Not long ago there was a golfer who was having a really bad day. He was having such a hard time that when his ball went into the water on the 13th hole he picked up his bag – spun it like a discus – and threw it in the lake and stormed off the course. The rest of the golfers chuckled to themselves when just a few minutes later he was wading back into the water after his clubs. They saw that he was coming to his senses. So when he finally found his bag, he fished through the side pocket found the car keys, picked up the bag and threw it even farther into the lake before going home.
We all get angry – that is normal (especially if you’ve ever golfed). But what do you do with anger when it arises? As we turn to scripture, we see that how we deal with anger when it boils over is crucial because it can do great damage. What does this verse tell us about our anger? To deal with it or else we give an “opportunity” to the devil.
Actually, in many of our translations the word is “foothold” which is much more accurate. It comes from the word meaning “place” as in building, room, location – a space in which people live and inhabit. In other words, when you don’t properly deal with anger when it crops up, you give the devil a place on which to make camp. Where is that place? Your heart!
Picture your life like a fortified medieval city. That city is ruled by God’s Holy Spirit and therefore it is very strong with gates and walls. You are safe! But something happens to endanger that security. Someone does something cruel to you – you are treated unfairly. Or you see injustice done. You are angry. What happens if that anger is not dealt with properly? It’s the same as if you open the gate of your life, of your heart, to allow the enemy, Satan, to come inside your life and take up a place in your heart. You are allowing him to get inside.
Now, understand that this is not talking about possession. But simply the influence and power of the enemy in your life. There are many different ways we can open the door of the enemy into our lives: through activity in the occult, through open sin, through sexual immorality, through rebellion. But this morning we are looking only at one of those dangers – that of anger.
Don’t open the gate!
Yes, there ARE moments when we ought to be angry. Jesus was angry in Mark 3:5 “and after looking around at them with anger, …” In fact, our text commands us: “BE ANGRY.” When? When the enemy destroys God’s work, when people are deceived, when injustice is done, when people are abused. The list can go on and on. Then when is anger an open door for the devil?
The answer to that question is found in how we react to anger. There are two ways we react to anger that leads to an opportunity for the devil.
1. Clamming up
The first reaction is simply clamming up. Our text warns us: “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Why? Because stewing and holding it in gives the devil and opportunity.
You’re in dangerous territory to say “I must never get angry. I’m always peaceful and kind and smiling and nice.” As Christians we can easily give in to this thinking that we should be always happy. But then when we’re hurt, we just cover it up with smiles, words, and silence. Burying hurts doesn’t heal them but just makes them stew and get worse and sooner or later there will be bad fruit coming from that. Time does not heal!
What are the resulting sins?
Bitterness. Hebrews 12:13-14 “root of bitterness.” A small weed is easy to pull up. But the longer you wait, the more difficult. Later you will need to dig with a trowel. Later you will need a hoe. Then a shovel. Then finally you have a tree that will take a chain and tractor. The same goes with anger – if you hold it in, it will not make it go away but it merely removes the outward evidence on the surface and allows the roots to grow deeper.
The other resulting sin when we hold in our anger is worry. How is justice to be done? When will right be established? How long will this go on without resolution? What should I do to resolve it? All you have to do today is watch the news and two things will happen – anger and then worry. Worry is simply the fear that God is not in control.
No – we must not hold anger inside as if it isn’t there!
2. The second way we open the gate of our life to the devil through anger is by letting anger run its course – we blow up.
Imagine how bees feel – they fly thousands of miles to gather enough nectar to make a pound of honey. Then someone comes along and steals it from them. No wonder they sting us! Instead of holding anger in, we sting those who hurt us – we take vengeance – we get back at them!
The opposite of holding anger inside and not expressing it is letting it all pour out. It reminds me of the nuclear disaster in Chernobyl – all that pressure built up in the power station and then it finally exploded and released destructive nuclear waste all over eastern Europe. People were sickened and killed for decades as a result.
One lady once told her pastor that she doesn’t see anything wrong with losing her temper. “I blow up and then it’s all over.” Her pastor responded – “So does a shotgun and look at all the damage it leaves behind!”
We are reminded of the words of James: James 3:5-6 “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” Obviously actions of brutality and violence are anger that is let loose. But so also are words that are spoken. They can do even more damage to someone’s soul.
Just letting your anger run its course through violence of actions or words is just going to cause more problems – more anger – more destruction.
Dealing with anger
So we are to be angry. Don’t do any pretending that the offense didn’t happen or isn’t there. But at the same time – don’t sin. In other words neither bottle up your anger nor let it loose. Then what should we do with anger when it arises?
1. Pour out your anger to God
When anger boils over, we release the pressure by communicating with God. He can handle it!
King David does this very thing in many of the Psalms. We don’t like to read them because they’re not very pretty but they’re real – David downloading his anger: Psalm 139:19-22 “Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain! Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.” Pour out your anger and resentment and unload with God. Tell Him how you feel. We need an outlet for our pent up emotions.
2. Ask God to reveal the truth
Also, ask Him to show you any misbeliefs or misunderstandings you might have and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you into the truth. John 16:13 “He will guide you into all the truth.” Very often you won’t even have to talk to the other person because you will have taken care of it by talking to the Lord. God should help you to forgive and pray for your offender.
Many cases of anger and offense are simply misunderstandings. We assume the other person has evil intentions instead of the opposite. And once emotions are calmed down, and the simple facts or situation is before you, it becomes a simple issue of misunderstanding. Always live by the rule that we assume the person who has angered us did not intend to do evil.
3. Forgive your offender
But when you pour out your anger to the Lord, you do something else very crucial – you forgive your offender. You lay it before the Lord. Forgive and release that person.
No you don’t say, “Forget it, it’s not important.” (burying it) You also don’t mention the offense to the person when you forgive. True forgiveness lets go and forgives without hearing an apology and without any contact with that person. Instead you release the offense to God. YOU go before God like a judge and tell God what this person did and hand the offense over to him and God releases you. It’s not your responsibility to bear that resentment and anger any more. It’s in HIS hands and HE WILL DEAL WITH IT. Can God handle that? Is he big enough to handle it? You better believe it! People sin against us every day and that creates anger. But your responsibility is to forgive and give it over to the Lord. God will judge.
4. Pray for our offender
Finally, as we’re meeting with the Lord, we pray for that person or people that have caused us anger. We pray for their welfare – for their blessing. We pray for their personal relationship to God. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Mt. 5:44) Don’t let the sun go down without praying for your offender. And as you do so, God will soften your heart.
This is very hard for three reasons: First, it’s totally against the flesh (you want to strike back). Second, nobody will know you are doing it (you want to tell – make them pay). Third, your heart could break when God answers that prayer and really blesses that person as if they’ve never sinned. But that’s the love and mercy that Christ has for us in that he died when we were his enemies!
EXCEPT in cases of abuse - these must be handled differently - you MUST seek help. You MUST find someone to help you. God sends help in the form of people we love! Don't ever believe the lie that it's your cross to bear - or that you're simply getting what you deserve. The silence MUST be broken but this is a much larger topic than we can deal with today.
5. Communicate with the offender
Sometimes, in dealing with anger it’s necessary to communicate with the person who has made you angry. When? In the situation when you’re not the only one angry but you’ve caused someone else distress. If you’ve been in a fight with someone, a friend, your spouse, a co-worker – you must try to settle that offense before the end of the day. Don’t go to bed angry! You won’t sleep well anyways.
Matthew 5:22-24 “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
Notice what Jesus tells us to do: Go to the other person. When? When you know that someone is hurting because of what YOU have done or said – whether you did something wrong or not - whether you failed or not. Make things right between you! If you are aware of that, you are obliged first of all to find your neighbor and reconcile. Speak honestly and openly without accusing or manipulating.
Friends, the Lord teaches us to be angry, but not sin. Instead if we turn to the Lord with our anger and sit under his guidance and leading, then what happens? He changes our hearts. He touches us to be understanding, to be patient, to intercede, and to seek to reconcile broken relationships. If we handle anger right – if we deal with it as the Lord teaches us – many blessings can result! Answer anger by turning it to the Lord! Instead of giving the devil a foothold, you give the Lord a greater place in your life!
