As I draw closer to God, God in turn draws closer to me. I've been growing constantly as a result of this relationship. I am
Growing in leaps and bounds, at a steep and steady pace: I am falling and growing at the same time, but should I fail, I will be lost, right? How bad would it be if I love Jesus this much and I end up being condemned anyway? Let me add, being condemned as a result of my keen knowledge of God’s Word and my sincere desire to draw even closer. - How sad will it be!?
Sometimes we look back at our salvational experience and we ask: Where did my Spiritual High go? I am afraid to grow so close to the Lord that the temptations get, so tough, that I would not want to overcome anymore.
We wholeheartedly and unconditionally surrender our lives to Christ and we start living a life of victory. You get a spiritual high and you are floating on cloud nine, doing just great! For a while at least! But then you look back and you realize that, slowly but surely, you became stuck in rut. – It happened!– You become so busy and preoccupied with other things that you just can’t seem to find time for God anymore then you desperately try to make time for God and to Spark up your relationship with the Holy Spirit; but you get bombarded with responsibilities. It feels as if you got a promotion – The story of your life became a never ending cycle of crisis management! You battle with that eerie nagging feeling that you are in a war against time and circumstances, but you are not growing-Spiritually-You are not where the Lord wants you to be, and you know it. You, so want to relive the honeymoon of your born again experience. But no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to make it happen – victory is just out of reach. You unwillingly find yourself devoting all of your time to other purposes and concerns. You really don’t want to engague your mind with other things and you desperately want to spend time with God. But you drift away. You are determined to get rid of these “time bombs” but you can’t seem to shake it; every time consuming task becomes vitally important to take care of. Your spiritual boat is sinking. You are asking yourself – am I where Jesus wants me to be? And you become very concerned. Then you start to wonder, did I really make a full commitment; am I really saved? Will I make it? Surely God won’t say “good and faithful servant” to a weakling like me? Your past sins haunt you, and you worry. You are asking yourself. Will I fall back and can someone like me, really stay committed. Listen up and listen real good! These thoughts are messages coming from the Holy Spirit, impressing your mind to return to Christ. Whatever you do- do not ignore them! I know you are concerned and deeply troubled by your lack of devotion. You are anxious and worried that you would lose your first love – and you should be! Let me say it again YOU SHOULD BE!
Today, I will tell you a true life story: it is a part of my battle contending with God and it is very real! And you need to plead with God till you get victory – Don’t stop-ever!
I want to share with you how God has touched my life, rescuing my life from spiritual suicide (inactivity) Giving me peace and relieving me from an intense fear of losing my way.
So, now you know, my clean slate (washed as white as wool) was not so clean anymore. When we slide back, we seem to fail to take action; there is a failure to follow through. I want to tell you a secret – the single most important thing you could do to obtain a life of continual victory is to get up! Always - but always GET UP! Do not stay down, no matter what – even if you feel worse than the devil himself. GET – UP already! Ask, seek, and knock – desperately, urgently and continually. It spells A.S.K Ask, seek, and knock and it will be opened to you, you will find and you will go in and the Father promised the Holy Spirit to those who ask for it!
You might feel as I felt. So let me tell you about it: I gave my life to Christ and He saved me. I was baptized, and I started growing in the Lord, through continual Bible study, He has asked me to draw closer and become more like him by surrendering my will to His commandments (a reflection of His character).
Well, I have asked and I seeked and I had knocked (continuously) asking that the Lord would save me no matter what it takes! And I meant it! I truly meant it, I pleaded with God. I have done this persistently enough to go through true repentance (Try this – it really works) I can safely say, I really had an experience with God. I mean - a complete change of heart! The Holy Spirit started working through me to overcome many of my sins. However. I am constantly being bombarded by the devil. Every trial seems to be harder than the one before.
Having had this experience, I now find myself in a great and a very real dilemma. As I draw closer to God, God in turn draws closer to me. I've been growing constantly as a result of this relationship. I am
Growing in leaps and bounds, at a steep and steady pace: that's what I “naggingly” prayed for, and that's what I got! (Try this - LUKE 18)
However, in the process of overcoming sin; the temptations being thrown at me became harder and harder to overcome. This scared me; I became worried that I would grow so close to Jesus, that I would be left with bigger and harder temptations that are too difficult to overcome. I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind. I know that God gives the ability to overcome (He gives a way of escape with the temptation) Leaving me without any excuse. I also know that we won't be tempted above our own power, if we rely on The Help of the Holy Spirit- but will I choose to take the victory or the temptation?
I was still worried – this is a very real fear. True, God may give me a way to escape, but I might not take it! Should it become that hard! I know so much about the Word, Jesus' character, my responsibility and the sin against the Holy Spirit. I am afraid that this knowledge will cause me to be condemned, should I fail to want to overcome anymore. Leaving me vulnerable and unable to resist temptation (I am professing: I will rather die than sin, and I am dead to sin) but it is not that easy! What if I find myself Unable to stay on the narrow road? (It's not called
the narrow for nothing, you know!) It's got a steep incline! What will happen should I fall, not being able to resist anymore. Satan knows our weak points very well and our weak points are truly weak. I admitted, I
Want to stay in Christ but I am so afraid that I will fall. Then I will be worse off than one who never believed, receiving the seven other daemons. I am afraid that I am seeking God so hard that I am setting myself up for condemnation, because of my knowledge and experience of salvation. I mean, I don't want to lose my salvation because of knowledge. There will be those who will enter into His eternal rest, being ignorant of the truth. I know I should not stop learning and growing but I am left with this concern. I love Jesus so much! I am falling and growing at the same time, but should I fail, I will be lost, right? How bad would it be if I love Jesus this much and I end up being condemned anyway. Let me add, being condemned as a result of Biblical knowledge and my sincere desire to draw even closer. - How sad will it be!?
First off, don’t panic: The fact that you are struggling with sin and temptation is proof positive that the Holy Spirit is working with you – follow His lead! You will struggle and fall till the day you die. This is part of what it means to live in this world as a sinner. 1 John 2:1 "My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
Claim the promises that you are forgiven in Jesus. Claim the righteous of Christ; He will keep you in spite of yourself. The righteousness that comes by faith. But be sure to keep on asking! Nagging is important! Pray without ceasing – The entire day long if you can, even if it is silent prayers. God loves nagging but He hates silence! Ask the Lord to give you true repentance and to show you what it is that you need to repent off; ask, what I need to pray for Lord? Ask for forgiveness and His leading – Be specific; if you want to grow, specify what you want to grow into! Read your Bible over and over, and over again (especially the new testament and the book of John). Mark each and every verse that point you to a victorious life.
The Holy Spirit is working in your life, big time. But don’t allow Satan discourage you with your sins, which is what he is doing. When he says that you are a sinner, admit it, but then claim that Jesus died for sinners and you are His and in His righteousness you stand. Have confidence! Pray that the His words would stay in your mouth day in and day out-all of the time – and make sure it does! You are a sinner, of course you will fall. You are helpless and lost in and of yourself – This is precisely why Jesus died for you, claim these promises and trust in Christ’s salvation and His saving Grace. Keep on dialoguing with God, remove yourself from bad influences, as far as possible, and read your Bible constantly. By doing this you will stay on your spiritual High! If not, you need to draw closer by praying more and asking more! And make time for God, (seek first the Kingdom of God – by making His cause priority over every other distraction, even time itself!) When you seek God, and when you pray – Be honest and intensely sincere, this is key!
God will save you, if you abide in the vine, remember He is the vine. He is the root, He nourishes and He holds you up, but stay connected-all the time! – This is abiding in the vine! Do not stay down! Read what you need to do to work the works of God according to Jesus: John 6:27-29
