OPEN: For the next 4 weeks, we’re going to be looking at what the Bible says about kissing (pause).
You know, the Bible is just FULL of kissing. There are stories where sons kiss their fathers. Friends kissing friends/ brothers kissing brothers. People kissing false idols. Kissing between a woman and her fiancé. Men kissing men, women kissing women.
There’s just a whole lot of kissing going on in that Bible.
Some kisses were affectionate.
Some were romantic.
Some were just ways of showing acceptance.
But, in our society, kissing someone that’s not your momma or your wife could get you trouble. In fact, there are some places that even THAT is illegal.
For example in Idaho, there’s a city called Bench, Idaho, where you CAN kiss your intended… but if you do it on Sunday you are required to "Pause for breath" between each kiss. Seriously, it’s on the books.
In Logan County, Colorado, it’s illegal to kiss a sleeping woman (no matter who she is).
And I’ve read that - I personally - need to be careful if I go to Indianapolis because it’s apparently against the law there to kiss someone if you have a mustache.
So, kissing people today could get you in trouble.
But back in the days of Scripture nobody took offense if you kissed them. In fact – kissing was a way to show them you liked people. Kissing was a way of showing acceptance and affection even between friends. Kind of like shaking hands or hugging each other would be in our culture.
Now frankly, affection is what the early New Testament church was all about. Notice what Paul did when ending this letter to the Romans:
“Greet Priscilla and Aquila....”
Greet also the church that meets at their house.
Greet my dear friend Epenetus...
Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you.
Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. ...
Greet Ampliatus, whom I love in the Lord.
Greet Urbanus, our fellow-worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys.
Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ.
Greet those who belong to the household of Aristobulus.
Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord.
Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord.
Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord.
Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.
Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them.
Greet, greet, greet, greet, greet...
These are people who matter to him and Paul is devoting a fair portion of his letter naming them and asking that they be told he wanted them to know he remembered them.
Greet them for me.
Then he ends with: “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
In fact, Paul ends several of his letters this way
In I Thessalonians 5:26 “Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.”
I Corinthians 16:20 “All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
2 Corinthians 13:12 “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
Even Peter writes:
“Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.” I Peter 5:14
(Pause and grin for a few moments at the audience)
So, what do you think?
Should we start kissing one another?
(Wait for the inevitable “No” to be said)
No... I don’t think so either.
Back then, that was the way they showed affection for other Christians back then. Nowadays... it would just get people all upset. But my point is this: the early church spent a lot of time being affectionate to each other. Because that was what Jesus said the church should be known for. Jesus said: “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” John 13:35
And this theme is repeated several times throughout the New Testament:
Jesus said: "This I command you, that you love one another." John 15:17
Paul wrote: “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8
And again: “... through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13
And again: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32
I could go on and on and on with Scripture that tells us to love each other. And in the days of the New Testament, the Holy Kiss was one way of expressing that love. Someone once said “Kissing is a means of getting 2 people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.”
That was one of the goals of the New Testament Church – to get people so close together emotionally that they would get to the point where they didn’t see each others’ faults.
But of course, if we went to kissing each other now (as they did back then) people wouldn’t be “feeling the love.” What they’d be feeling is a whole lot of embarrassment and discomfort. So today a holy kiss won’t get the job done. Today Paul might say “Greet one another with a holy hug/ or a holy handshake.”
ILLUS: Now, of course, not everybody likes to be hugged. I remember hugging a young lady at church one day - same way I’d hug anybody else … and I felt her stiffen up. I realized I’d offended her and I apologized, and I never hugged her again.
WHY? Because a holy hug didn’t speak to her of acceptance. It made her uncomfortable. The holy hug wasn’t doing what it was intended to accomplish. So, I just had to find a different way to let her know she was important in the church.
So, a Holy Kiss (or, in our case – a holy hug or a holy handshake) was designed to show and build love within the congregation. Thus, you’d think that a New Testament church that did this “Holy Kiss” thing would just be filled with love. I mean, with everybody kissing on another, that must have made for a really loving atmosphere, right?
Well... that’s not the way it turned out.
For example, the Church at Corinth did that Holy Kiss. Paul wrote them two letters, telling them to do just that in both of the letters. But they weren’t the most friendly church. They were always arguing, always fighting. Why they couldn’t even sit down to eat together and be civil to one another.
ILLUS: If they’d been around today, they’d have been like one church I heard of where half the church sat on this side of the sanctuary, and the other half would have been sitting on this side. AND nobody on either side would have talked to folks on the other.
So if the Holy Kiss/Hug/Handshake didn’t work for Corinth... what use was it?
Well, it was just a tool.
And tools are designed to fix things.
If I use the tool in the right way... I can fix what is broken.
But if I use it in the wrong way... I end up breaking things.
The purpose of this tool was to create friendliness in a church.
ILLUS: Years before I came to preach here, Jim (one of our Elders) made it his ministry to meet people at the door before worship. He wasn’t just putting in time back there. This was a real ministry for him. And I’m told that it made a difference. He’d hug people and shake their hands and make sure they knew HE was glad to see them. And his enthusiasm was infectious. Not only did people feel welcome... they made others feel welcome. And that’s one of the values of our greeting time... it’s a chance to show affection.
ILLUS: About 10 years ago, we were visited by 6 men who were new to our city. They were black men who’d been hired off the street in Chicago and bused down here to work in factory where the wages were low and the work was hard.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re pretty much a white bread church, and as they came in and sat down I wondered to myself... how is this going to work out? But when greeting time came, everybody seemed to swoop in on these visitors, shaking their hands, asking their names, telling them how glad they were these men were here. As I recall, we eventually ended up baptizing each and every one of them into Christ. And they felt so welcome here that they asked if they could honor us with a barbeque ribs meal (we bought the ribs, they spent all Sunday afternoon cooking them).
Why did these men do that for us? Because they knew we honestly wanted them here and they knew this was "their" church now. And it all started with a holy hug and handshake.
ILLUS: Years ago, I used this same tool in a different way. I was preaching in a congregation where a previous minister was a problem. He’d retired there, and the church had made him an Elder. They shouldn’t have. This man had a terrible anger problem and several times at Board meetings – if he couldn’t get his way, he’d throw a fit in and angrily leave the room.
Now... at one point he got so mad at me, he blew at me in church. The next Monday was the church board meeting and his Eldership was up for renewal and he didn’t get renewed. He he blamed me for it.
For the next 6 months or so he refused to come back to church. Then – one day - I got word that he intended to come to church the following Sunday. But he wasn’t coming back to be part of worship. He was coming back to find a way to embarrass me, and he (and some of his friends) intended to make sure everyone knew it.
Now, frankly I liked the guy. I didn’t want to hurt him. He’d been a preacher for a number of years at that congregation and I felt bad that he was behaving as he was. But I couldn’t let him get away with what he wanted to do.
So, I prayed to God, and I asked Him what I should do. And into my mind came a Scripture: “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” Luke 6:31
I thought to myself – what do I want this man to do for me? Well, I wanted him to shake my hand. So, that Sunday, this man and his little entourage made their way to sit down about 2/3s of the way back on my left, and I made my way towards them.
They saw me coming and – as one body – they got up and moved over to the other side of the sanctuary. What was I to do? Well, I followed them. I swear I’d have followed them all the way out to the parking lot, because I was going to shake this man’s hand.
But they didn’t move from their new spot. I extended my hand, said the man’s name and said “I’m so glad you’re here in church this morning.”
I knew he wasn’t happy, but he reached up and took my hand and shook it. And that put a stop that to a situation that could have hurt the church. He still didn’t like me, but it’s hard to hate someone who’s… gone out of their way to shake your hand and try to make you feel welcome.
Now, something else caught my attention here in this text:
Paul said they were to “greet each other with a HOLY Kiss”
Holiness is a powerful thing. But it’s also a very simple concept. Holiness (and the related Greek words from which we get “Saint” and “sanctify”) simply means: “Set Apart”.
For example, the people in the sound booth are “set apart” from the rest of us. You could say they are “holy” compared to us. The Bible tells me I should work at being holy. I should “set myself apart” from this world and live a pure life.
In the same way, the Bible says that God makes us holy. He “sets us apart” from the world to belong to Him.
Now, this is a holy kiss. It’s something that is done by a holy people. The early church did holy kisses because even that greeting was “set apart” for God.
The church is not a SOCIAL organization. It’s not a place to go to like the Elks or Rotary. It’s a HOLY gathering where you do HOLY things.
ILLUS: When I first entered the ministry, I was invited to join the Odd Fellows. It was a nice bunch of guys that met upstairs in one of the old buildings in town. The meeting began in a sanctum with beautiful dark wood. There was a Bible on display, and a very elaborate religious ceremony they went through. It seems I remember they even had a secret password and knock.
The 1st part of the night was spent going through a ceremony that actually centered on Bible. Then they went into the next room and spent the rest of the night playing Euchre… and eating cookies.
They were a nice group of guys. BUT despite the Bible session (which was mostly ritual) their main reason to get together was to play cards and hang out together. Now there wasn’t anything immoral or questionable going on... I enjoyed them. But they weren’t really there for God (set apart for God). God was more of an excuse for getting together. There were no teachings from the Bible and no serious prayers. They weren’t there to be set apart for God. They were setting apart time to enjoy each other.
Now – there are churches that end up like that. They get together for the ritual. They light candles and invoke prayers and speak solemnly of God. But they’re all style, there’s no substance. God’s mostly a decoration and they don’t believe the Bible is that important. God isn’t really there for them - He’s someone “out there” somewhere. They are set apart for their ritual... but not for God.
This congregation isn’t like that. I’ve been here long enough to know we’re here because we love God and want to be with Him.
But even in a church like this there are bound to be people who forget WHY we’re here. They like what we do: The singing, praying, communion, preaching... and so on. But they don’t like certain people. People they not only wouldn’t give a holy kiss to... they wouldn’t even want to give them a holy handshake/ holy hug.
They don’t realize that they can’t love God if they don’t love others. That’s what God says in I John 4:7-8
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
We don’t have to give Holy Kisses to each other but we do have to give a Holy love... and we can express that any way we need.
CLOSE: A Holy love is what God is looking for. And it’s the kind of love illustrated in this story.
It was several years at the Seattle Special Olympics. There were 9 contestants in the 100 yard dash - all physically or mentally disabled. They assembled at the starting line and then the gun went off. They all started out, but it wasn’t exactly in a dash. They were running the best they could and they were enjoying themselves.
About half way through the race one boy stumbled on the asphalt. He tumbled over a couple of times and just sat down and began to cry.
The other eight runners heard the boy cry.
They slowed down and looked back.
Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them. One girl with Down’s syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.
That is what a holy kiss/handshake/hug is all about. It’s about linking arms with a Brother or Sister in Christ and then walking together toward Christ. Because the only way we win, and make it to the finish of line the way we should... is to do it together.
But you can’t make it to the finish line if you don’t belong to Jesus. That’s why we offer an invitation at the end of every service (INVITATION)
