“The Good Father”
June 16, 2013
Luke 15:11-32
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
Well, it’s ‘Father’s Day’. It’s an opportunity to show our love, our gratitude and appreciation for our Dads. Hope you are all doing that this morning. As I thought about Father’s Day I felt kind of imperfect and inadequate as a Dad. Kinda wish I would have done better – unfortunately you can only do the best you can – and I did. And I got two wonderful kids out of the deal – AND five grandkids. Can’t beat that! I couldn’t love my kids any more than I do and I feel loved and respected by them as well. Thanks kids!
As I thought about this message this morning will the mixed feelings of Father’s Day I was led to a wonderful example of fatherhood. Usually we label this section of Scripture, “The prodigal Son” or “The Lost Son” but I want to shift our focus off of the son this morning and onto the dad. Let’s see what we can learn.
First of all, we learn this is a very loving dad. Listen to the Scripture again.
“There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.” Verses 11-12
So here is the situation. Typically, a son would receive his inheritance at the time of his father's death. The fact that the younger brother instigated the early division of the family estate shows he was a little rebellious. He disregarded his father's authority, not to mention it shows he had a selfish and immature attitude. He saw a chance to ‘party’ right now – and forget about the future. He was pretty immature and shallow.
Apparently the father didn’t hesitate. He did as his son wished even though it may have caused a hardship on himself. To me the father’s actions show he was a very loving dad. He chose to trust in his son. He chose to believe in his son. He took a chance with his son. I’m sure all the advice was not to do it. “Don’t give that wild kid some money!”
But he did. He took a chance. Notice, there were no strings attached. He did not micro manage. He was not a controlling father like some of us would have been. This wise, loving father cut the apron strings and set his son free to succeed or fail.
That’s pretty hard for a father to do especially in this day and age. And then the Son loses everything. He expects to face his fathers and brother’s rejection and anger. Furthermore, he would expect the community to reject and banish him—as was the custom. Any Jew who lost his money among foreigners would face the Kezazah (literally “the cutting off.”) The Kezazah would be performed by breaking a clay pot at the feet of the prodigal as visual symbol that the community rejected him forever. But that is not what the father did, tho he ever right to. He responded with love – not judgment.
Secondly, this unknown, unnamed father had a good reputation. Look at verse 17. It says,
“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father...”
The son knew his father treated the servants generously and fairly. They had food to spare. He must have thought that his dad was kind and forgiving – otherwise he never would have considered going back home. That must have been humiliating to him. He must have been desperate to consider such a thing. How many dads would have rubbed his failure in? How many would have said, “Told you so!” I wonder how many runaways never consider coming home because of the dirt they would have to eat. So many would never live their failure down.
A good father is kind and generous and forgiving. A good father is well thought of, not only by the community, but by his children as well. What do your kids say about you? Would they say you are generous? Would they feel comfortable in humbling themselves to you because they know you wouldn’t rub salt into their wounds. Ever see anyone poke a sore spot or a wound and inflict more pain? I have. It’s not funny. That word; that look; that tone – can do tremendous damage to a hurting individual.
I want to be the kind of dad that, no matter the child or grandchild’s failure- no matter how they may disappoint me with their choices – I would have enough love to comfort and encourage rather than rub it in or say ‘I told you so.’ I want Dad for grandpa’s arms to be a safe place. Speaking of that -
The Third thing I see in this nameless dad is that he was compassionate and not afraid to show his love. Listen.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Verse 20
Can you picture this scene? The father is out working in the yard or the field and he sees a figure a long way off. There is something familiar about that ragged individual, so stooped with failure and shame. Then he recognizes his son. He drops his hoe and takes off running, laughing and crying. When he gets to him he throws his arms around him and kisses him.
Now you need to understand that in the Middle East, it was considered humiliating for men over age forty to run. As the father ran, he would have had to lift his robe—another humiliation. This dad was not so prideful or so interested in how he appears to others to hinder his affection. He was completely open and honest in his feelings. He let his son know how he felt.
How do you think you would feel if your dad did that? Do you think you would have any doubt of his love? How do you think your child would feel if you ran to meet him and threw your arms around him and showered him with kisses?
My mom did that to me one time. After I graduated from high school I left home for the first time and got a job working on reconstructing minuteman missile silos. I was away from home for the first time for six long months. When we got laid off just before Christmas, I packed everything into my 56 Chevy and drove home. As I pulled up to the house early that morning, the screen door slams open and out comes my little, five foot, red headed mom, running across a foot of snow in her bathrobe. She tackles me crying and laughing at the same time; hugging and kissing me - all the while I am trying to look cool. But that impacted my life forever.
We need more of that. We need to not be afraid to show affection to our kids. We need to tell them we love them often. It will change their lives. I think those prodigals need less preaching and more loving. I think every dad, no matter how old or young he is has a duty – I said a DUTY – to tell his kids he loves them. He needs to show his love. Dads have a responsibility to love their kids as long as they live. They have a responsibility to verbalize it and express it. Shame on you if your kids don’t hear you express your love often.
The fourth thing this dad did was to make his son feel important.
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”
Verses 22-24
I don’t where mom is in this picture – I imagine she is watching and being supportive – but this parable seems to infer that it is the dad’s responsibility to lead in reuniting with the son. Look what he did! He told the servants to bring the BEST robe and put it on his dirty, pig smelling son. Nothing was more offensive to a Jew than pig stench – yet love overshadowed prejudice and ritual.
The servant was told to put the family ring, the sign of authority and belonging, on the son’s finger. With the ring the son could transact family business. He was back in authority. Another sign was the shoes. Slaves were bare-footed. Sons wore shoes. But the real clincher was the fatted calf.
Most families who could afford to raise livestock would focus specific attention on a particular animal, fattening it up in anticipation of a special occasion. The slaughter of this animal would be reserved for an especially important event. Other animals were slaughtered to meet the basic food needs of the family but the fatted calf was for special occasions.
When the fatted calf was slaughtered, people understood that the occasion was really, really important. This didn’t happen for just any celebration. It was reserved for things like weddings and graduations and things like that.
I love the way this father made his son feel important and loved. This dad was a positive person. He was a happy person. I think he was fun to be around. He was a builder – not a destroyer. He was an encourager – not a discourager. He was constructive – not destructive. He was a happy person – not depressed or angry or serious all the time. Don’t you wish all dads could be this way? Don’t you wish all dads would celebrate and honor their children more? I do.
Here’s another thing I noticed about this dad. Fifth, he was humble.
“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.” Verse 28
This dad was not so full of himself that he would not humble himself. He ran to meet his younger son. Here, in this 28th verse, he goes out to plead with his older son. His sons were kind of spoiled weren’t they? Maybe they took advantage of the old man. Maybe they took his tender love for granted. But this dad didn’t care. They were too important to him for him not to humble themselves to keep the relationship alive.
Dads, go to your kids. You are supposed to be the mature one. No matter what they did – see that your relationship is restored or strengthened. Run to greet them! Go out where they are and plead with them. Be a humble, loving dad.
Lastly, the father, 6th, projects a happy future for his sons. He says,
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” Vs. 31-32
The father gives the younger son a robe, a ring and shoes to show he is back in the family. To the older son he says that “EVERYTHING I have is yours!”
The younger son blew his inheritance. Everything that is left is the older son’s. Because the younger son was accepted back into the family he was able to receive his standing in the family as far as business went. He lost what he could have had because of poor choices – but the future sure looks a lot brighter than the pig pen.
The old son needs to be reminded of what he has. I think there is a spiritual parallel here. Our choices may result in many blessings we could have had being lost. We may get into heaven – but with a lot less reward than we could have had – very much like the younger son.
The older son reminds me of those Christians who get their eyes off the future reward and onto others. “To compare is to despair”, some wise man said. Don’t do it. God reminds us to “fix our eyes on Jesus.” (Heb. 12:2)
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:1-2
We will get discouraged, like this elder son, if we don’t focus on the prize before us. Whatever you do – do it as unto the Lord and FOR the Lord. Always keep in mind the blessings God has for us in the future.
It is so important for fathers to project a positive future for their children. Yet, how often we hear things like, “You will never amount to anything!” Or “You are just like ______!” “You are going to wind up in prison!’
A child needs a dad who believes in him against all odds and projects a positive future for them. Like, “I know God is going to use you in a mighty way!” or “You are so smart. Maybe you will discover the cure for cancer.” Or “You are so good with people you might wind up as president one day!”
Dads, give your kids an example to follow, but also give them a standard; a goal; an ideal; or a dream to aspire to. We all need that. We all need to feel like someone believes in us.
Well, being a dad is a tremendous blessing and responsibility. We are so needed. But these qualities in this unknown, unnamed dad is something we should all aspire to. Let’s be better parents. Lets be better people. We CAN make a difference in someone’s life. Let’s review. This father:
1. He is loving
2. He had a good reputation
3. He was compassionate and showed it
4. Made his Son feel important
5. He was humble
6. Projected a positive future
Let’s go and do likewise.
