when He had that midnight encounter with God before his next morning encounter with his brother, that Jacob finally had peace with God and then with himself and finally others, starting with Esau.
If we are going to be God’s peacemaker then we need to have the foundational peace with God. It is necessary because God’s peace and God’s love is part of God’s redeeming work in our hearts and souls.
Paul writes of this mix in 2 Corinthians 13:11 when he says (Slide 12), Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Rejoice. Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.
Conflict is spiritual in nature because it deals with our attitudes and hearts and only the grace and peace of God can change our hearts and the attitudes that reside within them. Conflict is expressed in relationships as selfishness, jealousy, and the like but it is spiritual because we are spiritual beings.
(Slide 13) Peacemakers understand and act on the belief that conflict is spiritual in nature and requires a spiritual approach to resolve it.
Over the past several years, I have found the work and ministry of Peacemakers Ministries to be very helpful. In an article on their website, peacemakers.net, founder Ken Sande writes of ‘Getting to the Heart of Conflict.’
In it he quotes our main text and then talks of (Slide 14) four ‘I’s’ that we must deal with in resolving conflict.
I Desire is the first ‘I.’ ‘Conflict’ writes Sande, ‘always begins with some kind of desire.’
I Demand is the second ‘I.’ ‘When we see our object of desire as being essential to our fulfillment and well-being,’ writes Sande, ‘it moves from being a desire to a demand. "I wish I could have this" evolves into "I must have this!"
I Judge is the third ‘I.’ Sande calls the development of this ‘I’ idolatry. With this ‘I’ he says, ‘Another sign of idolatry is the inclination to judge other people. When they fail to satisfy our desires and live up to our expectations, we criticize and condemn in our hearts if not with our words.’
I Punish is the fourth and final ‘I.’ ‘Idols always demand sacrifices. When others fail to satisfy our demands and expectations, our idols demand that they should suffer. Whether deliberately or unconsciously, we will find ways to hurt or punish people so they will give in to our desires.’ So says Sande.
All of these self-centered choices are formulated within us and the result is an inner turmoil and even rage that creates conflict. Such conflict may form quickly or they may form slowly. But, unless checked by our willingness to face them and ask God for help, the anger, impatience, and spite that comes with conflict, will form.
In discerning the nature of conflict a key understanding has to do with our hearts and Jesus had some very important things to say about the heart. For example in Matthew 12:33 through 35 He said, “A tree is identified by its fruit. Make a tree good, and its fruit will be good. Make a tree bad, and its fruit will be bad. 34 You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart.
Then in chapter 15, in the context of a discussion about what defiles a person He says, But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. 19For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. 20These are what defile you.
So just as love and care can come from our heart so also can conflict come from the heart. The choice is ours to make as James, in our main text, makes clear.
James speaks of evil desires within us as the source of our conflicts. We want something, something good, something helpful, something rewarding, but we act like spoiled brats when we don’t get it. Why?
Well, I think that just as Satan whispered, if you will, to Eve, ‘really?’ he does the same in our ears at moments we desire something, perhaps perfectly legitimate, but for the wrong reason and at the wrong time.
‘I really deserve that promotion.’
‘I really need his attention more that ‘you know who’ does.’
‘I really want that car.’
‘I really need this relationship.’
‘I really deserve that money.’
As we hear these statements, we recall and remember the conflicts that are a part of these things. We remember the turmoil which churns up within us and the pain and anxiety and frustration that comes with such churning.
Let’s return to Jacob, Rachel, and Leah for a moment. Having children was expected in that time and place. Abraham and Sarah suffered for years before Isaac was born and even then Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham as a surrogate to try and speed things up.
Wanting children is a very legitimate desire and God had promised Abraham that he would become the father of a great nation. Rachel and Leah expected to become mothers and provide Jacob with an heir. As we read the latter part of Genesis 29 and first part of Genesis 30, we hear the ‘I’ directly and indirectly:
• ‘because Leah was unloved, the Lord let her have a child, while Rachel was childless’
• ‘When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children, she became jealous of her sister. “Give me children, or I’ll die!” she exclaimed to Jacob’
And Jacob’s response is an angry one, Jacob flew into a rage. “Am I God?” he asked. “He is the only one able to give you children!” So, their impatience and their jealousy of one another drove them to make choices that created conflict that made life difficult. They desired, they demanded, the judged, and they punished and conflict ruled the day.
Life is the same the way today and I just wonder if we are not where we are financially as a nation because we have desired and demanded way beyond what we need. And look at the line of people lining up for bailouts.
Conflict appears in our homes; conflict appears in our economy; conflict appears in our government at all levels; conflict appears everywhere because it resides in our very human hearts. It is there because of sin and what comes after our main text in James 4 is a course of action to deal with conflict at its root:
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. 9Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.
Conflict then is a spiritual issue that requires a spiritual resolution that involves confession. But it also involves something else as well. This brings me to the final point of this morning.
(Slide 15) Peacemakers believe that conflict is best resolved from the heart in love.
This love is given from the heart of God who seeks for us to be reconciled with Him and one other. It is a pure and holy love. It is a shalom kind of love. It seeks the well being of the other. It is a restorative love. It is a kind love. It is an empowering love.
Other than THE story of the Bible, that of Good Friday and Easter Sunday, there is one other story that illustrates conflict and reconciliation in a simply and pointed way. It is that very familiar story of the father who sees his lost son coming down the road and runs to welcome him back.
It was love from his heart that brought peace and hope to this dirty, rag-tag son. Love, the eyes wide open and honest kind of love, sought the well being and success of the son, once rebellious. This hopeful father, was looking with love in his heart at the tattered, dirty, and broken son.
There was no rush to judgment, no ‘I told you so’s,’ no finger pointing. Just a joyful and celebrative embrace followed by a command to party!
This was a wise father. This was a loving father. He knew the conflict of desires in a young man’s heart. He knew the temptations and opportunities that were out there.
Love trumped being right. Love trumped being domineering. Love trumped everything.
This was a peacemaking father. This dad lived the great commandment and had peace with God, himself, and others. He was I believe, wealthy and a powerful man. Other men looked up to him in his community and considered a leader and a wise and spiritual man. But ultimately he was a loving man and… a peacemaker.
What might God be saying to you this morning about all of this? I believe that we are called to be peacemakers who understand that human conflict is more than just political or military, but ultimately spiritual.
Respond as you need to and let us resolve to let God lay His axe to the root of our conflicts and liberate us in His loving embrace. Amen.
Sources:
Police excuses from policeworld.net
Math excuse from thatwasfunny.com
Giving excuse from generousgiving.org
Anderson/Mylander, Blessed Are the Peacemakers: Finding Peace With God, Yourself, and Others.
Sande, ‘Getting to the Heart of Conflict’ at peacemaker.net
