Funeral Jimbo Carroll
I was a senior in high school when one of my neighbors, George, committed suicide. He was 19 the only son his mother, a poor widow, Mrs. Maria. He hung himself because some friends made fun of him… Mrs. Maria mourned over the terrible loss of her only son was not her only pain. She felt the horrible pain of bigotry and prejudice. Her priest rejected the idea of a decent funeral and didn’t allow George to be buried in the church cemetery. Almost all cemeteries in Romania belongs to the Greek-orthodox churches…
No burial service, no place in the cemetery because of the superstitions, wrong understanding of Jesus’ mission as Saviour and Redeemer.
I remember Mrs. Maria’s tiers, her desperation and her question repeated almost mechanical: why, why God, why?... I wanted to comfort her, to read some Scriptures for her… And I did after a while. But she didn’t believe me. She considered her son cursed, burning already in hell because of that minute of weakness and bad temper… She just followed the popular opinion, what others around her thought… And her emotions, her guilt, her sense of a loving God and personal savior, were chocked… Her mind collapsed in less than a year…
And today I would like to open the Scripture for you, family members and friends of Jimbo. And let the word of God comfort you and comfort me… Not prejudices, not gossip, not what readers of the local newspaper are thinking, but what the Scriptures affirm and confirm. I understand there are certain topics that need to be addressed, because they are on the minds of everyone.
1. First of all we need to deal with emotional issues involving this tragedy.
- Grief is, of course, a common reaction, one that comes with almost every death, regardless of its cause.
- Anger, however, is a specific response toward a situation like this. You told me, Gayland, and I feel it myself. I want to shake him and shout, "You had no right!" I am angry on Jimbo and I am angry on me because I didn’t see it coming… He didn’t give enough time to talk with him, to advise him, to pray with him.
He came to me crying like a baby… Pastor pray for my family – he said. He was holding Drake’s hand… I told him about VBS and nice would be with his son in of children’s class… I called him after that and his concern was the same: my family, my family…
If you are struggling with anger you need to be reassured that anger is not sinful, but understandable.
2. Another issue in this particular situation is guilt. Yes, "It’s my fault" - you may thing as his family or friends. “I didn’t talk with him the day before” or, “I shouldn’t say this or that”…
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you are directly responsible for Jimbo’s actions. Just as it takes many small and large streams to make a river, so it takes many influences and events to lead a person to act in one way or the other. To live a life in guilt feeling miserable because you thing are responsible for what happened, it’s unbearable… after Jesus was born in Bethlehem, King Herod run after baby boys, hopping to destroy the real King of Israel.
But Jesus was never troubled by guild saying: because of Me they died… He said the opposite: “I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep”. (John 10:11). They didn’t day for Me, I died for them… In spite of those tragedies, as consequences of sin dominating this world – I am the one, the only one handling, and finally responsible for everything… Jesus say - Let Me be in charge, let me take handle your emotions and guilt….
3. And the last issue on my list, after feelings and emotions of ager, guilt, depression, is the Issue of Salvation and Forgiveness.
For some Christian believers, there is the conviction that suicide is the unforgivable sin - because once you commit it, it’s too late to ask forgiveness. My answer is twofold: first, why pick suicide as the unforgivable sin? Suppose you commit any sin – lie your wife, or cheating your husband for example - and you die before asking forgiveness. Doesn’t that make that particular sin unforgivable?
When you accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, how many of your sins did he pay for? The answer is: all of them. He died on the cross for all of my sins and your sins. So, if that’s right, murder or suicide cannot be an unforgivable sin. They are consequences and you understand some of them, is not easy for the survivors, is not easy for mothers who lost Rebecca and Jimbo, is not easy for Drake… After this somebody called me and after a long introduction, asked me a direct question - where Jimbo is now, after he died? He was really asking the question about suicide and forgiveness.
I know there are different views about salvation, sin, and forgiveness. I’m giving you what I understand to be true as I read the Bible. I may disappoint those who send already Rebecca in heaven and Jimbo in the fire. They are neither in Heaven nor in Hell, they are asleep, as the Bible states in many many different Scriptures both in OT and NT…
- Ecclesiastes 9:5,10 - For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten.Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
- In John 11:11 Talking about Lazarus being dead after several days, Jesus said - "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."
-1 Thessalonians 4
Verse 13… Fall asleep, this is the grave, this is the reality. Sad, but hey, we have a hope!... I have the hope to see my son again, who died years ago… He is not in Heaven looking at me how depressed I am trying to come back to encourage me but God in a selfish manner saying, no, stay here, you’re a Mine… This is just Science Fiction movies not the reality of God’s word and His salvation…
You have the same hope, that you will see Jimbo again, at the second coming of Jesus. Do you believe God’s word? It’s right here. Don’t even thing for a moment that the salvation was taken away from Him. I mean a whole life as dedicated family man in balance with a minute of loosing reason, a minute of madness… for me is obvious each side is more heavy. Jesus said “I have come that they (my sheep) may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10)… He came to save us, to give life, not to punish for a moment of weakness…
1 Thess. 4:13-18 -
13.Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.
14.We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
15.According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.
16.For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
17.After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
18.Therefore encourage each other with these words.
Samson is one name who came to my mind right away. He commited suicide. But in the book of Hebrews, he is on the list of God’s heroes. together with Abel, Noah, Abraham, Moses and others... His name is mentioned and for this reason I am sure he is saved. He is not in Hell or Heaven, he is asleep until the second coming of Jesus, waiting for his reward. Our friend Jimbo is also asleep. Let praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. Let be comforted by the biblical truth that our love ones who passed away, are just asleep, waiting the trumped - the second coming.
+++ Jesus said, “I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last. I died, and behold I am alive forever more, and I hold the keys of hell and death. Because I live, you shall also live.”
FAITH. Forasmuch as God, in His infinite love and wisdom, allowed our dear brother ( ) to fall asleep in Christ, we tenderly commit his body to the ground, in the sure and certain hope of a joyful resurrection, when our Lord shall return in glory. Then this body of our humiliation shall be changed and made like unto His glorious body, according to the mighty working whereby He is able even to subdue all things unto himself.
PRAYER OF DEDICATION: Jesus our Friend, you wept at the grave of Lazarus, you know all our sorrows. Behold our tears, and bind up the wounds of our hearts. Through the mystery of pain, bring us into closer communion with you and with one another. Raise us from death into life. And grant, in your mercy, that with our brother and friend Jimbo who is asleep, we may come to live, with you and with all whom we love, in our Father’s home.
