Summary: How do you learn to tame anger? How should you relate to angry people? The one-word answer is “Wisdom.”

Applying Wisdom to Anger

(Proverbs 19:8, 10-13, 16,19,20)

1. I knew a guy in high school who was a friend of a friend.

2. He was a big guy, and he seemed nice enough, but he had an anger problem.

3. After we graduated, he got a part time job at McDonald’s. One day, he got so angry at his boss that he lifted him and sat him down on a hot grill.

4. Needless to say, he was Mc fired.

5. He should have worked at the competitor, for he wanted it his way.

6. We all know how ugly anger can be. Most of us have episodes in which we lost our temper and said or did things we later regretted. Some of us learn while others, it seems, move from one episode to another.

Main Idea: How do you learn to tame anger? How should you relate to angry people? The one-word answer is “Wisdom.”

I. CRAVING Wisdom Is the Foundation For Better Life in General

A. If you care about YOURSELF get wisdom (8)

• Sense, wisdom, understanding are synonyms

B. If you want to live LONGER, choose wisdom (16)

• Do wise people tend to live longer?

• They are reasonably cautious, plan ahead, take care of themselves

C. If you want wisdom, learn to LISTEN to the right people (20)

1. The influence others have upon you is overwhelming

2. Remember this: Often times a decent lost person with sense is a better influence that a flaky Christian

3. Also remember, you can’t listen if you won’t stop talking

4. The greatest wisdom booster: absorption with & obedience to God’s Word

Psalm 119:99-100 reads, “I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts.”

D. We need to re-evaluate what we consider COOL

James 1:19-20, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

How do you learn to tame anger? How should you relate to angry people? The one-word answer is “Wisdom.”

II. Wisdom Teaches Us About Relating to ANGRY People and Managing Our Own Anger

A. Easily angered people have a wisdom DEFICIT

1. One easily provoked to anger does not just have a weakness, but also has a sense problem. There is something innately foolish about being a hot head.

2. Anger is often an attempt at control: wisdom and anger are exclusive

3. Ability to forgive is a big factor in happiness

4. We are happiest when we love; anger and bitterness stand in the way

B. There are SOME PEOPLE you don’t want to get angry

1. You need to be careful who you anger

2. Even if you are in the right, don’t get angry at that police officer

3. I was watching Worst Cooks in America… a smart aleck…

C. Malcontent whining is perennial LOW LEVEL anger

1. From Solomon’s perspective, a quarreling wife got under his skin

2. And why not? He had 700 wives and 300 concubines…

3. The foolish son seems to be a whiner, too

4. How do you cope with complaining, nagging, whine-baby people?

Internet discussion board posted this:

Why do people complain so much?

I know it’s a natural thing but it has to be unhealthy. At my job people never stop complaining. Every day it’s either too hot or too cold. Then, they start complaining about their schedule which really makes me angry. It’s always the ones that get every weekend off that want to complain. I’m not perfect. I know I complain sometimes but not this much. I hate going to work now because I have to listen to people whine and moan all day.

One fellow wisely responded:

Best thing I ever did was quit the rat race. Just ignore them and let them wallow in their self inflicted misery. Be glad that you are not like them and keep a smile on your face. They are the ones with the problem.

At another site, I found this interesting attempt to cope with the whiners. I have never tried it, but it sounds intriguing:

This tip may seem a little outrageous but if you’re able to do it, it really does change your internal reaction (without the other person suspecting a thing!). Using your imagination at the time the other person is complaining or nagging, in your mind, change their voice so that it sounds like Mickey Mouse and/or put circus music in the background... Now a word of caution - be respectful - this is ONLY happening in YOUR mind for YOUR benefit.

Nasty, negative, whining people have no idea how they get on everyone’s nerves

D. Anger is an ADDICTION: do not enable nor learn

1. People with temper issues can learn new skills

2. Do not forget that anger is often an attempt at control

3. They can learn to confront problems early before anger wells up

4. Some wife beaters are wimpy and gentle-appearing, but then…

5. You are in danger if you make good friends with an angry person.

Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”

E. Remember, even a wise person can MESS UP

• Moses at the rock

F. Find Biblical ALTERNATIVES to uncontrolled anger

1. Confront problems

2. If you are a control freak, face it; anger is often about control

3. Assert and express yourself in a controlled fashion

4. Do not pretend all is well when it is not, but be a good loser

5. Seek advice or a listening ear

6. Pray, read the Word, haggle with God

7. Process the things that make you angry, but break it up (so not worked up)

How do you learn to tame anger? How should you relate to angry people? The one-word answer is “Wisdom.”


1. We all want to control life; we cannot, we can only influence

2. We can influence is good ways, like via wisdom, or sinful ways, like using anger to bludgeon others into conformity… the choice is ours