Somebody to Love
Genesis 5:1-2
For the past two weeks, we’ve been talking about marriage. We’ve considered what marriage ought to look like, our roles and how we live into God’s picture for marriage. But the Book of Genesis isn’t just about relationships and marriage, it’s also about families. So today, I want to talk a little bit parenting from God’s perspective.
First, recognize our children are a gift from God. In our Scripture today, it says that God blessed human beings. What was that blessing? Children. Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” So God gave us children to love and to be loved. There is no greater gift than being a parent. Children can be the biggest blessing in life but as any parent knows, they can be the biggest trial of your life. They can bring immense joy and they can bring utter heartbreak. But through it all, they are a gift and blessing from God. I believe that is experienced in three ways. First, by becoming parents, we can see ourselves and humanity from God’s perspective. We can see the joy God receives from us but also the heartbreak, the moments of triumph and of utter disappointment. Second, we were born to love and be loved. Children allow us not only to give love but receive it as well. Third, the blessing of children teaches us that life is not about us. As any parent will tell you, once children come, your life is no longer your own. It’s now about the kids. In a world that pushes us to be self-centered, we need to be reminded it’s not about us! This is why children are a gift and reward.
Second, children are to be the priority in life. There is no higher calling than to be a parent. It is the biggest responsibility you will ever receive and the greatest opportunity for influence on another. I have a calling on my life as a pastor to preach God’s word, to lead God’s church and to teach and equip God’s people what it means to follow Jesus. But parents, I am here to tell you it doesn’t even come close to the importance of the calling we all have to be a great parent to our children. In fact, it’s our first calling. At one point, I told the Ad Council that my family is always going to come first. Some got angry at that and judged me for that. But like it or not, that’s what God wants. I once had a church member proudly tell me they put their work for God first in their life and that their family understood all of the nights they had to be away from home. He was proud of his commitment to God and the sacrifice he made. But when I looked at his life, he was divorced and estranged from his children. His family paid the price. It wasn’t a price God wanted him to pay nor his family chose to pay. Andy Stanley in his book “Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide?” says that every time you make a decision, you’re cheating somebody. So when you say yes to staying late at work or even at church, you just cheated the family. So what should the priorities of a Christian father and mother be? God first. Marriage and family second. Work third and church fourth.
You can’t influence your family if you’re not around and that’s one of our greatest responsibilities and opportunities as a parent. I want you to notice verse 3: “When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image…” Notice that we have moved from Chapter 3 and God’s creation of Adam and Eve in God’s own likeness to now Adam and Eve starting a family. It doesn’t say that their son Seth is made in God’s likeness but that Adam now had a son “in his own likeness, in his own image.” Whether we like it or not, we’re a product of our families. Family makes us who we are. Most of the traits you have are either exactly like one of your parent’s or exactly opposite of one of your parent’s. The older I get, the more I hear and see my parents in the things I say and do. Can anybody relate? This is the power family: it molds and shapes us in who we are and who we become. Parents, instead of just always buying presents, make sure you have presence in your home with your family. God has called you to be a parent, so be present in their life to set up everybody in your family for success. Kids don’t want a perfect parent, but they want and need a parent who is present.
Third, we are to provide for our families financially and materially. 1Timothy 5:8 says, "Anyone who doesn’t provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." This is what it means to be part of a family. God takes our family relationships and our responsibility to each other very seriously. We are responsible for our families. Too many parents have kids but have shirked the responsibility to provide for their family. One of the first funerals we did of someone outside the church was of a man who had sired 26 kids by 18 women. One of his friends came forward and gave a eulogy and said, “Well, he took God’s command to go forth and be fruitful and multiply.” And everyone laughed in the sanctuary. But inwardly, I wonder how many of these children he was providing for. I knew the answer. It’s easy to sleep with someone and have a child, but it’s a whole other issue to be a father who provides for his family and kids. That’s what it means to be a parent. When we are given the gift of children, we have the responsibility to provide for them. Family matters to God. Therefore, it should matter to us.
Fourth, love them unconditionally. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12 Dr. Walt Larrimore writes in an article, “The ABCD’s of Nurturing Highly Healthy Children”: we need to love our children unconditionally. Unconditional love is loving “in spite of” what they do or think. Love is most basic of all emotional needs. Our children need to know they’re loved unconditionally. By doing so, they know they have value and significance. Children who know their Creator and their parent’s love for them are far more likely to become healthy. Conditional love requires a certain appearance, behavior or performance from a child. They have to do something or be something to earn your love. Unconditional love means that you love your child “in spite of”—even when their behavior or attitude is sub-par. It says, “There is nothing you can do to make me love you more.” We each need to love them unconditionally, letting them know they are God’s special gift to us. He goes on to share three other keys to Nurturing Highly Healthy Children. See how they are connected to unconditional love: affirmation, connectedness and discipline. Yes even discipline is an act of love. Make sure you’re children always know you love them.
Fifth, be a spiritual mentor. The book of Proverbs is a love letter from a dad to his son sharing advice from all the mistakes he made in life so his son won’t repeat them. In Proverbs 22:6 it says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Now parents, this is a promise from God. If you plant those seeds of faith in your children, when they are old, those seeds will still be there. Whether you are a single parent, a stepparent, or a legal guardian; one of the greatest gifts we could ever give our children isn’t an X-Box or a Wii. It’s a model, though not necessarily perfect model, that reflects the life that God wants us to live. Children are mentored spiritually first by seeing what we do on a daily basis. We are the first place our kids see God in us. It’s our responsibility to show our kids what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. Not just that, we are to train our kids in the ways of faith and that’s the Means of Grace (prayer, Scripture, accountability in a weekly Bible study, worship and communion and fasting) as well as performing Works of Mercy. Through both word and action, we are to model what it means to follow Jesus, giving them a pattern to follow throughout their lives and equipping them to be a success in God’s which is faithfulness and obedience.
I want to speak for just a moment to a painful reality in many parents’ lives and that is, kids who fall away from the faith. There are some Christian parents who raised their kids in the faith and planted those seeds and yet in their youth or adulthood, their kids have strayed from the faith. There’s nothing more painful for a parent when God is first in your life. In the midst of that pain, we have a promise from God: "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it." If you planted the seeds of faith, God will water them and nurture them until one day they will take root and begin to grow. Notice what Proverb’s doesn’t say your kids won’t act like idiots, or get in trouble, or challenge your authority, or drive you crazy or even stray from God. Remember, God has given them the gift of Free Will, just as He has you. But God does promise if you plant the seeds of faith in your children, God will take responsibility to grow those in them. They may be buried under all kinds of attitude, bad decisions and even a worldly outlook, but God through His grace will continue to nurture them. This is the good news: you can trust God in His promise and you are not in this alone. Your job is to train up a child, God’s job is to nurture their faith. Parents don’t give up because your kids are counting on you. God is counting on you too!
A word to the fathers. Be the Spiritual Head of your Household. In Joshua 24, Joshua is getting ready to lead the Hebrews into the promise land and he says to them, “Listen, you are going to have all kinds of opportunities to do whatever you want, but here is my challenge to you: “If serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 Dads, the reason Joshua could say that is because he understood his role as the spiritual leader in his home. He knew that as his faith goes, so goes the faith of his family. The Father is meant to set the standard and the bar for the faith of our children. Too often today, that responsibility has been shirked by men. Now it’s the mother has become the spiritual head of the home. And while they need to be commended for stepping up when there was a leadership vacuum, that still doesn’t release us men from leading our families spiritually as God intended. Dads, the most courageous thing, the manliest thing you can do, is make an all out, fully yielded commitment to God and model Jesus for your kids. Allow them to see God in you. Be the picture of who God has called you to be, and what they ought to want to look like. Train them up and lead them in by word and example in what it means to follow Jesus.
Now a word to the children and youth here today: Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother - which is the first commandment with a promise - so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” The Greek word for honor means “to revere, prize, and value.” Honor is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank. Whether you like it or not, they’re your parents. That’s an honor and a role God has bestowed on them and thus you should honor them. They’re not perfect but they are God-given so God exhorts us to honor our father and mother. How? Honor them with both your actions and attitudes. Do what they say because whether you acknowledge it or not, they’re older and wiser than you and know what’s best for you. And know this: honor begets honor. God will not honor those who will not obey His command to honor their parents. If we desire to please God and be blessed, honor our parents. It’s not always easy or fun, but it is a certain path to our purpose in life which is to glorify God.
So where do you begin? Pastor Doug Fields says with the end in mind. “Who do you want them to be and what do you want them to be like when they grow up? Even more important, what does God want? What would it take for them to be successful in life in God’s eyes? To be successful in God’s eyes, you need 7 things: First is know God’s will for their life and pursue it. Second is know God’s Word and live it. Third is trust God no matter the situation. Fourth is live courageously and take great risks for the kingdom. Fifth, have a personal, growing relationship with Jesus by practicing the Means of Grace. Sixth, serve others by doing Works of Mercy for in need. Seventh, lead a life of generosity in response to God who was so gracious that He gave his only Son to dies on the cross for our sins, an example for us to follow. But all that starts with you as you model this life for your kids. Amen.
