"FRIENDS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE"
I SAMUEL 18:1-5
(Focal Text: Verse 1)
On March 11, 1991, eight-year-old Anthony Henderson upset the distinguished leader of our nation, President George Bush. President Bush was visiting Anthony’s school and had sat down beside Anthony to read him a book. Suddenly in the midst of the reading Anthony Henderson queried, "Are you really the President?" Mr. Bush was quite surprised by the question and even moreso as he saw the serious look on the lad’s face. President Bush responded, "Yeah, you mean you didn’t know that?" "Did you think I was a pretend guy or something?" Mr. Bush then muttered, "how can I prove it to you?" Our president of the United States then proceeded to pull out identification from his wallet. "Let’s see now, here is my driver’s license; see it says B-U-S-H, Bush." "My name is George Herbert Walker Bush". Anthony didn’t seem convinced. President Bush then pulled out a series of identification items he thought would persuade the child of the truth. "Here is my American Express Card; here is a picture of my grandchild and here is one of my grandson playing baseball". Finally Mr. Bush said, "I guess that is all I have to show you unless you will accept that black limousine out there; or maybe I’ll give you an autograph". "Oh no", replied Anthony. "The teacher said we can’t take autographs". There is a picture in the March issue of USA Today of Anthony Henderson sitting with a puzzled President examining his American Express Card. Don’t leave home without it. But even that didn’t help George Herbert Walker Bush with Anthony Henderson.
Listen church, it is getting harder and harder to get sinners to come to your church. Do you know why? Its because the world is looking for proof that we are what we say we are. Just because you sit in the church house every Sunday will not convince the world you’re a bonafide Christian anymore than a driver’s license convinced Anthony Henderson of our President’s identity. What is it going to take? Jesus gave us that answer in John 13:35, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another".
I want to talk to you about the one thing a church must have to be a growing church. Its the one and only thing our Lord said would identify you as a true Christian and a true church. It is love for each other. The message of the Lord to your hearts is entitled, "Friends For Christ’s Sake". Let me say this. If you love each other you will have to be friends. So often you will hear people say, "I’ll love them but I don’t have to be friends with them." Let me tell you that the Bible ties friendship and love together. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". Jesus Himself said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends". This church nor any other will ever grow as it ought, ever have revival as it should, ever be the kind of church Jesus wants it to be until every person here is friends with each other.
Now there are different types of friendships. Rollo May says that people make between 500 and 2500 acquaintances each year, but they have fewer than seven personal friends. Erma Bombeck says that "a true friend is somebody who doesn’t go on a diet when you’re fat". Each of us have numerous acquaintances that we thank God for and then there are those few personal intimate very close friends that have enriched our lives. But what I want to herald and exalt to you is the kind of friendship that makes a church worth going to. I want to commend to your hearts the kind of friendship that will bring Heaven-sent, God-anointed, Holy Ghost moving, honey-dew dripping, sweet-heart of a revival in your church everyday, not just a couple of weeks out of the year. It is the kind of friendship that Jonathan and David had over 3000 years ago. Notice verse one again in our text. David had just slain Goliath of Gath and reported the victory account to king Saul in the king’s quarters. Obviously Jonathan had listened and marveled in admiration for the great young shepherd boy from Bethlehem who had defeated the Philistine enemy. Now verse one says, "the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul". Outside of the cross of Calvary that is the most beautiful description of a friendship ever to be found in the Word of God. The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David. For that description I will call these two "soul friends". Oh beloved, the closer the members of a church get to the point where they can be called "soul friends" the greater the fellowship will be. The harder you work at making a covenant with God and with each other to follow Jonathan and David’s example to be "soul friends" that is when you’ll see folks flocking to your church. Three things God would have me to say to you tonight on the subject, "Being Friends For Christ’s Sake".
THE REASONS FOR SOUL FRIENDSHIP
First of all, lets talk about the reasons for being soul friends. When you look at the lives of David and Jonathan there seems to be little reason that they would become friends. David was from a poor family, the son of a poor shepherd. I Samuel 18:23 reveals that fact when David offers the excuse to king Saul of his inability to become a son-in-law on the basis of inability to provide a marriage dowry. Yet his bosom buddy, prince Jonathan, has the riches of his father’s kingdom at his fingertips. David was about seventeen years old and Jonathan was about forty. Yet age difference here seemed to present no barrier to their friendship. Their largely contrasting backgrounds held no sway over the heartfelt loyalty they shared for each other. Why did Jonathan love David as his own soul?
That question is increasingly more difficult to answer when you realize the cost Jonathan paid to be a "soul friend" to David. Three bitter impersonal enemies waged a battle against the holy and honorable covenant relationship David and Jonathan had together. But Jonathan was the one who took the greater risk.
First of all, Jonathan didn’t let PARENTAL JEALOUSY stand between him and David. Jonathan’s father, Saul, was violently jealous and bitterly resentful of David, especially when the women of Jerusalem were chanting, "Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands". Saul feared for his position on the throne. Jonathan was willing to be right in the middle of a resentment campaign to preserve a friendship with the Lord’s servant. Notice with me how bad Saul got over this issue. Verse 8 says, "Saul was very wroth". The word "wroth" literally means to "glow" or "grow warm". Like a red hot stove cap Saul was burning with jealous rage. He was about to pop. Verse 9 says, "And Saul eyed David from that day and forward". He eyed David with mischief in his heart. But what I want you to notice in earnest is that statement in verse 10: "And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul". Then it tells us that Saul cast a javelin at David to kill him while he was playing sweet music on the harp. Now, I don’t want to get tied up in arguing as some do over whether God directly sent the evil spirit on Saul or not. I do not believe God is the author of evil. But I do believe that you can so sin against God’s will, purpose and ways that He just backs off and lets all the evil spirits in that you’re inviting in the first place. That is what I believe is happening here with Saul. So let me just say two things here. Number one, the chief proof that "soul friendship" is of God is that hell will fight it with the spirit of jealousy. Secondly, whenever there is the spirit of jealousy over that "soul friendship" let me assure you that such a spirit is a "spirit of evil". In case you don’t understand what I’m saying let me make it real plain. Wherever there is jealousy over "soul friendships" there is demonic activity. What is an "evil spirit"? It is a demon at work sowing the seeds of hell’s emotions in people’s hearts. That is what it is!
I remember going to a church in Tennessee right out of seminary to preach in view of a call. I’ll never forget what the chairman of the pulpit committee told me there. Privately he mentioned to me, "Brother Tim, now you know as a pastor you cannot be close friends with anyone in the church; it causes problems." Do you know what my response was to the man? I said, "Brother so-in-so, I would hope, that if I come to this church, I could be close friends with everybody in this church." There was a spirit of jealousy there. It was an evil spirit. It was the work of Satan and his demons. But friends, look at Jonathan. Usually sons take on their father’s attitudes. If dad hates someone so will the son. But Jonathan was so inoculated with the Spirit of God that he was immune to his father’s evil spirit of jealousy.
There is a second thing Jonathan had to fight to stay friends with David. He fought a battle in his mind most assuredly with PROPER JURISDICTION. Look with me to I Samuel 20:31. Saul says to his son Jonathan who loves David, "For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die". It was just proper for Saul’s son, Jonathan, to succeed him to the throne. But Jonathan covenanted friendship with the man who would take the throne away from him. Now folks, do you know the test of a true friend? No greater love can a man have than when he lays down his life for his friends. David got the throne but Jonathan got the greater prize - David’s covenant love and protection. David watched over Jonathan’s five-year-old son, Mephibosheth, even after Jonathan died.
Thirdly, Jonathan did not let PERSONAL JEOPARDY come between him and David. Read the story again how Jonathan risked secret meetings with David to protect his friend. But I Samuel 20:33 tells us that Jonathan’s own father threw a javelin at him to kill him for his friendship with David. Now, there is where most folks abandon the friendship. If it is going to cost them their jobs, their security, or their life, the rats will jump the drowning ship. But not Jonathan - his love was faithful to the end. A friend loveth at all times.
Why would the king’s son love David so? I can think of one supreme reason: It is the way of God. You would be amazed, as I have, to do a study in the Bible on friendship. Across the pages of God’s Word are countless stories of established friendships which prove it is God’s way. You begin in the garden of Eden where He is not only your Creator but the Friend who walks with His creation in the cool of the day. In Genesis 38 there is Judah and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. In II Samuel 15 there is Hushai, the friend of David, who is instrumental in stopping a national rebellion by Absalom. In I Kings 4:5 there is Zabud, king Solomon’s friend. Three times the Bible speaks of Abraham as "the friend of God". But no greater witness can there be to this holy endeavor of being soul friends than the life of Jesus. They hurled an accusation that became His finest compliment, "Behold...a friend of publicans and sinners". While Jesus was here on this earth He had his friends. Though he had twelve disciples there were three - Peter, James and John, who became his closest intimate companions. Jesus loved all and perhaps visited many homes while here on this earth. But there was one home and three special friends in that home at Bethany where Jesus stayed. It was the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. The proof of His special friendship with them is that the one time when scripture mentions Jesus weeping was when he got the news that Lazarus was dead. He was very close to them. But I guess the greatest testimony of all is John 15:15 where Jesus says to His disciples, "Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you". What a Friend we have in Jesus! It is the way of God to establish soul friendships. Any other direction is a departure from the living God.
THE RESULTS OF SOUL FRIENDSHIPS
Let us also speak for a moment about the results of soul friendship. Four great things will happen to your life and your church if you develop the covenant love for each other that existed between Jonathan and David.
First of all, LIVES MAY BE SAVED. There is no doubt in my mind that David would have been slain by Saul had not Jonathan stood in the gap to be his friend. Once in the annals of time before these two a jealousy battle raged between the Omnipotent God of the universe and one of His angelic creations named Lucifer. Caught in the middle and drawn into sin and transgression before the Lord, mankind fell from grace and stood a perfect chance to die by Divine Justice. But hanging in the middle on an Old Rugged Cross shedding every precious drop of His blood was Jesus, the Friend of Sinners. He did that to save souls from death. Now listen to me, church. I want to tell you something and then ask you something. No church ever wins many souls from the death grip of sin who can’t be friends with each other. Now the question: How many souls will be lost to hell because you couldn’t be "soul friends" together and united in the efforts to save them from a devil’s hell? A spirit of jealousy and resentment damns and destroys the cause of Christ more than anything I know.
Secondly, the result of soul friendship is the LOAD MAY BE SHARED. David was all alone but Jonathan shared his load. What David could not do himself Jonathan was there to meet the need. Some churches and some Christians often develop the attitude, "I can do it all by myself; I don’t need old so-in-so to do anything; I don’t like them so I’ll crawl off in my spiritual corner and just do my own thing". Let me tell you something. Just about the time you become "independently spiritual" God will "take you down a peg or two" as my mother used to say to me and He’ll show you that there are some things you can’t do as an individual in the church by yourself or even with a select few. Moses, the great leader of God, could do almost anything: part the Red Sea, get water out of a rock, turn a rod into a serpent. But one day he stood atop a mountain in Rephidim as Israel was fighting Amalek in the valley below and he couldn’t even do something as simple as hold his arms up. If his arms were up Israel was winning. If they dropped the battle went against them. He had to have two friends, Aaron and Hur, to stand on each side to hold his arms up. Now, Aaron had made Moses mad a time or two. He could have refused to have anything to do with Aaron. He could have been unfriendly but the Lord’s cause would have suffered. That’s just it. God’s cause will always suffers when folks hold grudges against each other and refuse to be friends for Christ’s sake.
Thirdly, the result of soul friendship is that LOVE MAY BE SHOWN. Through the years of ministry I have received many nice gifts from our friends in the ministry. But the greatest gift from a true friend is unselfish love and constant abiding companionship. Jonathan loved David this way and showed it by giving him some astounding gifts. Verse 4 says, "And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle". Four things Jonathan gave to David and each of them significant to prove real friendship. There was his robe. Now this was a prince’s robe, the royal vesture. To take it off and put it on another’s back was the highest sign of humility. This gift meant Jonathan would bow to promote his friend. Are you a real friend? Then your cause is not near as important as your friends. He also gave him his sword. The sword was the principle weapon of offense. Jesus spoke of men who carried the sword would die by the sword. Jonathan was willing to bleed to preserve his friend. He gave him his bow. What a gift! Jonathan was a Benjamite and the Benjamites were skilled archers. This bow was linked with his identity. True friendship is willing to sacrifice our own identity to better the life of a friend. Also the bow was an instrument that had to bend to perform its function. Jonathan was willing to bend to protect his friend, David. True friendship is flexible and dependable like Jonathan’s bow. It is not rigid with demands that the friend must live up to in order to maintain that friendship. Finally, Jonathan gave him his girdle. The girdle was like a belt in those days. To gird up oneself was to be ready for battle or service. Jonathan then told David by giving him his girdle he was ready to battle to provide for his friend. The girdle was a symbol of strength, activity and power. Jonathan was not a friend in word only. Let me tell you something, folks. I’ve learned something in twelve years of pastoring. Not everybody who says they’re your friend is. Isaiah 11:5 says the girdle of the Lord is righteousness and faithfulness. If you’re to be a true soul friend you will do like Jonathan did to David. You’ll say it, mean it and practice it: "I’ll always do right by you and be faithful to you my friend".
Finally let me say that the result of soul friendships will be that LEARNING IS SHARPENED. Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend". You do not sharpen an ax on a pound of butter. You sharpen it on something that is strong and firm, stone or steel. Because of that I want to tell you two things that are important about establishing "soul friendships". It is vitally important that you choose your friends wisely. If you have a so-called friend who is pulling you away from the Lord that person is not your friend. If they are not making you a better person for Jesus don’t believe the lie any longer that they are your friends. God says a true friend will sharpen and make better your life for God, not dull it. In fact God expressly declares in Deuteronomy 13:6-8 that if a friend entices you to do things wrong in the sight of God you are not to do it, you are not to listen to them, you are not to make excuses of pity for that so-called friend. In fact the Lord says you are to get rid of a friend like that. Moses writes "thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death". Now, I’m not advocating murder of a life. I’m advocating murder of a relationship that is dead already and is dragging you away from God. Perhaps you run around with that friend because they make you feel good. Do you know what that is? The Bible calls it "flattery". Flattery and hypocrisy are wicked step-brothers. You see folks, a hypocrite will say behind your back what he is not willing to say to your face and a flatterer will say to your face what he’s not willing to say behind your back. Flattery comes from hypocritical false friends. You may feel good when you’re around them but God says true soul friendship centers around "doing good" not "feeling good". True friends love us enough to confront us when we’re doing wrong. Proverbs 27:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful". Through the years of following God’s call to be a pastor I’ve had to say things to people that I knew before I said it would make them so mad they’d probably hate me. But folks, I’d rather be a wounding friend than a kissing enemy.
THE RESTORATION OF SOUL FRIENDSHIP
Now I would be terribly negligent if I didn’t close this message with a brief word about the restoration of soul friendship. There’s a cute little poem I came across the other day written by some unknown author. It goes like this:
"Yes, you did, too!"
"I did not!"
Thus the little quarrel started;
Thus by unkind little words
Two fond friends were parted.
"I am sorry."
"So am I."
Thus the little quarrel ended,
Thus by loving little words
Two fond hearts were mended.
There are three things I know has to happen before soul friendships can be established or restored when they are broken. PRIDE HAS TO BREAK. THE KNEE HAS TO BOW. THE LORD HAS TO WIN. Saul’s jealous pride never broke that he and David could be just as good of friends as David and his son, Jonathan. Saul paid for that dearly. He lost his crown. He lost his mind and he lost his life right beside his loving son Jonathan at Mount Gilboa. They all were slain by the Philistines, the very enemy David adeptly defeated before their very eyes. What does this say? It says if you’re too prideful to restore and rebuild friendship that is lost between you and another brother or sister in this congregation then you will die and go to your grave when all the while the sweetness of God’s blessing stares you in the face.
You must also bow the knee. No more stirring and wise words could be found on this subject than Job 42:10, "And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends." Now remember that Job didn’t like these friends because they had kicked him when he was down. You’ve lost that respect, that love, and that admiration and closeness to someone here? You need to get on your knees before God on behalf of that person. Do you want to stay in captivity to those evil emotions that rage within you for the rest of your life? You’re the one suffering. God can make you a better person right now if you’ll let go of your pride and get on your knees.
Finally, the Lord must win. General Ulysses S. Grant, who commanded the Union soldiers for Lincoln, was such a disciplined hard man on his soldiers that few knew of his weakness for liquor. One of those who was keenly aware of Grant’s shortcoming was his faithful friend, Galena lawyer, and later chief of staff for president Grant, John A. Rawlins. In the front of the Capitol building at Washington D.C. there is a magnificent monument of General Grant sitting on his horse in a characteristic pose and flanked by battle scenes on each side. The venerated Grant towers in bronze magnificence for all to see. At the opposite end of Pennsylvania Avenue to the farthest southern end of the street there is a very ordinary, commonplace statue of John A. Rawlins, Grant’s faithful and true friend. But what many do not know is that John A. Rawlins privately pleaded with the drunken, dissolute man General Grant to abstain from liquor for the sake of himself and the great holy cause of the nation. It was John A. Rawlins’ faithful friendship that kept Ulysses S. Grant on his horse.
Now my friends, would you stop and just think for a moment where you are spiritually in your life. Behind you is a bleeding and dying Saviour. The reason you’re saved is because of Him. The reason you’re here is because of Him. The reason you’ve got a home in glory is because of Him. The reason God doesn’t turn you away in holy disgust to a devil’s hell is because of Him. Will you tell Jesus tonight that there are those in this church you refuse to be friends with for His sake? Someone is looking for proof that you are who you say you are. AMEN
