“Despicable Me”
Pt. 2 – Confession
A. Introduction
Last week I read to you a passage of Scripture in which Paul reveals his inward struggle and the inner turmoil that exists in him between good and evil, holiness and sin. It is an intriguing description and one that I believe that most of us understand and relate to. We know what it is like to want to do good, but to instead succumb to the depths of the darkness that resides in us at times. Hear Paul’s struggle again.
Text: Romans 7:15-20
15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Jeremiah’s description of the heart preceded Paul’s expose on our sinful nature, but is no less poignant of a description. Hear it again as well.
Jeremiah 17:9 (The Message)
9"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.
Jeremiah 17:9 (New International Version)
9The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
WE ARE DESPICABLE! There is no denying it! Left to our own devices the depravity that invaded our hearts due to the fall of our first father is unbelievably dark.
This week while channel surfing I came across another example of the darkness of man’s heart. I saw a news reporter interviewing a man. I knew I knew the reporter, but couldn’t place him. Then I realized it was the reporter that has done the shows called “To Catch a Predator”. You know the show. He sets up in a house and internet predators are lured in by a person posing as a teen on the internet and then when they arrive the cameras are rolling and the police are waiting to take them into custody. The reason I didn’t immediately recognize the reporter was this time he was in front a library. As the story unfolded the man he was interviewing had actually visited the house set up the night before. He had walked in completely nude to meet what he thought was a 13 year old boy. Then after making bail he responded to another internet setup the next day and had come to the library to once again meet what he thought was a 13 year old boy. The reporter said, “You told me last night as you stood naked in the house that that was the first time you had ever done anything like that and now you are here today. Why should we believe that when you walk away from here you won’t do this again?” The guy’s response was “I promise you I won’t.”
The struggle is real. It is ongoing. I want to do right, but I don’t. I don’t want to do wrong, but I do.
So I told you that God has given us a two dose or a two shot prescription if you will to deal with our despicable selves. The first dose I dealt with last week is repentance. I told you that we have to come to grips with our need for repentance. We have to realize that repentance isn’t just for sinners. We should repent daily, thoroughly and sincerely because our personal revival and national revival is contingent upon Christians being good repenters.
So, today I want to deal with the second shot. Shots are painful. You would think that the first shot (repentance) would be the most painful of all shots. Seeing that we are standing bare and exposed before the God of the universe who with one blink of an eye could destroy us and snuff us out in light of our despicable nature. That should cause fear, trembling, and absolute utter terror. However, the truth is most of us would prefer to take the first shot and ignore the second shot.
The 2nd dose is confession!
We are intrigued by Paul’s struggle and yet we fail to recognize that he was in fact bravely confessing his faults to other Christians.
James picks up this concept and commands us in James 5:16.
16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV)
16Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. (Message)
B. Problems with Confession
He says make this your common practice and yet this is so uncommon that when we talk about confessing our sins or faults to one another we react as if someone is speaking a foreign language and we can’t understand. The reason we resist this prescription is because of:
1. Our pride.
We are so concerned about keeping up appearances that we would rather risk lack of forgiveness or healing from God than to let someone know we struggle. We ignore and avoid the second shot altogether because we are more afraid of people than we are of God. We have no problem facing God we just don’t want to face one another. And we avoid this part of the remedy to our own demise.
Someone might think less of me! Someone may think I really don’t have it together. Don’t worry folks . . . newsflash people already think you don’t have it together. We have been trained to doubt people anyway so they can’t think any less of you than they do now! That is another issue that I want to deal with in the future! We are actually more likely to think the worst about people rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt.
We cannot let pride keep us sick. Pride comes before a fall. Pride keeps us bound and sick! We are too proud for our own good. Who are we trying to impress? We say we want God’s approval, but we act like man’s approval is paramount to us!
2. Second issue is that we fear being vulnerable!
We have been trained to never let them see me sweat. Fake it till you make it because if you don’t you come off as weak. We are afraid of being vulnerable. We have been taught that if we confess our faults someone will use that against us. Only problem is that the truth is the only thing that can be used against you is the hidden things. Once it is out in the open no one has any leverage or ammunition! Our fear of vulnerability reveals the despicable state that Christians have fallen into so that we can’t be trusted with other’s issues.
There is a song that speaks to what we all want!
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
It is crazy this song which should have been sung about church was the theme song about a bar where under the influence of the environment or the alcohol people are able to lay their soul bare to a stranger serving them drinks. Christians are so afraid of one another that we won’t tell anyone that we had a bad thought, said a bad word, or actually sinned this week. We just show up worship, stare at the back of one another’s heads and refuse to confess our despicable side to one another.
This has to change!
We must quit acting like something we aren’t! Our fear of one another must end! Life together . . . Better has to be more than a slogan for small groups, but a reality in how we learn to live!
So how do we learn to confess? Well first we have to understand why confession is so absolutely important and essential and then secondly we must understand to whom we must confess.
C. Importance of Confession
Confession is an indispensable part of the Christian’s life because it produces 4 very crucial results in our lives.
1. Humility
I just want to go on record by saying that all of us could use a heaping dose of humility. Scripture confronts our pride in Romans 12:3, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment!”
We must learn the art of confession to promote our own humility. Humility is a willingness to be known and estimated according to our real character. “While we are unwilling to confess, we have no humility at all. Nothing is more directly calculated to deepen, perpetuate, and perfect humility, than a full and frequent confession of our faults.”
We want people to think we have always been and continue to be as nice and cleaned up as we are right now. We try to fool them so that in turn we can fool us. Confession brings us to place of humility and in turn makes us “human” again, touchable again, and approachable again!
2. Connectedness
Our lack of confession reveals one of the greatest plagues of our generation . . . shallowness of relationship! I really don’t know you. I can’t get past the wall of the surface. How’s the weather, how’s work, how’s school, how’s the car and who gives a flip! What about the real issues of life? We are not designed or intended to live separated – apart – we are designed to be connected. We are commanded to bear one another’s burdens! How can I do that if you are perfect and I am perfect and all I know about you is that the weather where you live is kind of chilly? Lack of confession breaks that connection. Confession connects us at the strongest level of relationship. We handle each other’s faults and we become connected at the soul! Who here handles your soul? If the answer is no one then you are in danger of faking Christianity!
3. Accountability
Confession promotes our own watchfulness! Confessing our sins to one another has a strong tendency to put us on our guard against repeating them. And on this account confession is of great importance to us. I am not likely to repeat the sin if I know you are going to ask me about it when I see you next time. We become allies in the fight against sin when we learn to confess! You don’t have to fight alone, but to find an ally you must confess!
4. Healing
Our healing is contingent upon confession. Isn’t it interesting the two passages of Scripture (2 Chronicles 7:14 and James 5:16) that we use to emphasize prayer come first with the two doses that we don’t like to take . . . repent and confess?
Proverbs 28:13 addresses this concept even further.
It says,
People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.
Confession is indispensable to forgiveness and healing!
The reason you fear the consequences of confession is because you’ve yet to realize the consequences of concealment. Andy Stanley
What you hide He cannot heal. What you cover He cannot cleanse. And that doesn’t just have to do with confession to Him!
D. Who To Confess To
So the $64 million question is to whom should we confess? I mean we know that loose lips sink ships and if we confess to the wrong person they can destroy us . . . Fortunately Scripture addresses this.
I have taught you about one group of people over and over again.
1. That is we should confess to those we have wronged. If you have hurt someone or sinned against them then I have already dealt with that over and over again. We are commanded to go to them and confess and ask forgiveness.
So who do we just confess general sins and faults to? James clearly tells us.
We confess to those who will pray! That is the stipulation.
Unfortunately, I honestly believe that narrows down the field significantly for us. We must carefully select individuals who will pray for us. James instructs us to be picky in whom we confess to!
We can’t share with gossips. We can’t share with folks who will save up the information and use it to their advantage later. Can’t share with rumor spreading friends! We can’t share with someone who seeks that kind of information to stroke their need of feeling important because they will drop hints and bits of info at times to feel special about themselves! No, we must seek out folks whose lives are marked as people of prayer!
Are YOU confession worthy? This question should cut us to our core!
I think you should test folks. Share a little and see if they can handle it! If they prove to be trustworthy then you should celebrate and throw a party because you have found the greatest gift a man can find . . . someone who cares for his soul!
I want us to pray . . . Some of you may need to confess – find a trustworthy person a person of prayer. It is the second step to deal with our despicable nature. The reason repentance before God is first is because He is the only one that can remove the sin. The confession to a person brings humility, connectedness, accountability and healing.
However, the thing I want to really pray is that we will become a congregation of people that are confession worthy! Known by prayer rather than rumor, accusations, or gossip! May we be the answer to the song!
