“When Dad Speaks”
Central Zion Baptist Church
Fathers Day - June, 2012.
Mark 1:11-12; Matt. 3:16-17; Luke 3:21-22
Salutation – Salute the fathers… commend them for the work they do.
General comments…..
Speak about the positive aspects of fatherhood.
Say: one of the greatest problems facing the average family today is the absent or uninvolved father. Explain absence.
There are so many young men and women walking around still looking for affirmation from the man who is supposed to be their father.
and when a child does not have the involvement of a father in his or her life, it leaves a void that can only be filled by the Holy Spirit himself.
Fathers, I believe that many of us in here today, especially the men, have experienced the very same thing I am talking about right now. Because we did not have a responsible man we could call daddy, we struggled through life trying to figure out what it means to be a man or wondering whether we had what it takes to be one.
I want to personally congratulate and applaud the many hard-working single mothers… good job… But while a woman can teach a boy a lot of things, there is one thing she cannot teach him – a woman simply cannot teach a boy how to be a man – only a man can do that. No woman can model for a young girl what a husband is like or should be – it takes a man to do it.
If fathers are going to make a difference in the lives of their children, they must make their presence felt and they must be heard. Children must know the voice of their fathers. The dads must stay involved.
But in order for a dad to be involved and stay involved in the life of his children, he must be a dad that speaks.
You see, God spoke and the world came into existence. Jesus is referred to as the Word who became flesh and lived among us. But what is so significant about a dad speaking…
A couple of things…
Life and death are in the power of the tongue and every time a dad speaks, he either speaks life or he speaks death. We must not miss that.
But today I wish to draw some examples from the perfect father as he related to His son during the Baptism and there are some things we can learn from this brief exchange.
Read: Mark 1:11; Matt. 3:16-17; Luke 3:21-22
When a Dad is involved, the children know he is present because he speaks to them and when he speaks, he must speak words that….
I. Communicate a sense of belonging – a sense of close relationship – words that send a clear message of approval. In our text, God makes it plain and clear who Jesus was. “My beloved son.”
These are words that move the heart of a child – put a smile on their face - be it a boy or a girl because to hear words like these gives children a sense of belonging. A sense of attachment - When we communicate words of approval and belonging to our children – that young boy no longer has to look to a gang leader to tell him who he is or that he is important -
When your daughter knows that she belongs to her father and is an integral part of the family, she does not have to seek out the approval of another man who may exploit her, use and abuse her, take advantage of her and when he doesn’t get his way, sexually abuses her, maybe beats her up and then dumps her and looks for the next one in the same shoe. Fathers it is our responsibility to let our children know that they belong to us.
If God the father took the time out to speak words of approval and belonging to His divine Son, what about us? Read text…
Ill. My experience….. not a good one as my own father was not involved in my life…
Maybe you are here and are seeking healing from a father who ignored you or never recognized you as his beloved--- I want to tell you, there is healing in the name of Jesus-
You may need to forgive that father who never spoke words of approval and belonging to you and there is a deep seated hurt, anger and un-forgiveness that has taken deep roots in your heart –
You are bitter - I have come to tell you that there is forgiveness in the name of Jesus. We may never have heard those words from our earthly fathers, but when we live right and walk by the spirit and not by the flesh, God who has promised to be a father to the fatherless is saying to you and me right now- You are my beloved son – daughter … we have his approval.
I know that sometimes, when we did not get love and approval from earthly fathers - it is hard to imagine that we can receive it from our heavenly father… but receive it today in the name of Jesus Christ.
So when a dad speaks, he needs to communicate words that convey a sense of belonging to his children.
Secondly,
When a Dad is involved, the words he Speaks will… Matt. 3:16-17; 3:21-22
II. Convey to his children that they have value and worth – they are special - V-1:11b.
If children are going to know that they are important and have worth – those words must come from the father. Listen here, it does not matter whether the father lives in or out of the house, he must still affirm his children.
Do you realize that a large percentage of the children today do not live in the same home as their fathers, but that should not prevent them from interacting with their children and telling them that they are loved by them.
Lets think of it in this way, God and Jesus were not living in the same house when God spoke these words of blessings upon Him. Jesus was living in another country - God was in heaven and Jesus was on earth – that’s life fathers, sometimes it is just not possible to be in the same house as your children but that should never be an excuse for us to withhold words that convey to them that they have value and worth.
As a loving and concerned Father, God knew that Jesus was living in a rough world and so he took time out to affirm his love for Him.
Fathers, we know what kind of world our children are living in and if we do not take time out to affirm them with our love, the temptations and challenges will be too great for them to handle. Fathers we must do it.
It was just after God affirmed Him as His beloved son that Satan tempted Him.
Ill. Matt. 3:16-17: 4:1ff. Say – all 3 gospels said tempt. But it happened after God spoke these words.
Emphasize Satan – “if you are the Son of God”
Many voices will compete for our children’s attention – but if they have heard the voice of a loving father before - no other competing voices can throw them of course. Each time Jesus heard the other voice – he was able to refer to His relationship with his father – when fathers have a close and affirming relationship with their children, their children will feel secure even when they find themselves “in the desert with wild animals”, the affirming words spoken by a loving father will keep them out of trouble.
Speak words that convey to them that they have value and worth. Let them know that they are special.
Thirdly, when a dad is involved, the words he speaks will - Matt. 3:17c.
III. Create in them a deep sense of confidence – a display of confidence
Its like saying, I recognize how you are living your life and you are well on the way to fulfilling your purpose and I am well pleased with what I see. I love it. You make me proud. God is saying to Jesus as His son, Jesus you are making me proud.
If God had to say it, what about us? When children know that we have confidence in their ability, they will try even harder to make us proud but the opposite is true also…when there is no confidence – then there is no motivation to try harder.
When we say good job – well done – I’m proud of you, what we are doing in essence is showing and appreciating their god-given gifts and abilities – we are letting them know that we believe in them and we are giving them the confidence to believe in themselves.
Kind and affirming words are great tools in the hands of a dad and when we are careless and not thoughtful in our choice of words, we anger and discourage our children and if we are not careful, they can and will begin to look for love in all the wrong places.
I want to add this, let us be careful how we compare our children to others – God did not compare Jesus to Moses – Abraham- Elijah – Job. He celebrated him for who he was.
A child comes home with all “A”s and one “B”, what we do, we applaud them for the A’s and criticize them for the “B”, we do that and that’s wrong.
Yes we must push them and encourage them to work up to their full potential but use words wisely and be reasonable. With words we either bless or curse.
So fathers let us get in the habit of blessing our children.
We can use words to affirm them for something they may have done well – school – church – but we can offer a blessing unconditionally – for no particular reason other than that we see our children as gifts from God and its our duty to bless them. And one of the ways we bless them is by speaking words into their lives.
e.g. Abraham bless Isaacs – words – Isaacs – Jacob – words – Jacob – 12 sons – with words – Isaacs. Gen 27:28.. Esau – 27:38.
Fathers once we speak words over them, we can’t take them back – whether good or bad – let’s get in the habit of speaking good words. And even when we must discipline them, Balance it out with words that build them up.
Create in them a sense of confidence.
Fourthly, when an involved father speaks, he
IV. Challenges his children to do what is godly and right – we are the ones who must pass on a spiritual foundation to them.
Parents, we must challenge our children to walk in the straight and narrow way.
Challenge them to accept our faith - beliefs and values.
Challenge them by modeling godly behavior before them.
Challenge them to move to another level in their praise and worship of God
Challenge them to live worthy of the calling in which we have been called
Challenge them to become involved in the church and in the things that matter to God
Challenge them to cultivate a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ by loving the Lord thy God with all their heart…. Neighbor
Challenge them to read their bibles – pray – church…
Challenge them to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and savior of their lives…
Fathers, future fathers – men - Listen to this, when a father is saved and involved, 92 % or 9 out of 10 times, the children will follow in their foot steps.
Fathers we must take the lead in challenging our children into making a commitment to Jesus Christ.
Appeal – gospel
Pray for fathers
