“To Forgive is Divine”
(Matthew 18:21-35)
Pastor Sean Harder
April 26, 2009
As we look at Scripture today, the themes of humility and honesty are at the forefront of the first half of Matthew 18, and forgiveness in the second half appears to be a product of these virtues. Therefore pride and dishonesty must be the major obstacles to forgiveness. Truth and humility are the core of Christianity though often it’s hard to see.
Let’s look today at some of the characteristics of God’s forgiveness and how we are to follow in His foot steps. In the first two verses we see the principle of:
I. Forbearance (21-22)
In the six verses just prior to our text today we are given very clear instructions on how to approach the Christian brother or sister who sins against us. Many of us are familiar with these instructions and we use them as a model for conflict resolution in the church. Biblical Church discipline by the way, has pretty much gone the way of the Dodo to the church’s peril. But that’s for another time.
Starting now in verse 21 Jesus gives us an indication of how important forgiveness is. He is asked, how many times do I have to forgive the person who sins against me? In Luke 17 verses 3 & 4 we are told to rebuke the person that sins against us, and if he repents forgive him even if he does it seven times in one day.
So now in our text today Jesus is emphasizing this and says not only do you have to forgive three times as required by the Rabbis, seven times as Peter was so proud of here, but 70 times 7. This is likely a reversal of Lamech’s boast of vengeance in Genesis 4:24 where he said if Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.
Amazing how Jesus could come up with this right off the cuff. He knew His scripture. Now some believe this means 77 times, or it could be 490 times but the number is really irrelevant. The point is to never stop forgiving, but as he qualifies above, it is only required if the person repents. This is referring to giving forgiveness, but we always need to forgive in our own hearts for our own sake even if the person never repents.
In fact if we look closer at Jesus words he tells us that we do not have to tolerate sinful behaviour in order to forgive the person. He says in verse 17 that if the person doesn’t listen after going through all the steps, to treat that person as a tax collector or a Gentile.
Here’s how Warren Weirsbe explains what this means:
“That this person can no longer be treated as a spiritual brother or sister, for they have forfeited that position. They can only be treated as one outside the church, not hated, but not held in close fellowship.”
This is basically what God does with us. The door is always open, but there are certain requirements for membership in the Kingdom of God, the main one being repentance. Imagine how many times each of us has asked God for forgiveness. I’m sure he has given it to us many more than 490 times. Our God is the supreme example of forbearance. As far as I can tell He has never punished anyone without giving them a chance to repent, and of course he forgave all sin forever in the cross.
But this is very important. God’s forgiveness is available to everyone, but we need to accept it. Because forgiveness is a choice on the side of the forgiver, it can be given without the other person experiencing the benefits of it. If I don’t accept God’s forgiveness, then I don’t have a relationship with Him, and His forgiveness has no impact on me.
Many commentators I read said that pardon is not salvation. If we truly have received God’s forgiveness in our hearts, it will flow out from the heart. Marcus Dods proposed that “The best assurance that we are ourselves forgiven is the consciousness that the very spirit of the forgiving God is working in our own hearts towards others.”
The same holds true between people. It’s possible to forgive someone in our hearts, but never have a relationship with that person because they don’t accept the forgiveness. Many are skeptical about forgiveness whether it comes from people or God. They may not even allow us to express our forgiveness to them. What I’m saying is that forgiveness is a decision in our heart that may never impact the person we forgive, but it always improves our well being and relationship with God. It is obedience to a command.
I have learned that forgiveness is like turning our wound into a scar. In a state of unforgiveness the offence festers and irritates like a wound that has gotten infected and doesn’t heal, it can even kill us if we don’t take care of it. When we forgive in our heart, it is like cleaning out the wound and causing it to heal. A scar will be there to remind us of what happened, but we don’t even know its there unless we look at it. When we do look at it, it doesn’t hurt anymore, it is just a painless memory.
Let’s look at the servant’s:
II. Failure to Pay (22-27)
Now Jesus moves into a parable commonly known as the parable of the unforgiving servant. This King representing God here, wants to settle his accounts with all his servants. Servants in these times were basically paid slaves, who ultimately did their time and then were free.
Well this one servant somehow owed the equivalent of (depending on who you listen to), 10 million to 6 billion dollars, probably stolen, basically an amount that could never be paid back. This is another of Jesus’ hyperboles to show that it was an unpayable sum. So the King said, “well how about we sell you, your family and everything you have to pay back the debt.” This was a common practice.
The servant got on his knees and begged the King to give him a chance. But he wasn’t being honest, he knew he could never pay it back. The King being compassionate though, gave him undeserved mercy and forgave the debt completely. Not too difficult to see the analogy here. We owed God far more than we could ever repay, so He cancelled the debt by sending Jesus to die on the cross as payment. If we get on our knees and accept Jesus’ lordship over our lives, ask for forgiveness, and become his servants, we are debt free. But this cost God more than money. It was a very costly free gift.
There is nothing this servant could have done to repay the debt even though he promised to (sound familiar?), how often have we promised to never do something ever again? Just like there is nothing we can do through our works to get this free pardon. This forgiveness is completely a one sided choice of the King.
We need to talk about what forgiveness is. Here we see the King putting no conditions on his forgiveness of the debt. When we forgive, we do it completely. We don’t say I will forgive you if you apologize, or I will forgive you if you never do it again. It’s also very easy to say we forgive, but continue to passive aggressively punish the person in spite of our words.
Forgiveness is also not forgetting. Do you think God forgot what he did with his son Jesus? I doubt it. But forgiveness is completely wiping the slate clean and behaving as if the offense never happened. We do not punish in any way if we have forgiven – justice is done in our hearts. Love is unlimited and “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor 13:5).
Forgiveness may not remove the penalty either. We hear of cases where a parent forgives someone for murdering their child and develops an ongoing relationship with the offender. But that doesn’t mean the offender doesn’t spend the rest of their lives in prison. Actions have consequences whether there is forgiveness or not. One of those consequences may be a broken relationship.
Forgiveness is also not careless or blind, that’s why it immediately follows the instructions for confronting the sinner. What does it mean in verse 15 when it says, success is when you have gained your brother. This word is the same as “winning” as in winning them to Christ. In other words the goal is to confront them with a spirit of love and forgiveness so that they will come back to Christ. That should always be the goal of any Christian discipline, reconciliation with Christ and the church. But if they don’t turn around, it doesn’t mean we don’t forgive.
Then we see the servant’s:
III. Failure to Pass it On (28-31)
Now we come to see the response or what is required when we accept this free gift. This forgiven servant now finds a fellow servant, in other words an equal, who owes him a relatively small amount. This guy pleads in exactly the same way but instead of forgiving, the forgiven servant put his debtor in prison until he could pay it back. How was he supposed to pay it back when he was in prison?
What I found interesting is that the King forgave an outrageous debt and believed the servant when he said he would pay it all back. The other servant wouldn’t even believe a very easy promise to keep. God is so merciful and trusting. Those who are trustworthy are usually the most trusting as well. God has a right to punish us for our debts, but instead he offers a relationship with Him. He accepts our promises that we know we can’t keep.
Imagine this everyone. Let’s say you owe the bank ten million dollars and make about $50,000 a year. You go to the bank and whine a little promising you’ll pay it eventually, but you know that’s really impossible. The bank then says “oh forget about it and here why not accept this yearly vacation to Disneyland for the rest of your life”. That would be pretty cool hey? But its nothing compared to what God did, because his gift is for eternity and allows us to be with Him.
Even the other servants could see the injustice of this man’s act so what did they do? They ratted him out to the King. See here we have the final stage of the process of church discipline, after trying to work it out with the person, we take it to the church. We are not supposed to sit back quietly when one of our brothers or sisters is caught in sin. But…
IV. Forgiveness is Required (32-35)
The King got very angry and dumped this guy into jail until he could pay it all back. See the implication? This guy will be in jail forever because he can never pay the debt. Likewise in verse 35 Jesus says, this is what the heavenly Father will do to each one of us who refuses to forgive – eternal prison. But the servant had a choice. He had already been given the gift, but he chose not to pass it on and he lost it.
A state of unforgiveness is probably the worst prison we can experience in life. I have met so many miserable people, some of the most stressed out people I know, because they choose to hang on to bitterness, revenge and unforgiveness. And I have witnessed that choosing unforgiveness is a way of hiding another emotional prison, that of guilt. Show me an unforgiving person, and I will show you a person who carries a load of guilt.
Wiersbe says that the problem with unforgiving people is that they have received forgiveness but they have never experienced forgiveness in their hearts, so they don’t know how to share it. When we have truly experienced forgiveness from God, our hearts will be soft and humble and we will have a desire to grant this gift to others.
Just a note on the other guy. Well, he only had to come up with about a day’s wage to get out of prison, so he probably could have got that together in a relatively short time from somewhere, but I bet he was released when this other guy went in. So it shows us that even though other people may be able to persecute us, God has the final say and His justice will always prevail.
Let’s get back to the first servant. In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus clearly says that if you forgive others the Father will forgive you, but if you don’t neither will He. It’s even in the Lord’s prayer. Forgiveness is not suggested, it is required, and it sure sounds like our salvation depends on it. But salvation is an irrevocable gift with no conditions.
We are talking about a relationship with God and participation in the Kingdom. I don’t think there is jail in heaven, but it certainly sounds like our freedom will be limited and God will judge us if we don’t forgive. Once again if we can’t take what God has given us and joyfully give it to others, there has to be a serious problem with our understanding of, and relationship with the Lord.
And this is where our salvation may be questioned. Not that salvation depends on forgiveness, but that forgiveness may depend on salvation. In other words, if I can’t forgive, am I saved? This passage is saying two things: 1) that God’s mercy has not had a saving effect on the first servant, and 2) he will be liable to pay the consequences himself. Again I ask all of us. Would you rather take the chance that unforgiveness may affect your salvation, or just go ahead, get your heart right, and forgive already! What’s the worst thing that could happen if you forgive, your pride might be hurt? We know what Jesus would say about that don’t we?
What is the greatest commandment? Love God and love others. Can you really fully love others if you are harboring unforgiveness in your heart? This is very important to Jesus who forgave on the cross, who said love your enemies, if someone steals from you, give them more, if someone hits on one cheek, give them the other. Why? So that we will appear different, and can witness for Christ by being like him.
What about loving God? Are we loving Him if we refuse to forgive? John 14 tells us what loving God looks like 1) verse 21, keep or do his commandments, 2) verse 23 keep or do his word 3) whoever does not love me does not do my words. Sorry folks but here it is again, if you love God (and this is the greatest commandment) you will obey his commands, his word. So the answer is easy, don’t forgive people, and you are not loving God despite what you say.
Then in John 15 Jesus goes even further. After he says we need to bear fruit, that the greatest commandment is to love others as he loved us, he says you are my friends if you do what I command you. Now listen to this, (read John 15:15-17). Not only does he forgive us as servants, but if we obey his commands we actually change classes and become no longer servants, but friends. He even says that if we obey we can ask for anything like he did, and it will be done. Oh yeah, I forgot the verse in between, read verse 13… That’s exactly what he did, and we can’t forgive a brother or sister?
Forgiveness is a command. Just to forgive once? Nope, forgive as many times as someone offends you, never stop forgiving. Do you see why he says in this (the great commandment) all others are contained? Forgiveness is an act of love toward the person and toward God. And I would even say toward ourselves.
I find it interesting that immediately after closing chapter 18 here, the very next verses he begins a talk about divorce. Must just be coincidence that forgiveness and divorce are talked about one after the other.
It all comes down to pride and the desire for justice. These are the things that get in the way of true forgiveness. So if you are having trouble giving forgiveness, perhaps you need to be working on letting go of the need for justice. Sometimes life just ain’t fair, and God or anyone else never promised it would be. The extent to which we can live with this fact will greatly help us to live free lives out of the prison of unforgiveness.
If you aren’t convinced yet let me read a couple other quick verses: Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” And Colossians 3:13 “Forbearing one another and, if one of you has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
I believe that extreme forgiveness is possibly the greatest Christian witness. Time and time again it is through forgiveness of things that seem unforgivable, that people see Christ in us and want to accept Him. Jesus says be that person.
