Ambushed by Unfaithfulness
Scripture Text: 2nd Samuel 11:1-4
Introduction:
Do these words sound familiar? “Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live?” Sure it does. Most of us have made a commitment similar to this in our wedding vows.
So, why talk about this in a month when we are focusing on love? Because in spite of this commitment those who counsel struggling married couples will tell you that unfaithfulness creeps into marriages with surprising regularity leaving broken hearts and shattered relationships in its wake, and they would also say that this happens just as frequently whether the couple has a relationship with Jesus Christ or not.
This morning we will learn from David’s failure at faithfulness. The Bible records it this way. 2nd Samuel 11:1-4.
David was an experienced military leader. He knew that he had to keep his guard up on the
battle field, but was ambushed at home in his palace because he didn’t realize an enemy of a
different kind was lying in wait for him. He never saw it coming, but we can learn from his
mistake and build up our defenses in order to ensure our faithfulness.
I. Hidden Danger
We, too, must always be on the lookout for minefields and booby traps. There are mindsets and circumstances that can set us up for a fall if we are not watching out for them. Soldiers are trained to detect these so that lives are not lost.
At annual training with the National Guard last year I was able to see some of this kind of training first had. I began the training period driving for our Battalion Commander. One of the first things we did was to drive out to a clearing so that he could observe and evaluate one of our units as they occupied their Area of Operation. He was not pleased with their mine sweeping operation so taught them a lesson.
As they were setting up camp we prepared a sand table for him to use to point out their mistakes, and right in front of it he buried a pine cone which represented a mine. As the soldiers gathered around for the lesson their First Sergeant spotted the pine cone and kicked it out of the way. “Boom! You’re dead.” The first Sergeant learned an important and embarrassing lesson that day, and we were all reminded of the need to look out for hidden danger.
David failed to spot the danger that was hidden just beneath his feet and it cost him dearly.
A. Wrong place, wrong time – V. 1
David’s trouble began because he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. The army was out at battle and the king, the one who was supposed to be leading them, decided to stay home. For some reason David decided to send Joab out with the men instead of going out with them himself.
His sleeplessness that night (V 2) could have been from guilt or boredom. It could have been that he felt guilty sleeping in his warm bed knowing that the men were sleeping in the field and that while they were risking their lives he was safely in the palace. Or, it could have simply been that after days of the palace’s routine he was bored and longed for the excitement of the fight. The Bible doesn’t tell us that, but it does tell us that he wasn’t where he was supposed to be.
We can find ourselves in the same trap. Whether it’s being alone on the internet late at night, or being alone with someone of the opposite sex putting yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time can lead to a slippery slope that ends in breaking your commitment. That is exactly what happened to Mary.
She and John had a great marriage, but as they both got wrapped up in their own lives and careers they grew distant. During a low point in their marriage Seth was transferred into Mary’s dept at work. They quickly became friends and shared about the disappointments they each had with their spouses. Mary never dreamed she would cross the line, but then one day several friends from work were supposed to meet for dinner after work to celebrate the completion of a big project. They worked late into the evening because of their deadline and the others backed out without Mary and Seth knowing it. That night they shared a meal and later a bed. Mary let her guard down and like David it cost her a great deal.
1st Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Don’t fall for his trap. Be mindful of where you are and who you’re with. The cost is too great for us to be careless about our surroundings.
B. You can look, but don’t touch – V. 2
David’s trouble continued because he was careless with his eyes. As he walked on the roof top of the palace his eyes fell on a beautiful woman taking a bath. Like David, many of us have lowered our guard when it comes to the things we look at. In our media driven world we see thousands of images each day. Some honor God, but many do not and can lure us into a trap if we fall for a common lie.
You see that’s how our enemy works. John 8:44 says that the devil is the father of lies. He’s been at it for a very long time. In the garden he deceived Eve by subtly challenging God’s Word. He did it with a question, “Did God really say…” then he planted a thought, “You will be like God…”
Now fast forward to our time and he is selling a new lie that is just as subtle and just as destructive to marriages. Those who buy into it erode foundation and security of their relationship.
You ready for it? “You can look as long as you don’t touch.” Now wait a minute you might say. What’s the big deal? Isn’t that a little prudish? Well, I have a question for you; didn’t you make a commitment to forsake all others? Doesn’t that include the swimsuit model, the guy at work, Julia Roberts, and even Justin Bieber? Even more importantly, what does God’s Word say about it?
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Sin is always progressive. A glance can turn into look which if unchecked can lead to lust and then to action. With God, though, we don’t have to cross the last line for it to be sin. If you’ve thought it, you’ve done it. Why?
God is not out to keep us from having fun, in fact just the opposite is true. Like a good parent He wants what’s best for us. His standards are designed to help us live lives that honor Him and are free from the weight that comes with be shackled to sin. Here’s an example for you.
It didn’t seem to be a big deal. Shawn just liked to look at attractive women. All guys do, right? He rationalized it as he was just appreciating God’s creation. His habit continued after he got married and even after he was called to pastor at small church out west.
Shawn liked to surf the web to relax before bed late at night. One night when his guard was down he wandered onto the wrong page by mistake. After only a few minutes he shut it down, but something about it seemed to get ahold of him. Night after night he went back and eventually found himself on there in his study when he was supposed to be getting his sermons ready. It gripped him so tightly that the loss of his job and family couldn’t help him to break free. In the end he was willing to say goodbye to his wife and kids instead of his habit. Yes, it’s a big deal.
So, with that being said let’s look at the consequences of stepping into one of these traps.
II. Consequences
In David’s case his failure led to physical death. In an attempt to cover up his sin David had Bathsheba’s husband Uriah killed (11:14-17) and then David and Bathsheba’s baby died (12:18). In most cases the result isn’t physical death, but our failure in the area of faithfulness will always result in the death of trust and relationships.
A. Death of trust
Trust is always a casualty when we break our commitment to forsake others. You see, marriages are built on trust. Our spouses are counting on us to be one with them and no one else. They need to know that whether we are together or apart that they can count on us to be true to them, that is real love.
In addition it doesn’t matter if you or I are unfaithful with our eyes, hearts, minds, or body the damage will be the same. When and if it comes out trust will be broken, and once that happens it is very difficult to earn it back.
What’s more that trust extends beyond our spouses. Our children are looking to us to create stability and to set the standard of what a marriage should be like through our unswerving faithfulness to each other.
So, put yourself in their shoes for a minute. Imagine what they would feel if you were unfaithful.
Betrayed Hurt Insecure Confused
This broken trust will then lead to the next consequence.
B. Broken relationships
David’s unfaithfulness had lasting effects on his family. The affair with Bathsheba along with his multiple marriages created a family environment that bred bitterness, distrust, brokenness and conflict.
Within his own family there was rape and murder, and his son Absalom staged a rebellion to overthrow the thrown. It’s a story that may make a good soap opera, but is a terrible example of what a family should be.
If you or I break our commitment our spouses and children will never look at us the same again. Their perception of the person we are will forever be changed. For our spouses it will impact the level of intimacy they will be able to offer us and for our kids it could leave them with trust issues for the rest of their lives and set for them an example of failure that they carry into their future relationships.
The impact is not just confined to our relationships on the earth, though. Our relationship with God will also be impacted. The security of our salvation is not threatened by our sin, but our ability to fellowship with God is hindered. His holiness will not allow Him ignore the sin of His children.
Listen to this from God’s word:
Leviticus 11:44
I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.
Psalm 24: 3-4
Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart…
Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.
Clearly God expects His children to live lives that honor Him. When we fail there will be consequences, but there is also forgiveness when we turn back.
Though David blew it big, he also repented big. After Nathan confronted David with his sin he wrote these words:
Psalm 51:1-4
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
David recognized that ultimately his sin was against God and he was able to admit that and seek forgiveness. God’s word is very clear that when do as David did God will always forgive.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
What a great promise. We can be made clean and whole again through His shed blood which also gives us the power to overcome temptation.
III. Conclusion
The Bible says that we are in a spiritual battle. We often focus only on the physical, but there is so much more that is going on around us than can be seen with our eyes. Therefore, in addition to taking practical steps to avoid the snare of unfaithfulness we fight our enemy in the spirit. As we close here are some things that you and I can do to make sure that we don't follow in David's foot steps.
A. Decide ahead of time that you will not give in. Daniel 1:8
B. Run from situations that that could lead to failure. Genesis 39:6-10.
C. Use God’s word to confront temptation. Luke 4:1-13.
D. Pray for deliverance from and strength during temptation. Matthew 6:13, 26:41.
