“Slim Pickens”
Philippians 2:19-30
I had a best friend from Junior high through high school. We did everything together except play hockey. We shared everything with each other, I don’t think I had a great experience as a teenager that he didn’t have with me. Have you ever had a friend like that? Where you felt like you had the same soul, the same mind, even when you were fighting.
Well I moved away for four years, and when I came back, we picked up right where we left off, no awkwardness or needing to reunite, we just started doing what we always did. Then a couple years later he moved away and we became adults with careers and started down different paths, especially spiritually. The only things we have shared in the past fifteen years are one phonecall and one email. It’s just not there anymore.
I don’t know many people who have had friendships like that as adults, guys anyway. There is an intimacy with our spouses but it’s different, deeper in some ways, but different. I have concluded that the only way to have this kind of friendship is when you share the same spiritual heart. As kids we don’t have that defined very well so it’s easier to connect on that level, but the older we get the harder it seems to find that kind of match.
In our text today, Paul is talking about this kind of friendship and I would like to help us see what it was that caused Him and Timothy to be “soul mates”. Then to show what a real brother or sister in Christ is like through the example of Epaphroditus.
I. A soul mate shares our concerns and priorities (vv 19-24)
A soul mate has the same mind as us and this breeds:
A. Complete proven trust
You never have to worry about what the other person is going to say or do because you have learned that they are always on the same wavelength. In essence you share the same mind. You may have disagreements at times along the way about the means, but it is never about what you believe and what the ultimate goal is.
Let’s look at what the shared priorities are here between Paul and Timothy in verses 20 and 21. To be genuinely concerned for the welfare of the church and other Christians. To be committed to Christ and not their own interests. Good model for the church family isn’t it. Paul is showing us that it is this mind of Christ that both Paul and Timothy had, that brings us into union with others even when we may have no other common bond.
It is clear from this that we as Christians should all be “soul mates” with regards to our common purpose.
Paul says of Timothy that he has no one like him. Imagine how many people Paul met and discipled throughout his ministry, yet Timothy is the only one he has at this point that he can fully trust. The word used here is “isopsychos” which literally means “equal souled”. It is extremely rare to have one of these kind of friends throughout a lifetime. Slim Pickens.
When Paul says he will send Timothy, he has absolutely no reservations that Timothy will represent him well. He also says he trusts the Lord that he will also be able to come soon, and sure enough that happens, only to return to Roman prison for the last time a couple years later.
Soul mates also:
B. Compliment each other
Paul says in verse 22, “as a son with a father he has served with me in the Gospel”. Paul is much older than Timothy yet it was Timothy who was with Paul the most on his journeys, and helped him the most in his ministry. They probably had different personalities and roles that complimented each other, and it shows that you don’t necessarily have to be in the same generation to have this kind of friendship. Timothy was also quite timid and of course Paul was anything but, so there we see another way in which they complimented each other.
I remember my friend, he was shy and when we were in social situations I found myself being more confident and overcoming his shyness. I was normally shy as well, but for some reason I rose up when I was with him. At the same time he was strong willed and didn’t let anyone push him or anyone he cared about around, where I was kind of timid. It was like we were one person, I would speak for him, and he would stand up for me, maybe kind of like Aaron and Moses now that I think about it. Soul mates bring out the strengths in each other.
Now let’s talk specifically about Christian brothers and sisters.
II. A Christian brother/sister sacrifices for us in our mission (vv 25-30)
A. He or She Is a Fellow Soldier
Loyalty. That is what you see in the movies when you watch a show about the marines, or other armed forces. There is this very well known quality that all soldiers need to have, and that is loyalty to each other and to their country and cause. People couldn’t face death everyday if they didn’t know that their team was with them all the way, and wouldn’t bail when the heat got turned up.
Remember in Acts that Paul would not take John Mark on any more missionary journeys because of his abandonment on the first one. Timothy in essence replaced John Mark. Loyalty was very important to Paul and rightfully so because everywhere he went he was risking his life as a soldier for the Gospel in hostile territory.
How about David and Jonathan. This one of the greatest friendship stories ever. Jonathan’s father Saul, the king is trying to kill David as he is God’s anointed King to take the throne from Saul. Let me just read a couple excerpts from 1 Samuel 20 to give you an idea of the loyalty they shared. Verse 4 Jonathan says to David “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you”. In this circumstance that could have very well been to kill his own father.
Verses 16 and 17, So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying “May the Lord call David’s enemies (including his father) to account.” And Jonathan and David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.
Verse 42, Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have a sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord.” Some people don’t even take their marriage vows this seriously.”
Back in Philippians, Epaphroditus became deathly ill at some point on the 800 mile journey from Philippi to Rome. Of course his name kind of sounds like a disease. He made this journey to bring Paul two years worth of rent money for the home he was renting while in chains under house arrest. If Paul couldn’t pay his rent he would have been in the dungeon like prison cells of the time, where he probably wouldn’t have survived two years.
Not only was Epaphroditus loyal to Paul, but also to his church in Philippi. He was either the pastor or an elder in the Philippian church and he knew that they heard he was very sick. It caused him great anxiety to know that his congregation was worried about him. The word distressed here is the same word used for Christ’s distress in Gethsemane where he was sweating blood. Epaphroditus cared so much about his congregation that he wanted to get back as soon as he could to give them comfort, even though it was certainly not his fault that he got sick.
Paul shows his loyalty to the Philippians as well. He surely would have liked for Epaphroditus to stick around, but was more concerned about him getting back for the church’s sake and to deliver this letter to them. He also said that he would have had sorrow upon sorrow, if Epaphroditus would have died, showing Paul’s great love and loyalty to him.
I wondered why Paul didn’t just heal Epaphroditus, and for that matter Timothy who had a bad stomach. This is toward the end of the apostolic era and Paul’s ministry, and it seems that the sign gifts like healing were not prominent anymore as the emphasis turned back to the Great Physician. Paul prayed for these men, and told Timothy to take wine for his stomach. But he was relying on God himself to do the healing work.
I think there’s a message here that even soul mates can’t heal each other, and perhaps shouldn’t even try. If we are to talk about depression again, it is very clear to me that those closest to us are the least able to help us, probably because they are too invested in us getting better and too affected by our problem.
My suggestion if you have a person close to you who suffers from depression, take care of yourself so you don’t get dragged down or frustrated, get your own help. Love the depressed person and support them, but don’t try to be their healer, often this can make it worse because the depressed person is already feeling guilty about how they are affecting those who love them, and they don’t need to feel responsible for your mental health and sense of helplessness on top of their own.
Paul seems to be demonstrating that we need to take our friends to the Lord. To carry them on our backs to Him who is able to heal. If we all had the gift of healing, God wouldn’t be glorified, we wouldn’t need him as much.
Look at those who claim to have healing ministries, they have become famous, but often not very respected. My guess is that we don’t know about God’s real healers if there are any, because they are hidden behind God’s glory.
A Christian brother or sister is also,
B. a Fellow Minister
Peter made it clear that as Christians we are all in the priesthood of believers. Since Christ tore the curtain in the temple during his crucifixion, we all have access to the holy of holies. This brought with it the responsibility to be ministers of the faith. Epaphroditus ministered to Paul’s need and nearly died for the work of Christ. Timothy served with Paul in the Gospel. Paul uses an interesting term at the end of verse 30 where he says to the church about Epaphroditus, “risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me.” On the surface doesn’t that sound like a bit of a put down?
But remember it was Paul who said in Colossians that in his suffering he was filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions. By that he meant what was left over of Christ’s afflictions. That Christ didn’t take on all the ongoing affliction that was to come. To the Philippians then, he is saying that Epaphroditus has served him in ways that the whole church could not have done. In essence he is representing them in his service, just as Paul was representing Christ in his suffering.
Paul sends both Timothy and Epaphroditus back out to minister as soon as they have completed their ministry to him. What a beautiful example of the church working in different places. Timothy was really the leader at the Ephesian church and Epaphroditus in Phillipi, but they both came together for the missionary Paul in Rome. This is very much like our missionaries today who rely so much on the church at home and the church in general. Next week we are going talk about missions, but here is a good preview and model of how it worked in the early church.
Paul instructs them to receive Epaphroditus with great joy and honor, as he does with Timothy in another letter. It was in Paul’s first letter to Timothy that he says that the elders who rule well, especially those who teach and preach, deserve double honor.
Some of you may remember a time when the preacher was regarded very highly as one of the most respected and key citizens in the town, even by non-believers. I think we can see how this is not necessarily the case anymore. Of course maybe many of us don’t deserve it anymore because so many have gotten away from preaching and being stewards of God’s word and the Gospel. But Paul also says, those who rule well, so maybe there’s the qualifier.
At any rate, we still need to heed Paul’s instruction and honor those who are in leadership in the church and in society.
When it comes right down to it, isn’t Paul again this week giving us a recipe for health and unity in the church, and in our relationships with each other? We’re not going to feel like soul mates with all our brothers and sisters, but that doesn’t mean we can’t treat them as if they were.
If we look back at our points today, can we not be trustworthy, can we not compliment each other with our strengths and weaknesses, can we not be loyal to each other as we pursue a common goal against a common enemy, can we not minister to each other and sacrifice a little? You don’t have to feel a deep emotional connection with each person to do these things. In fact often the deep emotional connection comes from doing these things. The connection is in Christ who gives us all these abilities, and died so that we can be soul mates with Him and with each other in Him, having His mind.
I almost thought of showing a movie for the sermon today. It’s called Simon Birch. I have never seen a movie like it. It’s about this kid Simon who is a dwarf and has many physical ailments that will shorten his life. He believes that God gave him these disabilities because he had a purpose. Joe is the illegitimate son of the neighbor lady played by Ashley Judd. They become beautiful friends and when Simon hits a baseball for the first time it just happens to hit and kill Joe’s mom. So they go on a journey together across the country to find Joe’s father and this becomes Simon’s purpose. I won’t spoil the ending, but just tell you that the journey they have together will absolutely touch your heart. Watch this movie if you haven’t, as an illustration of the sermon today, showing what real best friends are.
I encourage us all to think about what kind of friend we are, and that includes to our spouses. Are we trustworthy? Do we compliment another’s weaknesses or do we point them out to make ourselves feel better? Do we ignore petty differences so that we can work together in the big things? Are we there when it is more convenient not to be?
If we want close friends and want to go deep, we have to be a good friend. Someone who others feel safe revealing themselves to, and someone who’s afraid to reveal themselves.
