Extreme Home Makeover: Kids Edition
Please Note: This message was written and delivered in my absence by one of our elders,
Jeff Smith
Introduction:
As we continue our Extreme Makeover Home Edition sermon series, we are going to examine the topic of obedient children. Now, some of you may be wondering how this sermon will apply to you. Maybe your children are grown or maybe you don’t have children. Maybe you have teenagers and you are wondering what the father of a 4 year old and a 2 year old is going to be able to teach you about parenting. For those of you that your children are grown or you don’t have children, the lessons that we are talking about today are based on our relationship with our heavenly Father, God. So we all can learn today regardless of age or what stage of life we are in. As for my own parenting experience, I will not be speaking to you today based on my wisdom which is limited in this area but based on God’s wisdom that is shared with us through the Bible.
Anchor Verse: Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord Builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.
Any household that contains children knows that obedient children make life wonderful and disobedient children make life….well let’s say adventurous. Just think about God’s experience with his first children, Adam and Eve.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God had to deal with His disobedient children: Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was:
"Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve . . . we got Forbidden Fruit!"
"No way!"
"Yes WAY!"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno," Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did Not!"
"DID so!"
"DID NOT!!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
As we look at the topic of obedient offspring, we are going to start by examining parent’s role.
• THE REPRESENTATIVES:
Obedient children recognize that parents are God’s representatives. God is to the adult what parents are to the child – lawgiver, lover, provider, and controller.
When discussing obedience, you might think that the emphasis would be on the lawgiver and controller part of that description, but why is it that God gives us laws to follow that control how we are to live our lives? The reason is that He loves us and wants to provide for us eternally. Doesn’t that hold true in our relationships with our children? And children, doesn’t that hold true in your relationship with your parents? If your answer to that is no, because one or both of your parents didn’t live up to their end of the bargain, then know that you have a heavenly Father that will always live up to His end of the bargain. I have been fortunate to have two loving parents that have always been there for me, but I have seen the other side of the parenting spectrum.
My grandfather on my mom’s side abandoned his family when my mom was 11 and being a school teacher for twelve years, I have seen countless examples of hurting children because their parents didn’t follow God’s instructions for how to love and provide for their children. So again, if your earthly relationships have fallen short of the standard set by God, then take comfort in knowing that God loves you and wants to provide for you and yes, He has rules for you to follow that will make your life better.
Parents, we have an important role in helping our children understand that we are God’s representatives. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your foreheads as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. It is our responsibility to teach our children how to obey. Anyone who has raised children knows that it is rare for a child to be born wanting to obey all the time. Children are selfish and must be trained to be selfless. We should be constantly talking to our children about God and God’s rules for our lives. Children will only understand that parents are God’s representatives if parents tell them and when God’s rules are enforced, we should tell our children that these are God’s rules. Take time to explain to your children why God’s rules are beneficial. Children need to know that God’s rules aren’t there to keep us from having fun, but that following God’s rules actually makes life better.
But let me be clear, an explanation of God’s rules is not enough. Behavior is altered by consequences. If your child has a problem with lying, it is not good enough to stress the importance of telling the truth. There must be consequences for breaking the rules. John Rosemond is the author of the bestselling book, “Parenting by the Book”. In an essay he wrote based on Deuteronomy 6:6-9 he stresses the 3 C’s of Discipline: communication, consequences, and consistency. But don’t worry kids, he says that the most important of the three is communication, not consequences. Parents, we must learn how to communicate to our kids about behavior by examining the bible. God always communicates in no uncertain terms. The Ten Commandments are just that – Commandments. They are not the Ten Requests or the Ten Wishes of God. How effective would they be if the first commandment read “Oh, I really wish you wouldn’t have any other Gods. It would really make me happy if you could try that next time.” God doesn’t talk to his children that way and we shouldn’t either. Exodus 20:1 Do not worship any other God besides me. That’s it. No wiggle room. It is clear, concise, and concrete.
If we follow God’s example in communicating to our children, we can expect better results. Notice I said better results, not perfect results. The bible is full of examples of God being the perfect parent and His children being less than perfect. The other thing that following God’s example in communicating to our children does for us as parent is it puts us in a position that demands action. If we command our children such as “I want these toys picked up. I am going to be back in three minutes to make sure that they are picked up.” And we come back in three minutes to find that the toys are not picked up, then there is no question that the child has disobeyed and we must follow up as a parent by administering a consequence. On the other hand, if we say something like “Picking up the toys would really be a nice thing for you to do.” then, we haven’t really commanded the child and they haven’t really disobeyed if they don’t do it. Who do you think will end up picking up the toys in this example? Well, if your children are anything like mine, I can almost promise you that the parent will be picking up the toys after the kid goes to bed.
Children, let me talk to you for a minute. Your parents, just like the Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi in The Blues Brothers are on a mission from God. Their mission is train you so that you are a good Christian. That training involves making rules and your mission is to follow them. God has commanded you to love and respect your parents. As a matter of fact, God put it in the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. This command is so important that God put it before “You must not murder”! Just like God knows what is best for His children, parents know what is best for their children.
They have wisdom that comes with age, experience, and a life spent learning about God. Sometimes this is difficult for children to understand, especially for the teenager. For some reason, when a person starts driving a car, they think they know more than their parents. Even though their parents have been driving for longer than the child has been alive, the teenager suddenly believes they are a self-sufficient adult. Of course, they still want someone to do their laundry, feed them, put gas in their car, and provide them with a steady flow of money and electronics. Teenagers, despite your advanced knowledge in the area of computers and smart-phones, your parents really do have more wisdom than you and should still listen to them.
So again, children, your parents are the representatives of God and just like you are to respect and love God, you are to respect and love your parents. Parents, you are representing God in your relationship with your children.
If you want to know how to do this effectively, I highly recommend John Rosemond’s “Parenting by The Book”.
• THE RELATIONSHIPS:
Obedient children are careful to maintain good family relationships. Those of you who are adults in the room, isn’t it incredible to think back on your life and know that after everything you did, your parents still love you. You’ve lied to them, said bad things about them or to them, forgotten about them on birthdays, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, etc. You made them worry when you didn’t come home on time. Love given to children by parents is mysterious and probably the most perfect analogy of the love of God. Parents: our role is to train and discipline our children in a loving manner. Proverbs 22:6 “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” God makes it clear for us. We must train our children, they are not born with the knowledge of how to be good and do the right things. Anyone who has had a two-year old is well aware of this. They don’t call them the wonderful and loving twos. Oh, no, it can most definitely be the terrible twos. Ephesians 6:4 “And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” reminds us that we must train our children in a loving manner so that they respect and love us because someday we may need them to take care of us. After all, 1 Timothy 5:4 says “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn to practice their religion toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God”. That’s right, children are commanded to repay their debt to their parents. Just like we all owe a debt to God for saving us through His Son, Jesus; kids owe a debt to their parents for all of the sacrifices they make to raise children.
My mom sacrificed her career for years while she raised me and my two brothers and parents everywhere sacrifice the freedoms of adulthood so they can raise children. So parents, build relationships with your children by spending time with them and raising them in a Godly manner. Children, you are to build relationships with your parents by being obedient and loving them throughout your life.
• THE REQUIREMENTS:
Children must obey their parents in adolescence and give them honor during adulthood. Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents, because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” Jesus set the example when He was subject to His parents Luke 2:51. “Then He returned to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.” That’s right, Jesus, the Son of God was obedient to His earthly parents and you too should be obedient to your parents. Proverbs 1:8 “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching.” Colossions 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing in the Lord.”
Children, the bible is clear on this issue. We are to obey, respect, and love our parents. They are God’s representatives and if we don’t live up to this requirement then we don’t really love God.
So, what does all of this mean for us? Well, if we obey our parents, then there is a reward.
• THE REWARD:
Honoring and obeying one’s parents help the child learn self control, obedience to law, submission to authority, and respect for rules of health. These are all qualities of mature Christians. Parents, isn’t that what we are trying to do. To raise children that above all else will love and obey God. Don’t we all want our children to one day hear Jesus say, “Well done my good and faithful servant…Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.” Matthew 25:23 & 34
My children are still quite young, but when Sarah and I make decisions about things we always try to keep in mind that goal. If an activity is going to interfere with church then we generally say no to the activity because we don’t want our kids to grow up thinking that you only go to church when you can’t find anything better to do. Also, we try to limit our time away from family because you can’t be God’s representative to your children if you are never home. This means saying “No” to activities that you might really want to do. Sometimes it even means saying no to church activities because you are just too busy and need time with you children. But, in the end if we are successful in raising children who love God and have given their lives to God, isn’t it worth it?
Conclusion:
Jonathan Edwards, the Christian preacher and theologian from the 1700’s, not former presidential candidate and senator from North Carolina, was correct when he stated, “ I now plainly perceive what great obligations I am under to love and honor my parents. I have reason to believe that their counsel and education have been my making: notwithstanding in the time of it, it seemed to do so little good.” As children, rules set by parents can seem unfair and over-bearing, but with age comes wisdom and we understand why the rules were necessary and the motivation behind the rules. The motive for rules, just like with God, is always love.
Invitation:
As the worship team comes forward, If you are ready to learn more about being an obedient offspring. If you are longing for the perfect Father in your life, then come forward today or see me after church and I would be happy to pray with you and discuss what it means to give your life to Christ.
