From The Problem to the Solution
8 – CONFLICT RESOLUTION
This morning, we’re continuing with our sermon series entitled FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION
I trust that you have been gaining some valuable principles in your life as you have faced, are facing, or will face all of your problems
And by way of reminder, we told you that in order to get FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION…
--1. Acknowledge The Problem
--2. Make a "Word" Decision
--3. Find Your Evidence
--4. Learn to Listen
--5. Patience Works
--6. Giving Thanks in All Things
--7. Tapping Into the Anointing (The Anointing Is the Difference)
Now, this morning, we’re going to be covering a very, very, very important issue as it relates to going FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION
Because in every area of our life, whether it’s…
--marriage
--work
--family
--business
--church
We’ll never really go FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION until we learn how and deal with this thing called conflict resolution
So, this morning, let’s look in the Word of God as we read…
Matthew 18:15-20 (KJV) "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (16) But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. (18) Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (19) Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. (20) For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
INTRODUCTION
When you think about it, really Christmas is all about *****CONFLICT RESOLUTION*****
Because we’re celebrating the fact that Jesus came into this world as a little baby in Bethlehem, and the reason He came, was to bring man in his sinfulness and God in His holiness together
That is the ultimate when it comes to CONFLICT RESOLUTION
And as we’ve been talking about going from the PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION, one thing is absolutely certain – and that is that some problems are caused by THE PEOPLE WE KNOW
And if we’re going to go FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION, then we need to know how to resolve conflict
In fact, if you’ll remember last year, I preached an entire series of messages on the Ten Commandments
And we told you how that the first two dealt vertically with God and the final eight dealt horizontally with others
And the absolute bottom line truth of the 10 Commandments was that you must not only *****GET***** it right with God, you must, if you’re going to serve Him, *****KEEP***** it right with others
And without question, this issue of conflict resolution has done more damage and been more successful at stopping…
--revival
--the move of God
--churches from growing
--evangelism
Than any other thing the devil has used
In fact, the devil would rather we fight among ourselves, that fight himself
And I have discovered that the greatest hindrance to an old-fashioned revival is not…
--pornography
--gays and lesbians
--abortions
It’s been this issue of CONFLICT RESOLUTION
And not only in the church, but in…
--marriages
--families
--countries
And if we’re going to go FROM THE PROBLEM TO THE SOLUTION, we must deal head on with this issue of conflict resolution
Now, concerning conflict resolution, I want us to look at the passage we have before us this morning, and there are three things that I want you to understand…
1. THE POTENTIAL FOR CONFLICT IS CERTAIN
Notice what Jesus said…
Matthew 18:15 (KJV) "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee…"
In other words He was saying – LOOK, THERE’S GOING TO BE PROBLEMS
And lest we think it’s somebody who offends us, Jesus said in another place…
Matthew 5:23-24 (KJV) "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; (24) Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."
In other words, there are coming times when either people will hurt you or you will hurt people, IT’S A FACT
And over and over in the Word of God, you’ll read…
•Romans 12:18 (KJV) "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."
•Ephesians 4:26 (KJV) "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"
•Luke 17:1 (KJV) "Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come…"
•1 Corinthians 11:18 (KJV) "…I hear that there be divisions among you…"
In fact, I don’t have time, but there are over 100 REFERENCES in the Bible that deal with conflict resolution
And without a doubt, it is GOING to happen, and we might as well deal with it and the truth is that if we don’t we’re missing a major part of our Christian lives
Remember that time when James and John asked to sit on the right and left hand of Jesus in Mathew 20:21-23
And you know what the Bible says…
Matthew 20:24 (KJV) "And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren."
That word "indignation" in the Greek meant they were flaming mad!
Conflict happens
I think about what Paul told two women in Philippians…
Philippians 4:2 (KJV) "I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord."
In other words, these two woman were having conflict and it was obviously disrupting the church
And then there was conflict that we read about in Acts 15:37-39 where Paul and Barnabs where getting ready to strike out on a missionary journey and Barnabas wanted to take John Mark and Paul didn’t think they should, and the Bible said of these Holy Ghost filled men…
Acts 15:39 (KJV) "…the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;"
If these men, who were…
--eyewitnesses of miracles
--walked with the Lord visibly
--were filled with the Holy Spirit
If they had conflicts, we know that in the church of God today, CONFLICT HAPPENS
And so the real issue becomes NOT IF conflict will happen, but WHAT WILL WE DO about it
The POTENTIAL FOR CONFLICT IS CERTAIN
And not only that, but let’s consider…
2. THE PATH TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS A CHOICE
Listen again to…
Matthew 18:15-17 (KJV) "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, GO and tell him his fault between thee and him alone…"
In other words, when PROBLEMS HAPPEN you have to GO
You have to make a…
--decision
--choice
--effort
To resole the conflict
In other words it will NEVER JUST HAPPEN!!
Somebody has to make a CHOICE
And there’s a RIGHT WAY and a WRONG WAY to resolve conflict
I heard about a man that went to see his doctor because he was feeling absolutely terrible. The doctor gave him a careful examination, left the room to look at some tests, came back in with a very somber expression on his face and said: "Sir I don’t know how to break this news to you, but you have rabies and you’re going to die very soon." The man very calmly got out a piece of paper and began furiously writing. The doctor said: "What are you doing, making out your last will?" He said, "No, I’m making out a list of people that I am going to bite."
Now, the wrong way to resolve conflict and what happens 90% of the time is that we call a truce, but the issue is never resolved
We will…
--ignore the person or issue
--give the silent treatment (just not say anything about it at least that person individually, but we’ll talk about it to others)
--divorce
--sit on one side of the church
--leave the church
I thought about the story
A born again Christian is rescued after many years on a desert island. As he stands on the deck of the rescuing vessel, the captain says to him, "I thought you were stranded alone. How come I can see three huts on the beach?" "Well," replies the castaway, "that one there is my house and that one there is where I go to church." "And the third one?" asks the skipper. "Oh, that’s my old church."
But no my friend, when it comes to conflict, we cannot…
--walk away from it
--whine over it
--wade around it
--white flag it
--whack at it
No, we must WORK AT IT
And how do we resolve conflict?
A. Walk in Humility
Because I think the first thing we need to understand about conflict resolution is to consider the notion that WE MAY have done something wrong
There are some people who will…
--never see any side but there side
--never admit that they are wrong
--never think that they possibly could have hurt someone
And the truth of the matter is that we are all human and when there is conflict, it may not be all their fault, it may be completely your fault
And so the first step is the humbly look inside your own life and ask God a thousands times what have I done to contribute to the problem
Matthew 7:3-5 (TLB) "And why worry about a speck in the eye of a brother when you have a board in your own? (4) Should you say, ’Friend, let me help you get that speck out of your eye,’ when you can’t even see because of the board in your own? (5) Hypocrite! First get rid of the board. Then you can see to help your brother."
Jesus said…
Matthew 5:23-24 (KJV) "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; (24) Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."
And that’s they way we should be – on our knees and at the altar before God, He will show us things that we might never would have been a problem
Because sometimes the issue is not WHO IS RIGHT, but WHO WILL MAKE IT RIGHT!!
Not only should you walk in humility, but the next thing is you should…
B. Begin the process quickly
Matthew 5:25 (KJV) "Agree with thine adversary quickly…"
Don’t let things fester, go ahead and make things right as soon as you sense something is wrong
C. Go to the Person Privately
Go to them privately and PERSONALLY!
Don’t…
--ignore them
--send a letter
--send an email
Go face to face, eye to eye, and heart to heart
And then, if that doesn’t resolve it, then and only then…
C. Share it corporately
Take along two or three others to be a mediator
If that doesn’t work, then take it to the entirety of the church and then treat them as a sinner – try to win them back
But absolutely and positively, when it comes to conflict resolution, it doesn’t just happen, somebody has to be willing to make a choice
Not only is…
--THE POTENTIAL FOR CONFLICT IS CERTAIN
--THE PATH TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS A CHOICE
But finally…
3. THE POWER OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS CLEAR
Because after there’s been conflict and after there’s been a resolution, look what happens
Matthew 18:18-20 (KJV) "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (19) Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. (20) For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
This tells me three things will happen!
There will be…
A. Heavenly authenticity (we will be able to bind)
We will have power from on high
We will have the blessing and favor of God
We will have a voice from heaven saying, this is my beloved church in whom I’m well pleased
Not only that, but we will have…
B. Earthly authority (we can agree on earth and it shall be done)
We will have power from heaven to do on earth what needs to be done to…
--advance the kingdom
--tear down strongholds
--win the lost more effectively
And that’s why the devil doesn’t want us to get together
One will chase a thousand
Two will chase ten thousand
Three will chase 100,000
Four will chase one Million
Five will chase 10 million
Six will chase 100 million
7 will chase 1 billion
There are 6 billion people on the face of the earth and according to those statistics, if we just had 42 people, we could move our world!
There is…
--heavenly authenticity
--earthly authority
And then, there is…
C. Spiritual vitality
He will be in the midst!
John 13:35 (KJV) "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
I’m here to tell you that what holds our churches back from…
--power
--the anointing
--revival
--a move of God
It’s not…
--drug addicts
--alcoholics
--pornographers
--MTV
It’s CONFLICT RESOLUTION
But when we get together…
Nothing can stop this mighty moving force
With a shout a praise a two-edged sword
Every strong hold of bondage must fall beneath our feet
Every prison held captive must be freed
Our deliverance is come through the power of God’s Son
We’re the BLOOD BOUGHT CHURCH THE REDEEMED!!!
(Song by Nancy Harmon, "Blood Bought Church")
That’s the power of CONFLICT RESOLUTION
IN CLOSING
The…
--potential for conflict is certain
--path for conflict resolution is a choice
--power of conflict resolution is clear
Will you ask the Holy Spirit if there’s someone you need to see after this message…
--spouse
--brother or sister
--child
--church member
--former pastor
You can’t STAY right with God unless you KEEP right with others!
The greatest conflict in the world is not between you and someone else
It’s between you and GOD
Jesus came to resolve that conflict
Mediator between God and man
Let’s rejoice this Christmas season that we can be at peace with God through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
