The Bonds of Bitterness
Eph. 4:31
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Intro: Has someone ever said or done something to you for which you found it difficult to forgive them?
1. Hear their name, it still brings butterflies to your stomach.
2. Think of them, your heart rate increases.
3. When you think about it. You were reliving it again?
4. If so, you are in the bonds of bitterness.
5. Bitterness doesn’t touch the person, but it harms you
Some are bitter toward parents, a boss, a spouse, a business partner who skipped with money, toward the church or the pastors, someone hurt their feelings.
Bitterness is like a cancer that turns healthy bodies into a cold corpse it not removed!
Hebrews 12:15 says, 15looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
Many emotions which we feel are not necessarily sin:
Anger—“be ye angry and sin not”
(it’s possible…righteous indignation)
But when anger gets out of its cage, it’s sin.
(Or when the object of our anger is misplaced)
Guilt is not always sin
Sometimes the Lord gives us a Godly guilt, a conscience, a convicting, to get us back onto the straight and narrow.
But Satan uses guilt to paralyze us in our Christian walk…and when guilt gets out of its cage it is sin.
Grief is not always sin.
Grief is a gift from God when used to help us heal from loss or sorrow of some kind. But if we refuse to allow the Holy Spirit to comfort our grief, it becomes self-pity…a sin.
Anger/guilt/grief, are they sin? Maybe so, maybe not.
There is a human emotion that is always, w/ out exception, a sin: Bitterness!! Bitterness and unforgiveness is always sin!
If you spit in my eye, you have sinned. If I turn away in bitterness, I have sinned.
You question my motives/ injure me falsely…
Have you been sinned against?
Don’t join in on the sinning by responding wrong!
Who is that person that comes to mind?
For whom do you hold bitterness, if you’re honest w/ God today? Don’t explain it away…they came to mind for a reason.
The Holy Spirit brings them to your mind because He loves you and wants to rid you of a cancer that is eating you from inside out!
It may have been last week, month, year or many years ago. …I don’t care if it was decades ago when you were a child…
but you know in your heart that you’ve never truly forgiven them for it.
And whatever you do, don’t say: I don’t hardly ever think about them at all. That wasn’t the question.
The question is when you DO think about them, or someone else brings it up even, what are your thoughts about them? “Thank you Lord for forgiving me though I don’t deserve it, and for not holding my sins against me…and thank you for giving me the power to forgive others.”
Let’s all be honest, no denial…who is it?
6 things Bitterness will do to your life:
1. Bitterness will devastate you spiritually
A. Why? For 2 reasons:
1. Because bitterness necessitates that you walk in the
flesh, and not in the Spirit.
2. Every Christians makes that choice every day, many
times a day, to take a step in the flesh or to take a step
in the Spirit. There’s only 2 choices
3. We can’t control what happens in life, but we can control
how we respond/react!
B. If you have unresolved bitterness in your life, you are not
right with God, and you are not walking in the Spirit, but in
the flesh!
1.Why? Gal. 5:22 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control.
2.These are the very things you hold back from those whom you have bitterness and unforgiveness toward!
3.As long as you are bitter…You are w/ them and don’t feel like displaying love.
4.You think about them and don’t feel joy, and have no peace at all!
5.You aren’t longsuffering, or you would give them more latitude…you’d think about how much you’ve been forgiven for by Christ and it would make it easier to forgive them yourself,
6. even if they don’t deserve forgiveness…neither do you! (which is meekness!)
You can erase them from your hit list if you’re walking in the Spirit!
The very next chapter drives it all home:
Gal. 6:7 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption
Yes, bitterness will devastate you spiritually
C. Holding bitterness is walking in the flesh…sowing to the
flesh, and it will eat you up inside.
D. It’s impossible to be wrong w/ man and right w/ God at the
same time.
1. Because bitterness necessitates that you walk in the
flesh, and not in the Spirit.
2. Because bitterness halts spiritual growth altogether.
E. You stop growing in grace the moment you begin to harbor
bitterness in your heart.
1. God says, the train stops right here, and doesn’t move again until you take the stow-away of bitterness and throw him off the train!
Bitterness will devastate you spiritually…
2. Bitterness will destroy you physically
A. It’s like a constantly running machine.
1.It’s not an occurrence, it’s a lifestyle. It enters into your subconscious mind, and it runs while you’re sleeping, eating, watching TV, talking to a friend.
2.And medical doctors say bitterness will affect your body, your physical health.
B. Bitterness has been medically linked to glandular problems,
high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers, and even
insanity.
One leading psychiatrist wrote, “90% of all people in insane asylums could be released immediately if they would learn how to forgive, or how to be forgiven.”
An article from The Gospel Herald:
“There was a man whose health was good. He was sturdy and strong. His heart action and blood pressure were fine. Then his father died, and he got into a prolonged legal dispute with his sister about their father’s will. The case went to court, and the sister won. From that day on, the man could think of nothing more than the lawsuit and his sister. He talked about it, he thought about it, he filled himself w/ it, it became an obsession. And each day, he grew to hate his sister more. Then he began to have difficulty with his heart and blood pressure. Next, his kidneys bothered him. Before many months, complications killed him. It seems obvious that he died from bodily injuries brought on by powerful emotion. I believe the man killed himself, death by bitterness.”
All sickness is caused by bitterness, but I am saying it’s impossible to be bitter, and it not affect your body.
Prisoner of Bitterness? Let Christ set you free, because: Bitterness will devastate1. spiritually, destroy you physically…
3. Bitterness will Discourage you emotionally
Where there’s bitterness, there’s discouragement. Because bitterness leads to paranoia. You start to develop a victim’s mentality=everyone’s out to get you. You become negative, critical, and paranoid. You become judgmental of others and think you know their motives. You think people are talking about you.
Joke—can’t go to football game because team huddles and you’re sure they’re talking about you. (looking for contact!)
Ill.—teacher makes student hold book at arm’s length…kid laughs…it’s not heavy…but after a while, sweat will pour and tears will roll, and he’ll beg for mercy.
Some of you minimize the seriousness of that “little bit of bitterness” you may have…and you say, it’s not really a problem for me…but you hold onto it long enough and you’ll drop your spiritual arms in discouragement!
That’s why our text says in Heb. 12:12— 12So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees
Prisoner of Bitterness? Let Christ set you free, because: Bitterness will devastate you spiritually/destroy you physically/discourage you emotionally…
4. Bitterness will Divide the fellowship
God has been good to First Assembly. 10 Young people were
saved last Wed. Night-25 young people were saved at “See
You at the POLE!”
A.If you want God to withdraw His Hand-- then just harbor begin to harbor bitterness for someone else who’s here!
1. We’re all human, and at times we’ll give each other
reason to be offended…sometimes unintentionally,
sometimes not!
Joke—“son, I’m taking momma to the Dr. for her Colitis”
Son: Who’d momma collide w/ this time?
B. Collisions will happen w/in the Church…we can’t completely
avoid that…but we can control how we respond!
1. “You don’t know what they said/did to me!”
3.I don’t mean to minimize your pain, or sound arrogant, but “you’re not the 1st person to get hurt in church!”
4.Sometimes we just need a good old-fashioned dose of growing up! Grow up, and get over it.
5. Remember that you don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, and even if they don’t deserve yours, it’s still the right thing to do to grant it to them!
6.And I believe there’s bigger things to focus on, and I’m not willing to take my eyes off of the real goal. God’s my defender, and He’ll be yours, if you’ll let go, and let Him! Don’t take it into your own hands, put it in His!
7.God allows us to be hurt sometimes, as a test…will they become bitter, or better?
8.Sometimes he allows valleys to be cut into our soul, but He can use those valleys as a channel thru which he can transmit His grace to others, if you’ll allow the wound to heal, by leaving it in the hands of the Great Physician, and not taking it into your own hands.
I’ve been in churches that are gonna have to have some funerals before they’ll ever go forward for God, because of some members making a conscious decision to harbor bitterness.
Ill.—Kimberly can tell you about a fistfight she’s seen in God’s house!
Bitterness divides the fellowship.
“you don’t know what happened!”
I don’t need to know…
In Christian love,
On the authority of God’s Word…
Get over it!
Prisoner of Bitterness? Let Christ set you free, because:
5. Bitterness will defile your relationships
There’s a spill-over effect w/ bitterness.
You don’t have to be bitter toward your spouse to ruin your marriage. You can be bitter toward your mom or dad, and ruin your marriage!/you can be bitter toward me and ruin your relationship w/ your children! Because of the spill-over effect.
Hebrews 12:15
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Romans 3:13-17
Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: [14] Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: [15] Their feet are swift to shed blood: [16] Destruction and misery are in their ways: [17] And the way of peace have they not known:
Be sure of this: Bitterness toward anyone, living or dead, will destroy your relationship w/ God.
6. Bitterness will deprive you of a blessing
You’ll bring that negative, critical spirit to church w/ you. You won’t come looking for a blessing, you’ll be looking for what’s wrong…and you’re sure to find it!
How to remove bitterness:
v. 15 “root” of bitterness
Only 1 way, yank it by the root, by the grace of God. You cannot do it by yourself.
Ill.—Children of Israel crossed Red Sea, were thirsty, came to Marah (bitter). What did God tell Moses to do to heal the bitter waters? Cut down a tree…and when the tree made contact w/ the waters, they were healed!
The only hope for the bitter waters sloshing around in your soul is for them to come into contact w/ the cross of Calvary!
Ephes. 4:31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
(Bro. Jones’ testimony—whose card are you carrying around?)
In the Bonds of Bitterness? Jail break this a.m. at ll:??
Nothing more bitter than a sinner who needs to be forgiven, can be forgiven, and yet is not forgiven, because they won’t accept it. Forgiveness is offered. Take it!
