Randy Frazee wrote a book called “The Connecting Church.” He has a son who was born without a left hand. One day in Sunday School the teacher was talking with the children about the church. To illustrate her point she folded her hands together and said, “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple; open the doors and see all the people.”
She then asked the class to do it along with her – obviously not thinking about Randy’s son’s ability to pull it off. Then it dawned on her that the boy wouldn’t be able to join in. Before she could do anything about it, the little boy next to his son, a friend of his from the time they were babies, reached out his left hand and said, “Let’s do it together.” The two boys proceeded to join hands together to make the church and the steeple.
Frazee says, “This hand exercise should never be done again by an individual – because the church is not a collection of individuals – but the ONE BODY of CHRIST.”
Jesus also set this example with His disciples and that's what we'll be considering in this new series.
One of the interesting things about studying the Good News Accounts about the life of Jesus is how Jesus interacted with them and how they interacted with one another. We often focus so much on how Jesus interacted with the disciples that we fail to see how they related to one another.
So we’re going to discover some practical information about our friendships and how we need the support of a small group in life in order to grow spiritually and to help one another.
What we’re going to do for the next few weeks is look at the interactions between Christ’s 12 apostles to see what we can learn how to more effectively relate to our friends. And we’re going to especially SEE THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A SMALL GROUP OF FRIENDS TO INTERACT WITH.
How do you handle someone who has the outspoken personality of a Simon Peter, who is often opening his mouth before he has completely thought through what he or she should to say? Do you know anyone like that? Is there anybody here like that?
Or how do you relate to an Apostle James or John, who had this tremendous drive to set people straight, not always thinking about mercy and gentleness? (That’s why they were nicknamed “Sons of Thunder.”) I bet you know someone like that too! Odds are some of you have that disposition.
Jesus was teaching us a lot about how to have good, solid friendships, by how He was leading His small group – the twelve apostles. He didn’t give up on them because they had faults. He taught us the importance of relating with others on a spiritual plane in a smaller setting than the crowd. He taught us the value of small groups. He purposely put these guys together so that they could learn to get along with each other in spite of their differences. In fact it was a vital part of their training. It was a vital part of their growth, not only as leaders, but as friends. In teaching them Jesus was teaching us.
We meet for corporate worship together on Sundays and that’s great. But that’s only one part of the formula devised by God for our spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well-being. It takes more than just corporate Sunday worship to grow like we should grow spiritually and develop deep, caring friendships with others. So today we’re LAUNCHING sign-ups for small groups at Pathway.
Why is this such a big deal? Because Jesus made it a big deal! The Bible makes it clear that a lot of the spiritual formation that God wants you to achieve in your life occurs through interaction within a small group. We’ll see that in this 3-part series.
He doesn’t want you to continue being frustrated by certain things in your life because you aren’t making any progress. When you don’t grow you keep on fighting the same battles over and over. In this new year think about setting some growth goals in your spiritual life and in your relationships.
One of the God-initiated great ways to grow is to plug into a small group; to team up with a small group of friends on a regular basis to interact with one another purposefully.
When you get among a smaller group of friends trying to love each other the way Christ loves us and start interacting with Christ and His followers the way Jesus Himself did – the ways His apostles did - you begin to grow. You begin to learn how to handle one another’s faults and still love each other and be a blessing to one another. You begin to see yourself in a new light and you learn from one another.
There’s this game on Facebook called “Bejewelled Blitz.” A bunch of different colored geometric figures need to be lined up three in a row and you score points by how much you can line up in a minute’s time. I saw a few months ago where some folks from Pathway were playing it so I thought I would check it out. Besides, the older you get you need to do things to challenge your brain and this game makes you concentrate.
For a month or so I just tried to increase my score by trial and error. Then I wised up. I finally broke down and clicked on the “Hints and Tips” button where other people shared what caused them to get higher scores. Know what? My score increased when I started learning from others. I’m not a Bejwelled Blitz champion or anything but I enjoy the game more.
I’m convinced that Jesus chose twelve apostles to show us how to learn from each other while we’re learning from Him. By being in a small group we enjoy life more!
In the first installment of this three-part series I draw your attention to the example the Apostle Matthew. Most of you already know that before Jesus called him Matthew was a Jew who worked for the Romans gathering taxes from his own people. Tax collectors like Matthew were hated, even despised by their fellow Jews. They not only worked for the oppressive Roman government but they often lived high on the hog with taxpayer money. More taxes they gathered; more bonuses they received. Nonetheless, Jesus calls Matthew to JOIN HIS SMALL GROUP. Here’s what happened in Matthew’s own words.
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.
10 Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. 11 But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?”
12 When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” 13 Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Matthew 9:9-13 (NLT)
What a wonderful biographical snippet given to us by Matthew! He gave up a lucrative living to find a meaningful way of life following Jesus - and then he wanted his friends to get in on the true riches in Christ! So He invites Jesus and the rest of the small group over for dinner! This biopic by Matthew gives us three…
REASONS FOR PLUGGING IN TO A SMALL GROUP
In the first place: SMALL GROUPS OFFER ACCEPTANCE.
9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.
In an amazing display of acceptance, Jesus chose a tax collector to be one of the 12 apostles! And then this tax collector opens up his home for a small group meeting! Matthew invites a bunch of his tax collector buddies and “other disreputable sinners” to his house for dinner! What’s up with that?
Last week I was shopping for some bookcases. The first place I looked was in one of the local thrift stores that has what they call an “as is” room. Whenever you enter that room you automatically know that the items there have a blemish or they need fixing. But the tradeoff is, it’s less expensive. I bought five bookcases and all five of them had scratches and chips gone out of them but they were a good deal.
That’s how Christ chooses His followers. We all come out of the “as is” room! We all have blemishes and we all need fixing. But Jesus doesn’t discard us because we need help. Furthermore, He doesn’t wait for us to “fix” ourselves before He chooses us. He loves us just the way we are!
Jesus made a bold statement calling Matthew to join His small group! He went on record publicly that everyone is accepted in the body of Christ! And He taught His disciples to perpetuate this way of life! The small group that Jesus established as an example for us – His 12 apostles – was not a clique. Cliques are exclusive. Christ’s small groups are inclusive!
Friendships among people who genuinely follow Jesus are authentic friendships. Christ and those who follow Him don’t just accept you as a friend because of your looks or your background, your IQ or your status. In fact, by choosing Matthew Jesus was making a statement about how His followers ought to choose friends.
This is radical but it is so very essential!
Christ-like small groups – on purpose - accept people who are different, people who have issues, even people who are NOT accepted elsewhere! People like Matthew the tax collector.
Can you imagine a country club today running an ad like this: “We want all of you doctors who’ve been sued for malpractice to join our club. We want all you lawyers who’ve been disbarred to join…all you professional athletes that have tested positive for steroids……all you business owners who’ve failed…
No, you won’t see an advertisement like that…except…from the people who follow Jesus!
If you are sincerely looking for a place to belong, a place where you can GET OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP YOU even though you’ve made mistakes and have blemishes; a place where you’re accepted “as is;” a place where people will be your friend even after they get to know you…then join a small group that is based on the principles of Christ’s small group!
You ought to join a small group because they offer acceptance; acceptance based on relationships, not accomplishment. Which leads to the second reason you ought to be in a small group…
Secondly: SMALL GROUPS OFFER FRIENDSHIP.
10 Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his d
isciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. 11 But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?”
Henri Nouwen writes: “The Church is not an institution forcing us to follow its rules. It is a community of people inviting us to still our hunger and thirst at its tables.”
That first word of verse 10 is interesting, “Later.” “Later,” after Matthew had spent some time with Jesus and His small group he realizes what had been missing from his life for so long he was now enjoying. He had been hungry for a deeper and more meaningful friendship. He had now been experiencing authentic friendship and he wanted his old friends to enjoy it too! He now had a new group of friends but he wanted his old group of friends to see friendship in an entirely new and better way!
Our Maker so designed us that our nature finds ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment only in a friendship with Him and other friendships that acknowledge Him.
So Matthew used his home to introduce people to Jesus – and get this – these were the people who would not normally have attended church - because in most houses of worship in those days – they would not have been welcomed! I don’t think people just stay away from church because they reject God – I think that’s one reason. But another reason is – and it pains me to say this – some people stay away from church, not because they reject God, but because the church rejects them.
Matthew hoped the dinner would lead to dialog which would lead to discipleship.
Matthew had been a social outcast. He knew what the sting of rejection felt like. It’s not difficult to imagine that if Matthew tried to go to the Jewish temple to worship, or to a synagogue, he would have received rough treatment from the starchy and UNfriendly religionists. But now he had something better than religion! He had a relationship with Christ and he wanted his outcast friends to know friendship with Christ also!
Matthew invited his friends and business associates into his home so that they could see Jesus wasn’t just another hypocritical and standoffish religious teacher. Here was a rabbi with a smile and a warm personality! Here was a guy you could sit down to dinner with! Here was someone who wasn’t like the Pharisees who said, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum.”
Here was someone who wanted to be the friend of sinners! In fact, Matthew records that Christ’s enemies literally called Him, A friend of tax collectors and sinners… Matthew 11:19 (NLT)
Jesus proved how great His love for us is when He died on the cross for our sins. He took our place to offer us His friendship.
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 (NLT)
Jesus laid down His life because He wants to be our friend and then He brought a small group together to model the way that a small group meets our need for friendship. You ought to join a small group because they afford you friendship.
Thirdly: SMALL GROUPS OFFER HEALING.
We're not just talking about physical healing here, although, there have been plenty of medical studies to show the value of interaction with a small group of friends. It's a known fact that, generally speaking, having friends decreases your blood pressure, your cholesterol, and even boosts your immune system!
But mainly we're considering the fact that particpation in an authentic small group like the apostles offers healing from the hurts of life. Perhaps you've been hurt by your parents, your partner, or your peers. One of the best ways to be healed from life's hurts is participation in a small group of friends.
Matthew records that Jesus heard the snide remarks of the Pharisees who said Why does your teacher eat with such scum?
12 When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” 13 Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”
Matthew went from being isolated by the stigma of being a tax collector to inclusion in a small group because he had experienced in that small group that each one of us needs to experience: healing.
There is something spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and even physically therapeutic about being FRIENDSHIP and ACCEPTANCE into a small group! Everyone of us longs for this healing. We were not created for isolation. We were created for community. But not just any community. Healing takes place in a community that is wired for healing.
Why? Why do Christ-like small groups offer more than a small group of drinking buddies, or a small group of shopping buddies, or sports buddies, or whatever, offer?
One phrase of Jesus gives us the answer to that question. He quoted Hosea 6:6, I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices. The Amplified Bible helps us understand the meaning even more.
I desire mercy [that is, readiness to help those in trouble] and not sacrifice… Matthew 9:13(Amp)
The religious establishment surrounding Matthew was of absolutely no help to him whatsoever. They didn’t want to get their hands dirty with sinners like Matthew. Jesus, on the other hand, said, “Come join my small group. I’m not like the other religious teachers. I came for those who realize they’re sick and need a doctor. There’s healing in my small group!”
So today I want you to take out the small group registration form and sign up for a small group.
Please also fill in the name of someone unchurched you plan to invite to the small group. Follow Matthew's example!
