Summary: What's the harm in same sex marriage? (Material adapted from various sources and Marriage: What is it, why it matters, and the consequences of redefining it by Ryan T. Anderson)

HoHum:

Henry Rollins- “Don't hide behind the Constitution or the Bible. If you're against gay marriage, just be honest, put a scarlet 'H' on your shirt, and say, 'I am a homophobe!”

WBTU:

Many are saying that we are losing the fight over marriage in this country. A majority of the people want same sex marriage legalized. Supreme Court is going to decide on this in a few months. The group who most supports same sex marriage are those in their 20’s and 30’s.

Many young people are asking, “What the harm in same sex marriage?”

For instances:

Harm to the same sex couple

This arrangement is a major obstacle to the gospel. Go back to 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Those who are involved in this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Their salvation is at stake. We notice here that some of them were that way. They were no longer that way. This union is against creation and against God’s will. Need to repent and change through the gospel and the HS. It can be done. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV.

The problem with same sex marriage is that society is telling the homosexual that they do not need to change. They are fine just the way they are. God created them that way (not true) and they need to embrace the way they are. No repentance over this issue and no change. This is not viewed as sin. “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20.

God is not in that union the way that he is in a biblical marriage. How can God bless something that he calls unnatural and a perversion (Romans 1)? “For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”” 1 Peter 3:10-12, NIV.

This is not good according to the Bible but evil. Bad to the soul but also bad to the body. “Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” Romans 1:27, NIV.

Harm to children

Many of these same sex couples want to adopt children. The popular myth out there is that children of homosexual parents do just as well or no differently than children raised by a mother and father. Until recently unable to study the truth of that myth. However, for several years now the government has been putting children in same sex couples homes. Now there is a study of 207,000 children that looked to see if larger random samples could replicate findings showing no difference between children with two moms, for example, and those with a mom and a dad. It was taken from the U.S. National Health Interview Survey looking at twelve measures of emotional and developmental problems with controls for age, race, sex and parental income and education. The study included 512 random children raised by same-sex couples. What the research finds is that children raised by homosexual parents have emotional problems at least twice the rate of children raised with opposite-sex parents. The study notes a "sharp differentiation" between the emotional health and problems of children raised in homosexual homes and those with opposite-sex parents.

Biblical marriage is based on the complementarity of the man and woman. Reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the reality that children need a mother and a father. There is no such thing as “parenting.” There is mothering, and there is fathering, and children do best with both. While a single parent can provide for a child, there are, on average, differences in the ways that mothers and fathers interact with their children and the functional roles that they play. David Popenoe of Rutgers University says, “We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies,’ just as we should disavow the popular notion that ‘daddies can make good mommies.’ The two sexes are different to the core, and each is necessary- culturally and biologically- for the optimal development of a human being.” Family studies reveal that a child does best when raised by a married mother and father.

Many who support same sex marriage bring up examples of children who were raised by gay couples. These children are so thankful to have any adult adopt them. Rarely hear of negative experiences from children raised by gay couples. However, in a recent article by the Washington Times they bring up some negative testimonies of children raised by same sex couples. Turns out that several raised by homosexuals are petitioning the courts to keep marriage between a man and a woman. Several things I could bring up from the article but I want us to be able to sleep tonight. Will bring up one woman named Ms. Faust in the article. “Ms. Faust doesn't have a single criticism of her beloved mother and her lesbian partner, but she is still urging the 5th Circuit to uphold the man-woman marriage laws. "It wasn't until I had children of my own that the wholeness and worth of having both father and mother raising their children together hit me like a freight train," Ms. Faust said recently. "My kids need both of us" and "marriage law should always encourage and promote that ideal of mothers and fathers parenting their children together."”

Even the worst of home environments can produce well adjusted and stable adults. Look what the Lord has done! However, the home should be a positive instead of a negative. To make same sex marriage the law of the land would expose more children to unstable and ungodly homes. “Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:15, NIV. “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” 1 Corinthians 7:14, NIV.

Harm to our freedoms

Those of us who believe in the bible will have our freedoms threatened. The law and culture will seek to eliminate our voice through economic, social, and legal pressure. If marriage is redefined, believing what virtually every human society once believed about marriage will be seen increasingly as a malicious prejudice to be driven to the margins of society. The consequences are becoming increasingly more apparent.

The state may require those who contract with the government, receive governmental monies, or work directly for the state to embrace and promote same sex marriage even if it violates one’s beliefs. Nondiscriminations laws will make everyone liable to civil suits for refusing to treat same sex relationships as marriages. A culture that is hostile to biblical ideals on marriage may discipline, fire or deny professional certification to those who express support for biblical marriage.

Right now much of this is already happening. The New Mexico Human Rights Commission prosecuted a photographer for declining to photograph a same sex ceremony. Doctors in California were successfully sued for declining to perform an artificial insemination on a woman in a same sex relationship. Owners of a bed and breakfast in Illinois who declined to rent their facility for a same sex civil union ceremony were sued for violating the state non discrimination law. A Georgia counselor was fired after she referred someone in a same sex relationship to another counselor. This is just the tip of the iceberg. These are private businesses and individuals who are being prosecuted. No stopping there, it will move to churches who will be prosecuted for denying same sex couples weddings in their facilities. No stopping there, even if speaking about this in a church service, this is hate speech and be prosecuted for hate speech and hate crimes.

There is the separation of church and state and as Christians we should be uninvolved. We need to be quiet and go with the flow. What people can miss is the distinction between laws that criminalize an activity and laws that promote an activity. The laws surrounding marriage belong to the latter category. The government is concerned about marriage because marriage contributes to the order, peace, and good of society at large. Therefore, it offers financial incentives for marriage, such as tax breaks or inheritance rights. In other words, institutionalizing same-sex marriage does not merely make government neutral toward unrighteousness; it means the government is promoting unrighteousness.

The very idea of freedom finds its roots in the Bible in one of the most famous quotes of Jesus: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”” John 8:32, NIV. According to this scripture, we can only be free by knowing the truth. The truth is found in Jesus and His Word. Not allowed to discuss the whole truth, then there is a problem.

Conclusion and invitation:

What’s the harm in same sex marriage? Harm is to marriage. Marriage is based on the truth that men and woman are complementary, the fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and the reality that children need a mother and a father. Redefining marriage does not expand this understanding; it rejects all these truths. Marriage is society’s least restrictive means of ensuring the well being of children. By encouraging the biblical norms of marriage- monogamy, exclusivity, and permanence- the state strengthens civil society and reduces its own role. The future of this country depends on the future of marriage and the family.

What’s the harm in same sex marriage? The harm is to everyone.