Opening illustration: When I was about nine or ten, my grandmother a very godly woman, would give spiritual advice to keep the grandchildren on the straight and narrow. I remember one thing she said very clearly. “Stay away from sin, because you don’t want to commit the unforgivable sin.” Well, I did not know what that sin was, and maybe, she did not tell me on purpose, because I sure did not want to commit that sin! In my mind, I associated sins found out with spankings, and I envisioned a sin that would result in a perpetual spanking, in the world without end … amen! For me, that was scary!
Let us turn to Matthew 18 and see the kind of sin this man committed which got him into a lot of trouble.
Introduction: Forgiveness is not natural to man. Our fallen-human nature has at its core a selfish desire for revenge, and personal retribution. But forgiveness is the whole basis of our opportunity for heaven. It is a most Christ-like character trait. Think about Christ as he was dying on the cross, having been falsely accused by His own people, beaten and mocked, by the Roman soldiers. Yet His attitude on the cross is one of forgiveness, Luke 23:34 (KJV), “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Forgiveness reflects the highest human virtue, because it so clearly reflects the character of God. A person who forgives is a person who emulates godly character. Nothing so much demonstrates God’s love as His forgiveness. A person who does not forgive is therefore a person lacking in godly character and without Christ-like love, no matter how correct his theology or how outwardly spotless his morals appear to be. A Christian who will not relinquish a hateful, resentful attitude toward someone who has wronged him is a person who knows neither the true glory of his redeemed humanity nor the true glory of God’s gracious divinity. An unforgiving Christian is a living contradiction of His new nature in Christ. It is central to the heart of God to forgive, and only the Christian who radiates forgiveness radiates true godliness.
Considering forgiveness from another direction, Christians need to forgive because they themselves need forgiveness. They are spiritual children and, like all children, are ignorant, weak, selfish, disobedient, and regularly in need of forgiveness, both from God and from each other. Forgiving is a give-and-take issue of life.
Forgiveness is therefore the key to spiritual unity in the church, because it is the key to love and the key to all meaningful relationships. Only forgiveness can break down the barriers that sin continually and inevitably erects between people, including God’s people.
How does FORGIVENESS play out in our lives?
1. The Gift of Forgiveness (vs. 23-27)
What is this wonderful, biblical forgiveness? There are several words used for forgiveness in the Bible: three Hebrew words in the Old Testament and four Greek words in the New Testament. The first Hebrew word is kafar, from which we get the meaning "to cover," as in, "to cover or blot out our sins." The second word is nasa, which means "to bear, to take away." The third word is salach, which is used only with reference to God forgiving the sins of people. It means "to pardon," as in, "our God [who will] freely pardon." (Isaiah 55:7)
In the New Testament, first you find the Greek word apoluein, which means "to release." There also is the wonderful word charizomai, which comes from the word charis, or "grace." Charizomai means "to grace you," to freely give you heaven when you deserve hell. What a truly beautiful word! The third word is aphesis, from the Greek word aphiemi, "to send away." Finally, there is paresis, which means "to disregard"-this word is used in the context that God will not see our offenses, but rather will disregard them.
Forgiveness does not mean that we pretend like nothing ever happened. It does not mean trusting a swindler with money, trusting a wife-beater to not get abusive again, or appointing a child-molester to be a youth pastor. However, forgiving means that we do not harbor grudges, we do not seek vengeance. It means letting go of our need to get even. It means praying for our enemies. It means seeing ourselves in their shoes, knowing that God has, for the sake of Christ, forgiven us all our sins too. No groveling required. God does not want us to sin again, but his mercy lasts forever.
God wants us to forgive, and he knows that it’s hard. He wants us to obey him in everything, and he knows that we don’t. That’s why our salvation does not depend on our performance, but on the righteousness of Christ. Our salvation does not depend on our performance in keeping the law, or in having enough faith, or in forgiving as well as we ought. In all these areas, we are sinners who fall short of the glory of God.
Our salvation depends not on us, but on Christ, and on our connection to him. He is the one who forgives with the sincerity and frequency that is required, and when our lives are hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3), God attributes Christ’s perfect obedience, including his perfect forgiveness, to us.
God wants us to forgive others because he forgives us. He forgives us far more generously than 77 times. The point is that we are to realize our need for mercy, look to him for mercy, depend on his mercy, and instead of harboring our hurts and nursing our grievances, we need to ask him to help us begin to forgive others.
In this world of sin and ignorance, offenses are inevitable. We’ve all been hurt. So, what’s the worst thing that has happened to you? What resentment do you carry? For our own good, we need to let our resentments go. Jesus will help us—that’s something worth praying about.
Forgiveness means letting go of our need to get even.
2. Forgive to be Forgiven (vs. 28-30)
Jesus, however, turns Peter’s question on his head by replying with a ridiculous, even impossible, reply. “You want to play the numbers game?” Jesus more or less asks, “Okay, how about this one?” It’s not that Jesus wants Peter to increase his forgiveness quota, you see, it’s that he wants him to stop counting altogether simply because forgiveness, like love, is inherently and intimately relational rather than legal and therefore cannot be counted. Had Peter asked Jesus how many times he should love his neighbor, we’d perceive his misunderstanding: love can’t be quantified or counted. But he asks about forgiveness and we miss his mistake. Apparently Math and Forgiveness don’t go together.
Why? I think that it’s because we tend to treat forgiveness as a response to the law. You know, when someone screws up we can either punish or forgive that person. But I’m not sure that’s a helpful or accurate way to size things up. Because whereas law regulates behavior by holding us accountable to certain prescribed and agreed-upon values and morals – and in this way makes room for relationships to flourish – the law does not constitute or govern actual relationships. The law can declare to us that it is right to help someone in need and wrong to hurt that same person, in other words, but law cannot make us friends with that person, let alone make us love him or her. Forgiveness, as an expression of love, ultimately, is not about regulating behavior but rather about maintaining and nurturing our relationships.
The point of this parable is clear, and its demands both in the context of the Gospel of Matthew and its application in our congregations today is urgent. Forgiveness lies at the heart of our faith in God and our love of one another. Forgiveness, which we receive from God our King in the person of Jesus is what our King expects from his subjects in their dealings with each other.
Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors; as a prayer this puts the emphasis on what we will receive in turn for the forgiveness we have offered. Forgive your brother or sister from your heart; the parable turns the tables, teaching us that we have been first forgiven and encouraging us to forgive in turn. Taken together, this is a composite picture of the kingdom of heaven, and the kingdom we practice, both of which are driven by forgiveness.
By this parable, Jesus holds up a mirror to us each time we think we have to limit our forgiveness. “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?” That question of the king’s is also the question that Christ asks us. Dragging our feet in forgiving is illogical for someone who has come to know God’s excessive forgiveness. God’s forgiveness of course comes first. It is not conditioned by our forgiveness. But since forgiveness is an undivided whole, it is impossible to live in God’s forgiveness without “forgiving your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness "from your heart" is in contrast to forgiveness with one's lips only (Matthew 15:8, quoting Isaiah 29:13). The forgiveness must be genuine. Jesus refers to God as "my heavenly Father" in an intimate and formal title. How could our heavenly Father punish unforgiving people? Is Jesus serious?
Illustration: What do you do when someone continually hurts you? What do you do when someone has hurt you deeply? Through habit or mean intention, some people create an atmosphere of pain that makes living the Christian life almost impossible. As much as we try, forgiveness seems to slip away. Hatred and emotional distance take its place. At these times, we want to cry out, "Lord! I have really tried. And, I've had enough!"
3. Un-forgiveness finds No Mercy (vs. 31-35)
Christians must be merciful to others. There are no other options. In James 2:12 the brother of Jesus writes, “For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy.” We should adhere to this warning. We should seek and desire to give mercy to others, as we would desire mercy from God and others in our own lives. In fact Matthew 5:7 says, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”
But there is an application of this principle for the believer as well. Christians who fail to show mercy will be subject to divine chastisement without much mercy. That is the whole message of this parable. I am convinced that multitudes of Christians who suffer from stress, depression, discouragement, relationship problems, and all sorts of other hardships experience these things because of a refusal to forgive. Forgiveness from the heart would liberate the person immediately from such “torturers”—and glorify God in the process.
Notice that Jesus speaks of forgiveness “from your heart” (Matt. 18:35). Genuine forgiveness is not feigned or grudging, but is given as freely as we ourselves desire to be forgiven. It involves a deliberate refusal to hold the guilt over the head of the offender. It means ending the bitterness, laying aside anger, and refusing to dwell on the offense that has been forgiven. It is a complete letting go of any thought of retaliation or reprisal. It is, as nearly as possible, the human equivalent of what God promises—to remember the sin no more (cf. Jeremiah 31:34). Such forgiveness does not come easy, particularly when it deals with the kinds of sins that destroy lives and relationships.
As Christians we need to show mercy to those less fortunate. God gives us the great responsibility to show mercy to those less fortunate to demonstrate His own mercy to them. Our mercy towards those hurting just might provide the spiritual spark to move one forward in faith and life. This mercy can sometimes come easier than the other two forms, but it still must come. I pray that something would break right in their lives that maybe something would really change to get them back on track.
Well, why do we show mercy and forgiveness to others? Mercy has been given to us a million-times fold. What we deserve as sinners is death ... what we received through Christ is life, the abundant life now and life everlasting in the future. We know that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. The wages of that sin is death, spiritual death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. And whoever confesses that Jesus is Lord, which includes our confession and repentance, and believes in his heart that God raised His son from the dead, will be saved.
Our Lord is one who suffered and died on the cross for and because of our sin, but He rose from the dead, forever defeating the power of sin and death in our lives. This is a debt that can never be repaid by any one man or by all humanity put together. It was paid willingly out of love by the one perfect Man, Jesus Christ. This ultimate mercy we have received demands that we demonstrate mercy to others.
Illustration: I received a piece of mail not too long ago that brought a rather disconcerting message. The sales piece said: "God May Forgive, But The IRS Won't." It went on to offer, for $3.50, a little booklet titled "17 Most Common Tax Mistakes Ministers Make, What They Are, And How To Avoid Them." I just wish there was a booklet to help all of us avoid the one most common mistake all of us make all of the time. That mistake is to rewrite the title of that little booklet with our lives to read: "God May Forgive, But I Won't."
Application: There are some today who have harbored bitterness against people for years, because of a trespass, a slight, because of some hurt, or because of any one of a multitude of other issues. You are suffering from the consequences of your own lack of forgiveness. Worse yet, the church ministry is hurt, the name of Jesus is hurt, simply because you will not forgive. The quickest path for you to obtain peace inside yourself, peace with God and display Christ-like love is for you to confess and forsake. Then, go to that brother or sister in Christ and make things right. You have a God who is full of loving-kindness and mercy and will lavish His blessings upon you, if you will obey Him by repenting and forgiving others.
