“A New Standard”
John 13:31-35; 1 John 3:11-18
If you knew that the evening you were spending with your loved ones would be the last you’d ever spend with them, what would you say? What would you do? What would well up in our heart as the final, lasting memory you want to leave with them?
Perhaps the idea sounds farfetched, since most of us will not know when that final time together has come. But for Jesus it was very real. He knew His death was approaching and that these would be His final hours with his disciples. So His message is important – it obviously was well thought out and was the passion of His heart. And, indeed, Jesus communicated and demonstrated one clear, strong message: “A new commandment I give you: Love one another.” The ‘love one another’ is not surprising, but how is that new? That message had been around for a long time – it’s even imbedded in the Old Testament. Jesus continued: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” It’s new in that the model for our love is Jesus Himself and in that love for one another is the identification mark of Jesus’ followers.
We are to LOVE AS JESUS LOVED. These words of Jesus follow His demonstration of love. The 13th chapter of John begins with Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and telling them that this is what they should do to one another. And we know that at least John caught the message. When John wrote one of his letters, He said (1 Jn. 3:16): “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” Jesus’ love was shown in A LIFE LAID DOWN for others. The word used for love is ‘agape’. Agape love does not arise from emotion or feelings; it is AN ACT OF THE WILL. Jesus does not love us because we are so loveable but because He promised to love us – He wills to love us. Agape love moves out of the realm of attraction and into the realm of decision. It includes loving when there are no feelings of love, no motivations for love. Agape love is a posture, a stance, an attitude, a frame of mind, A LIFE’S DIRECTION TOWARDS OTHERS that is conditioned by our understanding of God’s self-giving love in Jesus. “While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8) I appreciate how Eugene Peterson puts it in The Message translation: “Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.” Jesus willingly laid down His life for us.
And we are to LOVE ONE ANOTHER as Jesus loved us. As I said, John caught it. In his first letter he wrote “And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” But other followers caught it as well. The New Testament is filled with passages that instruct us how to treat ‘one another.’ If you would look up through a Bible search engine the phrase ‘one another’ you would find at least 22 different instructions as to how to treat one another – all of which are forms of love. I offer just a few of them this morning to get just a glimpse of what this love for others looks like.
First, WELCOME ONE ANOTHER. Paul wrote (Rom. 15:7): “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” The word ‘accept’ means to “receive or accept into one’s society, into one’s home of circle of acquaintances.” There are no preconditions to love – it’s not “I’ll love you if…”, “I’ll let you in if…”, “I’ll include you if…” Accept one another.
Shortly after this admonition Paul also wrote (Rom. 16:16) “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Go out of your way to acknowledge the other person’s presence and to make them feel at home with you. To wonder “Who is that?” or “Will they fit in here?” is to ask the wrong questions. The question is, “How can I make them feel at home?” Bill was a young man with wild hair and wore a T-shirt with holes, jeans, and no shoes. That was, after all, his wardrobe for 4 years of college. Bill was brilliant. And He became a Christian while in college. Across street from his college was a church – a church where everyone was well-dressed and very conservative. Bill went there one day. He walked in as he was – with the wild hair, the T-shirt with holes, the jeans, and no shoes. The service had already started so he walked down the aisle looking for a seat. The Church was packed so it was hard to find seat. It was obvious as he walked down the aisle that people were uncomfortable with his presence. He ended up down front without finding a seat, so he sat on the carpeted floor. By now the tension was thick. As Bill sat down the minister spotted a deacon slowly making his way towards Bill. The Deacon was in his 80’s, with silver-gray hair, wore a 3-piece suit, and walked with a cane. He was a godly, elegant, dignified, highly respected gentleman. People were guessing at what he’d do to Bill! The Church was silent as the Deacon slowly walked towards Bill; the only sound was the clicking of his cane. The minister decided to hold his sermon until the Deacon arrived at Bill and did whatever he planned to do. Finally he arrived. He dropped his cane on floor and with great difficulty lowered himself and sat down next to Bill. The people were moved to tears. The minister stood up and said, “What I’m about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen you will never forget.” Love as Jesus loved; welcome one another.
Paul also stated that we are to HONOR ONE ANOTHER. “Honor one another above yourselves.” It’s insightful to see how various translations put these words from Romans 12:10: “Outdo one another in showing honor.” “Take delight in honoring each other.” “Practice playing second fiddle.” In other words, let the only competition between you be to see who can give the other person more honor! Give the other person their due worth. (Phil. 2:3-4): “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Spend time with, listen to, and respect others. Love stops, looks, and listens. Love elevates the importance of the other person. Love as Jesus loved; honor one another.
Another dynamic of loving is to BEAR ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2) The Contemporary English Version translates it “You obey the law of Christ when you offer each other a helping hand.” John, when writing his letter, emphasized this (1John 3:17): “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” If our hearts are not touched by the need of others, we best examine our relationship with Christ. To “have no pity” is a wonderful Greek word, “splangknas.” It means deep inside; our innards. We talk about gut level openness – that’s splangknas. As God felt our sin “splangknas” – deep inside Himself – so we are to feel the pain of others and act to relieve it.
Mrs. Billy Graham (Ruth) recalled a visit to the home of her parents, Nelson and Virginia Bell. Her mother was very ill, even somewhat incapacitated. Ruth recalled how tenderly and faithfully he father cared for her mother. At one point Ruth even saw him on his knees putting her socks on her. He told Ruth, “You know, the greatest privilege of my life is taking care of your mother.” To bear one another’s burdens is to do things for others that they cannot do for themselves. Love as Jesus loved; bear one another’s burdens.
Paul also said we are to ADMONISH ONE ANOTHER. “I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.” (Rom. 15:14) I prefer the King James translation which replaces ‘instruct’ with ‘admonish.’ The word Paul used means “helping through warning and rebuke.” It is, I believe, a level or two deeper than simply to instruct or teach. It points to what we often call ‘tough love.’ We like to say “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it.” And while that is true as a general rule, we can harm others by not being truthful with them. For example, who tells the boss, before his meeting with the CEO, that he has bad breath? Who tells the apprentice that his attitude is rubbing his superiors the wrong way? Who tells the child that she is walking down a path that will lead to trouble? Who tells the fellow believer that he is living in sin and ruining not only his witness but his life? You do. I do. Not with an air of judgment and condemnation, but by speaking the truth in love. The only other alternative is to not speak the truth in love, to remain silent – and watch a fellow believer fall into die situations. We then share his guilt. Did Jesus not show His toughest love when He uttered His admonishment to the religious leaders of His day? There’s a reason that each member of Hope Church, when professing faith in Jesus Christ or joining the church, is asked if he or she is willing “to submit to all Christian admonition.” Love as Jesus loved; admonish one another.
From Hebrews we learn that we are to PROVOKE ONE ANOTHER. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (10:24-25) The key word is ‘spur.’ Think about a cowboy with spurs. The spurs are used to stir up, to stimulate the horse. It’s a good analogy because various translations use not only ‘spur’ but also ‘motivate’, ‘stir up,’ and ‘arouse.’ All those words are part of the meaning of ‘provoke’, which is found in the King James translation. We are told to stimulate and encourage each other to step out and live the life of Jesus, to exercise our gifts, to meet tougher regularly and faithfully for mutual edification. I once designed and taught an “Encouraging Class” in an effort to not only provoke but also to train and equip believers in the ministry and art of encouragement. I was surprised to see how many people wanted to learn about – and perhaps at the same time needed – encouragement. Just think how often Jesus met with His disciples in order to provoke, to encourage, and to spur them on. Love as Jesus loved; provoke one another.
Welcome and honor one another, bear one another’s burdens, admonish and provoke one another – and FORGIVE ONE
ANOTHER. Paul mentions this at least twice. To the Ephesian Church he wrote (Eph. 4:32) “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Then to the Colossians he said (3:13), “Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Remember how we said God forgave us? He didn’t wait until we were worthy – He knew we never would be. He didn’t wait until we could pay the price – He knew we could never afford it. Instead He sent Jesus to die for us even though we didn’t deserve it and were unable to pay the price. In the same way, we are to be compassionate and forgiving. The Message translation captures this wonderfully: “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”
When Shannon Ethridge was just 16 years old, an act of forgiveness and love changed her life forever. While driving to her high school one day, Ethridge ran over Marjorie Jarstfar, a woman who was riding her bicycle along a country road. Marjorie died as a result, and Ethridge, who was found completely at fault by authorities, was consumed by intense guilt. She contemplated suicide several times, but she never took her life because of the healing response of one man: Gary, Jarstfar's husband. Gary forgave the 16-year-old and asked the attorney to drop all charges against her, saving her from a probable guilty verdict. Instead, he simply asked that Ethridge continue on in the godly footsteps that his wife had taken. "You can't let this ruin your life," Gary told her more than 20 years ago. "God wants to strengthen you through this. In fact, I am passing Marjorie's legacy on to you." Gary's act of forgiveness showed Ethridge the amazing love of God. Today, Ethridge is the bestselling author of Every Girl's Battle and Every Woman's Battle, and her recent book, Completely His: Loving Jesus Without Limits, helps women overcome guilt-ridden, wounded lives. Whom do you need to forgive? Love as Jesus loved; forgive one another.
Let’s hear again Jesus’ words: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” OUR LOVE IS TO BE DISCRIMINATORY. John states repeatedly that we are to love our brothers and sisters; we are to love each other. That does not mean we do not love those outside the family of God – but it does mean that the way we love those in the family will determine if those outside the family even care. As an outsider looks at the church, the body of Christ, what does she see? As an outsider looks at Hope Church, what does she see? Is there enough love to convince or convict her of Christ’s love? St. Augustine wrote: “Love alone distinguishes the
children of God from those of the devil. They can all sign themselves with the sign of Christ’s cross; they can all respond Amen and sing Alleluia; they may all be baptized and come to church; and they may build churches; but the children of God are distinguished from the children of the devil only by love. Those who love are born of God, those who don’t are not.” If we are truly filled with the love of God, if we love as Jesus loved, our agenda and temperament is not one of a critical spirit, an ego-centric attitude, a fault-finding eye, nor a ‘my way or the highway’ mentality, nor a “let someone else do it” philosophy; it is one of “What can I do for you? How can I help you? What does love demand I do for you?” Jesus has called and commanded us to be lovers. Let us commit to being lovers, to building a church of love, to giving ourselves totally to one another. Let the world know who and whose we are!
“As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
