I once knew a guy by the name of Robert. He had been looking for the girl of his dreams for several years without success. One day he told me what he was looking for in a girl. He pulled out of his pocket something that looked like a small child’s Christmas list. It was a list of qualifications that he was looking for in a wife. Must play the piano, make her own clothes, cook, not more than 115lbs., confident, and meek and quiet.
I looked at Robert and then back at the list. “Robert, I said, “You left an important item off this list.” “ You forgot to put down here that your dream girl better not have a dream list of her own, if she does, you’re in trouble.
Too often, dating couples are guilty of one of two extremes in selecting a mate.
- Either they have established no standards for a mate, which may lead into someone that has very little or no morals or spiritual value.
Or
- They have an enormous list of ridiculous requirements such as Robert’s that would have disqualified Adam from marrying Eve, Abraham from courting Sarah, or Joseph from taking Mary to be his wife.
How do we find that special person? We first need to ask ourselves….
I. What signs to watch out for?
A. The Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
(2 Corinthians 6:14) 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
1. The word “yoke” means to be bound together in commitment to one another.
2. When 2 animals are yoked together, when one turns left, the other must turn left also.
3. It is critical that you walk with people who are going in the right direction.
B. Some flashing signs that you may be hanging out with the wrong person.
- Your conversation always turns from spiritual things. Those who are really living with Jesus will not be ashamed to talk about it.
- The person is not clear on his or her standards and convictions. If you are with someone who never seems to have an opinion on what is right or what is wrong= DANGER.
- All the person’s other friends seem to be people who compromise and are not really serving God. This is a dead giveaway that the person is heading down a different road than you want to be on.
- The person’s claim to “believe in God” rarely produces any actions to back it up. The Bible says even the devil believes in God.
(James 2:19) You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
It is important to notice the “danger signs” they can help us out.
But you may be asking yourself, “What are the positives that the Love of my Life should have? What are some musts that he or she should posses?”
What are the most important ingredients for a lasting, loving relationship?
According to the experts there are
II. Three Things Every Girl Wants is a Guy.
1. A Spirit of Desire. Proverbs 21:25 says that the desire of a lazy man kills him.
- Women are looking for men who have vision, drive and desire for life and are willing to work to reach their goals.
- Contrary to popular belief, girls do not dig guys that live off their parents and have no desire to move forward in life. We need to strive for excellence, have a plan, and look into the future.
- Most of us have seen the movie, Napoleon Dynamite. His brother is a perfect example of a man with no desire to move forward in life.
- *Play Clip*
- Don’t mis-understand me. Be happy with all you do but you should want top reach your fullest potential.
2. A Spirit of Kindness. Proverbs 19:22 tells us that kindness is what is desired in a good man.
- Learn proper etiquette and manners in the way you should treat people.
- A beautiful woman married an extraordinarily ugly man. When a family friend asked how such a beautiful woman could have married such an ugly man, she replied, “He has never once hurt my feelings.”
3. A Spirit of Justice. A Just person is someone who has learned to distinguish right from wrong and is not afraid to stand up for truth.
- Okay guys think about it for a minute. Batman, Spiderman, and Superman. What did they all have in common? That’s right, they all got chicks. Be honest ladies, there is just something special about guys that have a spirit of justice.
- Don’t back down to the pressure of friends to do wrong or compromise. Have some backbone and do what is right. You can be a super hero in the eyes of a woman if you apply the right fundamentals.
Okay ladies, Guys have certain things they look for also…
III. Three things Every Guy wants in a Girl.
1. Devotion. A real man will chase a girl who chases after God and is unwilling to compromise to the world.
- Be devoted to Jesus and devoted to His plans for your life. Guys will follow!!
- No matter what you hear on television, no matter what the world tells you, if you place God first in your life and do not waiver, you will attract a Godly man.
2. Wisdom. Knowledge is the acquiring of facts and information. Wisdom knows what direction to go with those facts and information.
- Guys search for a woman who has the ability to make good decisions.
- We don’t like to make all the decisions all the time. Trust me as a father of five, it’s a blessing to have a wife that can make some God honoring decisions when I am not around.
3. Encouragement. Throughout the Bible, we are instructed to encourage one another, inspiring others with our words and good works.
- The great Will Rogers once said, “We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”
Are you the right woman or man for the job? Are you a woman that will not compromise her faith? We all want the right car, house, job future, or whatever. For those things to come our way, each of us must first be the right person.
IV. Key Characteristics of the Right Person.
A. Integrity. This is one of the most important characteristics that anyone could have.
1. The right person is the same no matter whom one is with, what one is doing, or where one is.
- Are you the same all the time or do you act different depending on who you are around?
- Image is not everything; Integrity is. In the end, your life is about being, not appearing.
B. The second key characteristics of the right person is humility.
- D.L. Moody one of histories finest preachers of all time, once said, “Be humble or you’ll stumble.”
- You can’t live a life of destruction and expect to be or find the right person. Humble yourself under God’s Word by honoring and obeying His direction.
C. Everyone should have an ongoing desire to grow, no matter if it’s to get good grades, or find that one and only mate. A desire to grow will help you get there.
- Keep in mind that the proof of a desire to grow is the pursuit of that desire.
D. Self Control is another great key characteristic of the right person.
- The right person has an understanding that they can’t do everything they feel like doing. If it were up to most of us, we wouldn’t even get out of bed half the time.
- As you are on that road to becoming the right person, you must gain control of what you do.
E. Have you ever thought about how powerful Friendliness is? It almost sounds too easy but the truth is, this characteristic will take us a long way in life.
- Do you want to be around unfriendly people? Of course not!! No one likes to be around rude sour people, they tend to drain the life out of you.
- If you went to a restaurant and the food was great but the waiter was a rude punk, you would probably think twice about returning for another meal. This may not be the “right” restaurant for you.
- You see if you want to find the love of your life, you have to look at yourself first of all and realize what is truly important.
