Summary: The second in a series of messages about the family. This sermon concentrates on the man's perspective in relationships, family, and healing.

I want to talk to the men.

We often preach to the men...messages of how to better care for and understand the women.

But, seldom, if ever, do we give insight to the man's world to women.

* I want you to notice in the text:

"A Blind Man"

* Never in scripture do you hear of a blind woman

* God is always healing a blind man

* This man wasn't healed instantly...

...he needed a second touch

* This story helps us understand that sometimes healing is a process

* I believe that today we have too many blind men

* Men who have lost their way...lost their vision

* Most men don't have a definite vision for their family

* They are just making a living

* The Devil knows if he can see it...

...he can seize it

* This man reminds me of the church man...

„X He gets better...

* But he is still not well...

o Vision is blurred

* Man represents headship in the family

* And there is nothing worse than...

...the head of the house losing his vision

* The enemy is after the man's vision

EXAMPLE: Samson

* The enemy goes hard after the man

* If he can steal man's vision...

* Then the family is under attack

* I guarantee, half the things we've gone through are a result of Dad

„X My dad lost his vision

„X And his kids lost their way

* If men are going to have their vision restored

* We must consider the eyes (I's)

4 I's TO CONSIDER

1. His Intersections

2. His Intercession

3. His Intimacy

4. His Intensity

1. INTERSECTIONS

ƒ{ Defined: A place where 2 or more roads meet

A place of decision

To leave one path and begin another

ƒ{ Men's lives are filled with intersections

ƒ{ A place of decision is sometimes where we live

ƒ{ Decisions about everything:

„X God

„X Business

„X Home

„X Money

„X Marriage

For Me: Building

Staff

Requests

Finances

Ministry

What to order at the restaurant

Kids -- Goals

Etc.

ƒ{ In order to reach our destination we must make right decisions

ƒ{ Men often find themselves at intersections trying to convince everyone they know

where they are going and they're not lost!

ƒ{ Intersections start early in a boy's life

ƒ{ And, women often don't understand...

ƒ{ The pressure men or boys are under

ƒ{ To make the right turn

ƒ{ When he is about 13, he is at a major intersection

ƒ{ She wants him to stay like he was

ƒ{ Momma's little boy

ƒ{ If she was 22 or older when he was born

ƒ{ She is in a stabilizing moment in her life

ƒ{ While he is in the biggest change so far in his life

ƒ{ And, if the father is not there...physically or emotionally...his life has just become even more complicated

ƒ{ The boy used to draw you pictures

ƒ{ And you would praise him

ƒ{ Put it up on the refrigerator

ƒ{ Now, he's too old for that and he is wondering

ƒ{ Now where he will get praise from

EXAMPLE: Men love praise

Or reaction

ƒ{ If you don't react, I won't do it

ƒ{ So, he is now wondering what will get reaction...

„X Sports

„X Drugs

„X Others now respond and react and praise

ƒ{ His reward system is changing

ƒ{ He is changing...intersection

„X Hormones -- armpit hair -- looking in the mirror

„X Looking at girls different

„X Momma used to be the only girl in his life

„X But now he notices Julie

„X And she's got her own praise language

ƒ{ Sometimes Momma doesn't understand this and tries to keep him a little boy

„X He will eventually despise your backseat driving

ƒ{ He is at an intersection...

„X Putting down Lego's

„X Picking up MP3 players

ƒ{ And finds himself stuck in the middle of being too young to be this and too old to be that

ƒ{ Wants to make decisions...

„X But needs you to drive him there

ƒ{ He will go through another intersection

ƒ{ Just like that one in about 35 years

ƒ{ Too young to be old...too old to be young

ƒ{ Trading in toys...

„X Trading station wagon for sports car

„X In order to have clear vision to navigate through all those intersections

ƒ{ We may need God to touch us again

ƒ{ Because with all these decisions

ƒ{ Sometimes things look blurry!

2. INTERCESSION

ƒ{ For years we have told men to pray...

ƒ{ With and for their families

ƒ{ But before I preach that...

ƒ{ Let me preach this...

„X Women and children

„X You should make it a constant prayer for wisdom, protection for the head of your home

ƒ{ I recognize the father's role in guarding his home in and through prayer

ƒ{ But we seldom discuss protecting the anointing and headship of our home

ƒ{ Kids, when you pray for your dad...

ƒ{ It's easier to obey / honor / submit

ƒ{ Most men:

„X Don't pray the way you do

„X Women are more willing and able to express emotion / softer

„X Just because the man doesn't cry / shout / or wave a banner doesn't mean he's not in touch with God!

ƒ{ The divorce rate has outnumbered the marriage rate

ƒ{ In the church 1 out of 2 divorce

ƒ{ But the divorce rate of those who pray together on a regular basis, according the Gallup Poll, is 1 out of 1,152 marriages

ƒ{ Bible says: 1 can put 1,000 to flight

2 can put 10,000 to flight

ƒ{ Can you imagine 10,000 demons running away from your family because you both pray?

MATTHEW 18:19 (KJV)

Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

ƒ{ Women often say, "well, he won't pray with me".

ƒ{ Here are some reasons that hinder men from praying with their wives:

1. His own lack of personal prayer life

ƒ{ Jeremiah 17:5

This is what the LORD says:

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,

who depends on flesh for his strength

and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

ƒ{ Unless the Lord builds the house we labor in vain

ƒ{ Wise and foolish builder...house on rock

2. Pressure of performance

ƒ{ I am tired, I've worked all day

ƒ{ Suggest starting with...

o A short honest prayer

o Dear God, I am tired and don't feel like praying, but help us. Amen!

ƒ{ The Devil trembles when he sees

ƒ{ The weakest saints drop to their knees

3. He feels that your prayer life is more advanced

ƒ{ Intimidation

ƒ{ Have your more intense prayer in private

ƒ{ But let him lead...take your cues from him

ƒ{ And recognize the blessing of his covering

4. He is afraid it will become a spiritual entanglement

ƒ{ He might not be willing to do more

ƒ{ Than just pray

ƒ{ Not have a sermon preached to him

ƒ{ Not be asked questions, etc.

5. Previous disagreement

ƒ{ Spiritual warfare

6. Ignorance

ƒ{ Not realizing the importance of prayer

ƒ{ Family that prays together / stays together

7. Lack of intimacy

ƒ{ Many marriages don't understand true intimacy

ƒ{ A safe place to share private concerns

ƒ{ Brings me to point 3

3. INTIMACY

Into -- me -- see

ƒ{ God has given us each a role

ƒ{ The man is the head of the house

ƒ{ The woman is the help mate

ƒ{ This may sound old fashion

ƒ{ But it's bible

ƒ{ It's not that she is less than...

ƒ{ It's different roles

ƒ{ And being the head of the house

ƒ{ The one who will give an account to God

ƒ{ Isn't always all that glamorous either!

ƒ{ The man wants a safe place

ƒ{ To take off his cape

ƒ{ And you will still love him after you know his kryptonite

ƒ{ Women say...he won't talk to me

ƒ{ I am saying, he won't talk to you because:

1. He doesn't trust you

2. He doesn't want to task you

3. He can't trace you

ƒ{ When God made woman, he made her in the man

ƒ{ He separated

ƒ{ Now together they become one

ƒ{ But, today we have too much competing

ƒ{ Not enough completing

ƒ{ A helpmeet is to complete

„X So woman, you should be strong in areas he is weak

„X Don't pick on his weakness

„X Complete his weakness

ƒ{ Because what wears a man down...

ƒ{ Is not having anyplace to let down

ƒ{ And when he does

ƒ{ You make him feel condemned

ƒ{ He wants to know that when he lets down

ƒ{ You will still love him

ƒ{ Because when he was a boy and fell off his bike...

ƒ{ Momma was always there

EXAMPLE: Driving a car...pulling out in traffic

She will tell me when it's safe

Because she can see something I can't

ƒ{ That won't work if you are both trying to sit in the driver's seat

„X From her spot, she can see what I can't see

ƒ{ Dis -- ease

„X Bring about disease

4. INTENSITY

„X Intensity: Great Concentration

Great Power

Great Force

1 SAMUEL 30:1-8

Verse 8

"And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all."

„X God put something in men that causes them to fight

„X Adam...conquer subdue the garden

„X David had a fight because he knew what he was after

„X When you lose your vision, you lose your fight

„X You show me a "passive, lost his fight' timid / intimidable kind of man

„X and I will show you a man that has been abused...

...emotionally / physically / sexually

„X I am not talking about personality

...loud / soft

...aggressive / passive

„X But, when a man has clear vision

„X He will pursue and overtake and recover all.

„X Even strong men struggle...

„X David was a warrior but he was also a worshiper.

„X You might mistake David

„X Watching him worship

o Soft

o Poetry

o Harp

„X But, he could kill

o Lions

o Bears

o Giants

„X Rock and rag

„X We need to let little Johnny have some early battles

„X Let him fight through

„X Quit saving him from every conflict

„X Stand in the corner just in case

„X But if he doesn't learn to kill the lion

„X He won't be able to kill the giant later in life!!

„X It's possible to be a male and not be a man

„X Our women need some fighters

„X She'll give up some good looks...for some strength

„X She's tired of 6ft a fire...but has no spine

„X She'll put up with some ugly...to get a man that will pursue!

„X You got women today saying...

...I want a baby but not a man

„X But you need a fighter

„X If you've got a good man, you should take care of him

„X If you have an intense fighting / providing / seeing / seizing man

„X ...you ought to love him!

„X It takes some intensity to get up everyday

„X And fight for the family

„X Fight on the job

„X Fight in the Spirit

„X When he gets home...

„X ...you never know he's been fighting

„X And the truth is...

„X There are some days we would like to come home and fall apart on you

„X Hold me!

„X But usually men just keep on smiling

„X Trying to be everyone's superman!

Women...men are pulled in every direction too

But we don't have talk show

„X I've had young men this week ask me about time management

„X What they were really saying is...

„X I'm being pulled in every direction

„X Everyone wants something

„X And I'm losing control!

„X David was doing so much...

„X ...that when he was going doing one thing

„X ...he lost his family

But it's time to pursue the family again

CONCLUSION

ľ I need another touch, things are blurry

ľ I am better...but not well.